


It's Hard When You're Young

by MinkaMouse



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Best Friends, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Childhood Friends, Deadpool References, F/M, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Mutant Powers, Mutant Reader, Neighbors, Nice Peter, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Precious Peter Parker, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Telekinesis, Telepathy, X-Men References
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-02-04 14:14:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 52,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18606187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinkaMouse/pseuds/MinkaMouse
Summary: Okay. Fine. All pre-teens go through the trials and tribulations of puberty but do all pre-teens also have the the ability to move objects with their mind as well as hear the thoughts and feelings of everyone around them? No? Just you? Lovely.It's not like that was bad enough but you also have to deal with your parents being at each other's throats every time they're in the same room and, just your luck, everyone around you thinks you're nothing but a kid (which is fair and true, but still)! But hey, at least you know who Spider-Man is.(A/N: At the beginning of this fic, Peter and the Reader have about a five year age difference. That said, nothing creepy will come out of it. This age difference will become important later on in the story. Be rest assured, until everyone is legal, nothing is going to happen.)





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> At the beginning of this fic, Peter and the Reader have about a five year age difference. That said, nothing creepy will come out of it. This age difference will become important later on in the story. Be rest assured, until everyone is legal, nothing is going to happen.
> 
> Peter Parker - 16 years old  
> Reader - 11 years old

You hear your parents fighting again in their bedroom so you lock your bedroom door and shuffle your sock covered feet all the way to the far corner of your room where you sit, back pressed against the wall and knees to your chest. Their voices still reach you so you bring your hands forward, your left palm facing your closet and your right palm towards your dresser and with all the concentration you can muster, you move both large pieces of furniture towards your door, barricading yourself in your room. You feel a drop of sweat slide down from your temple to your cheek and maybe a bit of a headache but you can no longer hear your parents.

The walls are thin in your apartment and you wonder if your neighbors have complained about the noise yet. You think about the nice Italian women next door and her nephew and you cannot imagine them confronting your bear of a father and stern-looking mother. You hear something crash but you find that the noise comes from the wall behind you. It’s your neighbor, Peter. You know it is his room on the opposite end as you have heard multiple times the movies he and his friend have watched, the music he listens to, as well as the curses of frustration he lets out when doing his homework. You close your eyes and rather than straining your ears to eavesdrop, you focus you mind to slip through your wall and into his thoughts.

_Why is it sticking?_ You hear his panic mind yell and you wonder if maybe he is working on a school project. _STOP STICKING!_

You hear a crash and maybe you hear his aunt call for him.

_Let go let go let go_ Peter’s mind chants and you adjust yourself to press your ear against the wall. You jump back when Peter slams against his wall. _Oh my god don’t let go. DO NOT LET GO. Keep sticking. Please keep sticking._ He is practically screaming and you have to disconnect your mind because of the headache that is forming.

It is only in this moment that you realize that someone is fumbling with your doorknob and trying to push your door open. You panic, wondering how long you’ve been in Peter’s head and you immediately move your arms in a motion that blows your closet and dresser away from the door, smashing into your walls. Your father pushes your door open with more force than you realize and he nearly falls flat on his face. You see your mother standing behind him, and for the first time in your life you see that she is scared.

“What is going on in here?” You father asks and when you do not answer, he says your name in a way that sounds like a threat. He points to your closet, its doors hanging open and your clothes spilling out. “What did you do? TELL ME.”

…

Your mother drops you off at your neighbor’s place early the next morning and it takes everything in you to not run into Aunt May’s arms. You are ushered into the living room and you try to ignore the adults talking, knowing that your mother is apologizing for dumping you here again while she goes to work. She is not sorry in the least. You know this because her thoughts are nothing but leaving the apartment building and getting as far away from you and your father as possible. She is going to work overtime again tonight and if you dwell into your father’s thoughts, you know that he is going to go out drinking with his friends, planning to stay out late even longer.

The word _mutant_ flits through both their minds and you immediately search for Peter. You dump your backpack onto the nearest chair and dash towards his room. Without knocking, you burst through his door, his name coming out like a squeal.

He isn’t in his room.

“Peter?” You say again, this time softer as you scan his bedroom looking for places where he could hide. He isn’t under his desk or on the top bunk of his bed. At least, you don't think he is. You aren’t tall enough to actually crane your head to see. You think about giving up, calling Aunt May to ask where he is when a scramble of panic seeps into you mind.

_Don’t look up. Please don’t look up._

You bite your lip and tug at the hem of your shirt, shifting from one foot to another. Oh how tempting it is to look up. You can hear Peter’s mind loud and clear, and it’s almost like he’s saying a prayer. You wonder how long you can stay in his room before he decides to show himself.

_Oh God please keep sticking._

You hear Aunt May call yours and Peter’s name from the kitchen and you almost laugh out loud by how Peter’s mind curses.

“Coming!” You call back and scramble out of Peter’s room, making sure his door clicks when you close it. You’re not even two steps away when you hear something, or rather, someone crash to the floor.

“I think Peter’s in the bathroom,” you tell Aunt May when she asks where her nephew is.

“He’s been holed up in his room this whole weekend,” Aunt May says once you settle yourself into your seat. “He had a high fever the other night, too.”

“Is he okay?” You ask, pausing from scooping cereal into your mouth.

“I think so…he was fine the next day but he’s been weird.”

“Must be puberty,” you say eating.

Aunt May snorts. “And what do you know about that, honey?”

“Loads! We're learning about it in school.” You grin, feeling milk drip down your chin. You wipe it off with the back of your hand. “I’m practically an expert.”

“Who’s an expert?” Peter asks, walking into the kitchen. His hair is sticking up in various places and his clothes looked wrinkled from being pulled on. He is also slightly out of breath.

Aunt May says your name fondly. “She can teach you all about puberty.”

“You’re eleven,” Peter says, reaching his hand out to ruffle your hair like he always does. He stops short and you can hear his thoughts about sticking as he lowers his hand back down to his side. You’re grateful.

…

It takes about a month or two before Peter figures out how to handle his “stickiness” and before you knew it, Peter’s thoughts are filled with developing some sort of “web fluid” and costume. You do not understand the formulas and calculations that goes through his mind and you find yourself visiting his thoughts less and less. You think he is trying to be like the superheroes you see on the news and you wonder how sweet Peter Parker has it in him to beat up guys twice his size. You give him two days out on the street before he gives up.

Two weeks later, you friend sends you a YouTube link. It’s a video of a boy dressed in blue and red, swinging through the air before stopping a car crash from happening with the use of his— _are those webs?_

Since that video, you find yourself googling “Spider-Man” every chance you get to check up on Peter’s latest activities. You mostly find tweets about Spider-Man stopping a mugging or catching a purse snatcher but there are times when you find out that the masked vigilante has helped in preventing serious car accidents and the like. At night, just to calm your heart and your nerves, you hide behind your window’s curtains, watching the night sky for Peter to swing into his bedroom. You see him dressed in red and blue, black goggles over his eyes, and he crawls across the surface of your building’s walls before he quietly slips through his window.

_Ow ow ow,_ you hear his thoughts moan, _this is gonna hurt tomorrow._


	2. Fly on the Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your powers are developing everyday and, like any normal eleven year old, you use it to your advantage—from taking snacks from too high to reach places to maybe getting a little help with your homework. Today, you find yourself using it to eavesdrop on the one and only Tony Stark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 16 years old  
> Reader - 11 years old

It has been six months since Peter got his powers which meant it has been six months of your parents forcing you to stay at the Parkers which meant it has been six months of Peter having to babysit you while Aunt May went for her shift at work which meant six months of Peter making up excuses as to why you weren’t allowed in his room anymore and why he had to head out for a few hours because he left something with Ned, his best friend.

You are starting to wonder if Peter thinks you are an idiot with how you never questioned his lame excuses. At least, you think, with Peter out of the apartment, you could practice your telekinesis all you want, starting with snagging a cookie from the cookie jar on top of the fridge. Ever since you parents found out about your mutant powers, they insisted that you attend a special school for mutants. Your mother made the excuse that it would be better that you be surrounded by people just like you and have experts teach you how to hone your powers. You knew that her real reason was that she wanted you out of her sight and that the special school was also a boarding school. You refused, despite the temptation of being able to meet other mutants, and resigned yourself to teaching yourself how to use your powers.

With Aunt May at work and Peter out patrolling, you find yourself practicing your powers in the privacy of their home, lifting the sofa up to the ceiling as well as slipping into Sandy Lee’s, who lived two floors down, mind as she answers her algebra homework. She is in your math class and because Peter is no longer around to tutor you, you had to take matters into your own hands. You just had to make sure you got some of your answers wrong less you find yourself in the advanced class the following year.

You were in the middle of doing your biology report when loud, erratic thoughts slipped into your mind. Suddenly, your mind is filled with calculations, laws, rules, loopholes, thoughts of life or death situations, guilt, pride, worry, and panic. There’s a chant in your mind about bringing a kid into battle and having no choice about it. You slam your pen down on the kitchen table just as Aunt May opens the door to reveal the one and only Tony Stark.

He asks who you are when he catches sight of you standing just behind the kitchen counter. He thinks you’re her daughter and you nearly snort as he thinks of complementing you and saying you look just like Aunt May. She saves him from the embarrassment.

“She’s… She’s our neighbor. Her parents ask us to watch over her,” Aunt May says, flustered. She thinks she’s dreaming.

“Oh, neat. Hi, kid,” Mr. Stark greets you and you can tell that he is not in the mood for small talk. He wants to know where Peter is. “Is Peter home?” He goes straight to the point.

“He should be on his way home,” you tell him because you have been in Peter’s head so often that you immediately know where he is. “He, uhm, texted me.” You add, lamely. They seem to buy it.

“Perfect.” Tony says, his lips quirk upwards just a bit. It is in this moment that you realize that his right eye is bruised. The temptation to look into his memories is almost too strong.

“Did Peter do something?” Aunt May asks, wringing her hands. You don’t blame her for being anxious. It’s not every day Tony Stark makes an appearance at the Parker Residence.

“Oh? You don’t know?” Mr. Starks says, his brows shooting up. You wonder if you would fall for his acting if you were not able to read his mind. “I would have thought Peter would tell you. This is a big deal after all. Enormous.”

“I… I’m sorry. Peter hasn’t told me anything.” Aunt May looks to you. “Has he said anything?”

Tony Stark’s mind is going on about a scholarship that you know Peter has not applied for.

“I don’t think he’s mentioned anything about Mr. Stark before,” you say slowly.

“Well, that’s too bad. You see, he’s been chosen for the scholarship.” Mr. Stark says.

Aunt May looks like she needs to sit down.

…

It was just an experiment. You did not think it was actually going to work but yet here you are, leaning against the wall behind Mr. Stark and Aunt May, listening to their conversation just minutes after Aunt May asked you to give them some privacy while they discussed Peter’s scholarship. You had made your way towards Peter’s bedroom, out of their sight, before you tried your hand, or rather, your mind at camouflage. You waltzed back into the living room, steps light and airy in order to not give yourself away, and neither adult noticed that there was another presence in the room. You prayed that you could keep this mind trick up until Peter got home.

Mr. Stark had just picked up a walnut date loaf when the front door cracks open, revealing Peter.

“Hey, May,” Peter greats as he lifts his backpack over his shoulder. His earphones are still in and you force yourself not to look into his mind, scared that maybe the loud music will shock you out of your invisibility. You were already risking losing your concentration when you wiggled yourself into Mr. Stark’s mind, trying to find out why exactly he thought it was a good idea to recruit Peter. As far as you could tell, the Avengers have split up and are now at war with each other. Why exactly? You aren’t too sure. There was too many laws and big words surrounding their reasons.

“Hey,” Aunt May says, her voice sweet and casual. “How was school today?” She has a big smile on her face.

“Okay. This crazy car parked outside…,” Peter’s words die on his lips when he catches sight of Mr. Stark sitting on his living room sofa. You wish you could laugh at his face but you can’t bring yourself to, knowing what is going to happen next.

…

You think you nearly piss yourself when Mr. Stark asks for five minutes alone with Peter after the young hero plays along with the billionaire’s game. Aunt May nods her head and just as Peter and Mr. Stark pass by your invisible for does she say that you’re probably hiding in his room. Now, you have to find a way to squeeze past them and magically phase through the door and into Peter’s room. Peter had just opened his door and called out your name when you felt like you had no choice but to reappear behind them. At least, you figured, you were out of Aunt May’s sight.

“Peter!” You say, pretending not to notice how not only Peter but Mr. Stark jumped at your voice. Mr. Stark looks at you suspiciously but you ignore him, focusing on the boy in front of you. You hug Peter in greeting and you hope that it does not feel like a goodbye hug. “Congratulation on the grant!”

“How’d you…?” Peter began, gesturing to his room.

“I…I had to pee and I overheard them talking and, well, congrats! I’m so proud of you. You should have told me!” You’re cursing at yourself because you just said you had to pee in front of Tony Stark.

“I, well, surprise,” Peter says, his voice falsely high with excitement.

“I’ll leave you two to hash it out.” Again, you curse at yourself because Tony Stark is definitely suspicious. You do not work well under pressure.

“Thanks,” Peter says and Mr. Stark gestures for the boy to enter his room first. “I’ll talk to you later.”

You watch as Mr. Stark closes the door and you let out a breath when you hear the click of Peter’s lock. You are just about to slip into Peter’s mind when Aunt May calls you to join her in the living room. She offers you a walnut date loaf before going on about how she hates it when Peter keeps secrets from her but is also ecstatic that Mr. Stark has chosen Peter.

“That boy is so smart,” Aunt May says, her shoulders relaxing. “Smarter than me, you know?”

“No one is smarter than you,” you say kindly because you know that although Aunt May no longer understands Peter’s science and math homework, there are still a lot of things she has the upper hand in.  

“Well, _duh._ But don’t let Tony hear you are else he might take back the grant.” Aunt May winks.

…

You are in Peter’s bedroom, hanging upside down from the top bunk, watching Peter pack all the things he needs for his trip to Germany. Aunt May is in her room, gathering the documents she needs to send to Mr. Stark so that Peter can get his passport. You watch Peter stuff t-shirts and jeans and his toothbrush into his backpack and you can see his lips moving as he mumbles to himself. Every so often, he looks over his shoulder to stare at you and you grunt as you lift yourself up to curl onto his bed, facing the wall. Peter wants to fix his Spider-Man gear and cannot do it with you watching him. You want to laugh because he thinks that he can be sneaky with you in the room.

You slip into his mind out of habit and listen to him list and check all the things he needs to bring, his conversation with Mr. Stark on replay at the back of his mind.

_“Who else knows? Anybody?” Mr. Stark asks._

_Peter is quiet. “…nobody…”_

_“Not even your unusually attractive aunt?”_

_“No…no. No. No. If she knew, then she would freak out and if she freaks out, I freak out…”_

_“What about the kid? The neighbor?”_

Your eyes widen at the memory and you immediately flip over to stare at Peter with wide eyes.

_Peter says your name and shakes his head. “Of course not.”_

_“Strange kid. Seems to disappear into air.”_

_“What?”_

_“You know what I think is really cool?”_

“Peter?” You say, your voice coming out in a rasp. You hear his thoughts, the conversation in his head, his focus on Mr. Stark’s comment about you. He is thinking about your interaction before he talked to Mr. Stark. He is telling himself his spidey sense should have sensed you were there.

“Yeah?” Peter says, voice distracted as he tries to zip up his backpack.

You think of telling him. Telling him how you know who he is and how much you do not want him to go. You saw Mr. Stark’s thoughts. You know how dangerous whatever is going to happen is going to be. You know Mr. Stark isn’t as confident as he usually is in battles.

“Have fun, okay? Bring me back a souvenir.”


	3. With Great Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All you wanted was for your parents to stop fighting and love you. Was that too much to ask from them? Apparently, because it takes accidentally (probably, maybe... what else were you supposed to do?) manipulating their memories for them to act like they wanted you in the first place. To make matters worse, Spider-Man finds out and you have to do something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 16 years old  
> Reader - 11 years old

You do not know if the war was in Germany or in your very own apartment. You thought you were watching the news with your parents, finding out about the airport the Avengers fought in and the damage they have done except the newscaster’s voice is nothing but background noise because all you can hear is your parents screaming at each other. You are not sure if they even remember that you are in the same room as them. You try to stay out of their heads. You do not want to know who slept with whom or who depleted nearly half the funds in whose bank account but despite your best efforts in blocking out their thoughts, their emotions, their anger and betrayal, seep into your mind without your permission. You want them to stop. You cannot take this anymore. The screaming. The avoiding. The quiet dinners and the slamming of doors. You think stop, shut up, just leave.

And they do. They stop.

It is quiet and you can hear the newscaster talking about the damages done to the cars in the parking lot, the whole building, really, and there is mention of a plane’s wing being torn off. You realize that you have been covering your face during the whole thing and when you drag your finger down your cheeks and look up at your parents, you see that they are frozen in front of you. Your father is pointing his finger at your mother and your mother looks like she’s about to tear her hair out.

It takes you longer than it should for you to realize that this is your doing. Their eyes are still able to move and you can see them straining to look at you in fear. You wonder how long you can keep them like this, paralyzed in their own bodies. You know that if— _when—_ you release them, you are going straight to Xavier’s. Or, at least, that’s what you hope is going to happen. Maybe they would even turn you to the authorities, get you locked behind bars for being able to do what you do.

You don’t want to leave Queens. You want to stay in your school full of regular students whose minds you can enter during exams and lab experiments. You want to be able to be able to rearrange the furniture in your room with just a flick of your wrist and some extra concentration. You have so much to look forward to with your powers. You want to stay with Aunt May and Peter. Gosh. You do not want to leave Peter behind at all.  

You are not sure if what you’re about to do is going to work. You could probably kill them if you did the wrong thing, but you tell yourself that surely you’re not that powerful. You have trouble convincing yourself and yet you enter your parents’ minds, your mother’s first and then your father’s, looking for a time when they were both in love and happy. You want to bring those feeling to the present, hoping that things will change after that. After much searching, jumping from one mind to the other, you come up empty. There was no love, only lust and regret. This whole pairing was not even supposed to happen and it is all because of you that you are all stuck in this miserable situation.

You stare at your parents in horror for a moment and think about what you should do next.

You could try to erase their memories, make them forget that this little incident ever happened.

Or… or you could make them believe that there is more to this relationship than regret and contempt.

…

Peter does not notice that he has not seen you in three days until he walks out the door to find your mother fusing over you. It is a strange sight—something he has definitely never seen before. You have your backpack’s straps clutched in both your hands and your mother is asking if you remembered to bring everything, your homework, your pencil case, your packed lunch. Your hair is combed away from your face at once and Peter sees that you’re wearing a headband. He startles in his place when your mother suddenly looks to him, smile on her face. He thinks it is rude for him to think that it looks incredibly out of place.

“Good morning, Peter,” your mother says pleasantly and Peter cannot ignore how intently you are staring at the back of her head as if you are watching her words.

“Ah… Good morning,” Peter says, clearing his throat. “Hi,” he says to you.

Your mother says your name in a sickly sweet and adoring tone and Peter has to make sure he isn’t making a face. “She needs to be off to school now,” your mother informs him. “Would you be a dear and walk her? I don’t want anything to happen to my little girl.”

“It’s fine, mom,” you say before Peter can reply. “MSST isn’t exactly on the way.”

Your mother looks disappointed. “I can drive—”

“I can walk her,” Peter suddenly interjects, something at the back of his mind urging him to intervene. “At least, until the bus stop?”

“That would be great.” Your mother smiles. She bends down to plant a big, wet kiss on your forehead and when Peter and you leave the apartment building, you are still trying to wipe the lipstick mark off.

“You’re going to rub away your skin if you keep doing that,” Peter says once they turn the corner, glancing down at you. You put your hand down with a huff and he sees that your forehead is red. He wants to make a comment on it but, at the moment, he cannot exactly gage your mood. _Pre-teens_ he thinks to himself and you want to scoff, hearing his thoughts loud and clear. You want to tell him that teenagers aren’t any better.

“Maybe I should get bangs,” you tell him.

Peter scrunches up his nose in thought and you catch a glimpse of his memory scrolling through his Twitter feed. “I hear that that’s never a good idea.”

“Who’d you hear that from?”

You see the image of a Tweet flash in Peter’s memory.

_I don’t know who needs go hear this right now but you do NOT need to get bangs._

“Someone who I feel has gone through a lot,” Peter says. You make a face at his thoughtful expression.

 _You would know all about that, huh?_ You think to yourself. “How’s your eye?” You ask him, changing the subject. “I heard you got beat up.”

“I didn’t get beat up,” Peter’s voice is high. “You should see the other guy.”

“Steve was it? Aunt May said he’s from Brooklyn.”

“Yeah… Steve,” Peter says distractedly and you see flashes of the fight go off in his head. You wish you could ask about it, how it was like getting his new Spider-Man suit and what happened when the little guy turned into a gigantic guy. You want to tell him how cool he is for holding his own against a bunch of superheroes when you remind yourself that Peter _is_ one of those superheroes. Even if only in their neighborhood. “What’s up with your mom, by the way,” Peter asks and you can tell that this has been bugging him since he walked out the door.

“Change of mind?” You say.

“Heart,” Peter corrects.

“What?”

“It’s ‘change of heart.’”

“Oh! Yeah, that one,” You cough.

…

Spider-Man is swinging through Queens, making one last patrol before he decides that he can retire for the night. He overshoots his bedroom window and accidentally finds himself sticking to the wall just right next to your living room window. The curtains are closed but the night breeze blows them open just a tad and allows Spider-Man to take a peek inside. He does not realize that he is being creepy until it is too late.

Your parents are in the living room, your father on the sofa and your mother in the chair right next to him. You are nowhere to be seen and Spider-Man thinks that maybe you have turned in for the night. It is nearly midnight, after all. Your parents look tired, harassed even. Your father is rubbing his eyes and your mother is combing through her hair with her fingers.

“That kid did something,” your father says, his voice hoarse.

“I don’t remember my mornings,” your mother tells him, her voice quiet and haunted. “Every morning is a blank. The first thing I remember is getting to work and when I get home, nothing. It’s only when she’s asleep that it’s like I come back to my body.”

“What do you suppose we do? Ship her off to that boarding school?”

“She could only get more powerful.” Your mother is afraid.

“But she’ll be away from us.”

“But what will happen when she comes back?”

“What if…we’re not here when she does?”

Spider-Man wants to stick around to listen in on their conversation more but the sound of your bedroom window opening startles him and he presses himself against the wall further when he sees you look outside. Your hair is blowing in the wind and you look down at the streets before looking both left and right. He is frozen when you catch sight of him and Spider-Man cannot seem to believe that the smile you are giving him is genuine.

“Hello,” you say to him, voice light and innocent in tone.

“H-Hi,” Spider-Man says and curses at himself for stuttering. Something about your gaze is off-putting and he thinks that no eleven-year-old should have that expression. “Just, y’know, patrolling. Everything looks to be in order here.”

“Yes, this building is safe.”

“Good. Well, I should be going,” he holds his arm out, ready to shoot out a web and swing away. “Got to make sure the streets are quiet and—”

Spider-Man shakes his head, lowering his hand. You are no longer at your window and he cannot for the life of him remember what he is doing outside your living room window. He does not even remember talking to you. He slowly crawls over to his window, sliding the glass open before sneaking into his bedroom. A voice at the back of his mind is telling him that something is off but the thought is quickly erased.


	4. Comes Great Responsibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... mind control is not as easy as you thought it would be. Who knew? You seem to be way in over your head and you think you are running out of options. Peter gets suspicious and you find yourself throwing him off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 16 years old  
> Reader - 11 years old

So you can erase memories now. Sweet. You tell yourself that you are not going to take advantage of this new found ability. You reason with yourself that you absolutely had to do it or else Peter would find out about what you can and have been doing. It does not matter that you said the same thing about all the other things you found out you can do. You promise yourself no more messing with Peter’s head!

You watch your mother clearing the table, smile on her face, while your father reads the paper. Your mornings have been a whole lot more peaceful since you have altered your parents’ memories, making them believe that they were in love and cared about you. You have to admit that you miss your time staying at the Parkers but you tell yourself that it is better for you to be with your family. After all, you cannot trouble Aunt May with raising another kid. You imagine it is hard enough worrying about Peter and his constant losing of backpacks and random bruises.

You are eating pancakes, each fluffy layer is drowned in syrup, when your mother drops the mug that she is holding. It smashes against the floor and both you and your father look at her, eyes wide with surprise. Your father opens his mouth, his eyebrows furrowed, and you are scared that he is about to yell at her. He used to always yell at her. You shift your gaze to him, prepared to use your powers, and you see that although his mouth hangs open, no words escape him. Instead, he lets out a disgruntled noise and looks confused. You look back at your mother and she looks frozen in her space, a smile still painted on her lips. She looks at you at that moment and you think she is going to apologize for startling you but she says nothing. You watch as a lone tears runs down her cheeks and you swear you can hear her mind screaming.

…

Peter is surprised to see you in his living room, hunched over your notebook, a history book to your right with a highlighter marking your page. He cannot remember the last time you have visited, he thinks that it was before he left for Germany, before your parents decided to be parents, and he realizes that he missed you. You do not acknowledge him when he walks through the front door and he thinks of surprising you, creeping behind you so that he could tickle your sides. He is just about to do that, shit eating grin playing on his lips, when you abruptly turn your head, scaring him instead.

“Whoa!” Peter shouts, falling onto the sofa behind him.

“Boy, you thought,” you say to him, smiling.

“How’d you know I was behind you?” Peter asks, putting his backpack on the floor next to you. “

“I’m not deaf,” you tell him with a roll of your eyes. “I could hear you.”

Peter pouts his lips. He could have sworn that he was being extra quiet, sneaking up to you as if he were Spider-Man about to take down an unsuspecting thug. He guesses that he still has much to work on in terms of stealth.

You are back to doing your homework, looking up from your notebook every so often to check your book. You highlight a line or two before going back to writing. Peter leans into the sofa and watches you work for a moment before he catches sight of your backpack on the plush chair and your shoes. Your backpack is bigger than usual, filled to the brim, and you are wearing sneakers. He thinks that your choice of footwear should not be strange to him but for as long as he has known you, you have only worn ballet slippers. One time, you had gotten blisters on your heels when Peter and you went to the grocery to run an errand for Aunt May. When Peter asked about your shoes, you had told him that you do not go anywhere except home or school. You did not exactly need shoes fit for long distance.

“Are you going somewhere?” Peter finds himself asking, thinking that you look ready to go on an expedition as soon as you are finished. You do not answer him right away and he thinks that you did not hear him. He says your name, trying to catch your attention.

“Maybe,” you tell him in a soft voice and Peter is left confused.

“You’re not sure?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“But you’re packed?”

“Just in case.”

“Just in case of what?”

Peter is definitely sure something this going on and he puts his hand on your shoulder, forcing you to look at him. He sees that you have circles under your eyes and the skin on your face is red as if you have been periodically scratching and picking at it. You gaze shifts slightly but he is firm in holding it. He says your name with a tone of warning. He thinks that he can only ever use this tone on you because he is older. (Briefly, he takes note to try to use it on a bad guy one of these days.)

“I don't know,” your voice is high and tight. You are uncomfortable. You are lying. “Just in case, y’know, I have to go.”

You look scared and Peter thinks that he has to be Spider-Man. “Is someone after you?”

You stare at him, eyes wide.

“Are you in trouble? Is it your family?” Peter continues to ask, not realizing that his grip on your shoulder is getting tighter. “It’s your dad, isn’t it? You know, I always thought he worked in some shady—”

“Peter!” You say and Peter feels his train of thought come to a complete halt as if it crashed into the station. He stares at your, this time his eyes are wide, and he wonders how one word from you was able to silence his mind. There is a beat of silence between you two and he thinks you look guilty, almost.

“I-I’m fine, Peter. No one is coming after me.” Your voice cracks and Peter cannot help that the words ‘not yet, at least’ hang in the air. He cannot explain why he feels that way. “I just… it’s complicated. But you don’t need to worry, okay?”

Peter does not trust you and he wants to push the matter further but his words do not come out. He cannot think of any words right now. It is like something is blocking him off. He breaks eye contact for a second, his hand leaving your shoulder to comb through his hair, and all of a sudden his mind clears and he is hit with the sounds of the streets below, how bright the light in the living room is, and how humid the air is with the window closed. The rush of his senses gives him a migraine and he has to lie down for a second to gather his bearings.

What just happened?

Did his senses just dull? How is it possible that he went from eleven to maybe a four?

“I’m sorry…”

“What?” Peter asks, barely hearing you. His mind is in a panic. Did his powers go away? That’s not possible is it? His DNA changed from the bite! It couldn’t just change back… could it?

“I… I just asked if you’re okay.”

“Yeah…yeah…just give me a second,” Peter blinks, trying to adjust to the light. “It’s just a migraine. I think, maybe, my crap sleep schedule is catching up with me.”

“Oh, I guess that means I can’t ask for help with my algebra homework?”

Peter looks at you and you have a small, uneasy smile on your lips. You are obviously trying to change the subject and tonight, only tonight, Peter lets you get your way.

…

You tell yourself this needs to stop. You are doing nothing but bringing harm to people with your powers. You are a danger to everyone around you.

The library’s lights are shut, shrouding all the books and tables in darkness, yet you could see Sandy’s face through the city’s lights seeping through the window. You have locked the door but your paranoid mind made you move the closest bookshelves and tables to barricade it, making sure that no one, if there was anyone still in the building, was getting into the room easily.

It was an accident.

You did not mean to hurt her.

You just slipped into her mind and looked through her memories. You just wanted to know what she had planned for her chemistry project and her history presentation and her art portfolio. It was all in good fun. You just wanted some ideas. Maybe borrow some of hers. Sandy is so smart. She can come up with a new one without any effort.

You think it is karma.

You definitely had it coming for you.

This is what you get for finding out Spider-Man’s secret, for brainwashing your parents, for cheating off Sandy’s tests.

This is what you get for being a mutant.

If the police bust in, guns up and ready to shoot, you think you won’t fight back. Maybe they would go easy on a minor. You are just eleven, after all. You are going through the beginnings of puberty with all its awkward and anxious and emotional glory. You do not know any better.

Or your parents could snap out of the daze you have put them in, testify against you, and you will have a one-way ticket to The Raft.

Sandy’s is staring at you with glassy eyes and blood dripping down her nose.

The only assurance you have that you did not kill her is the slow rise and fall of her chest. But even so, you feel a panic.

In the silence of the library, Sandy’s phone goes off, vibrating against the table, and you see that it is her mother. You look Sandy over, taking in her appearance. Her neatly combed hair, clear, healthy skin, and fashionable yet conservative clothes. You imagine that she is sheltered and loved and that her mother is the type to demand a search party if her daughter is not back before curfew.

You realize that barricading yourself in the library is stupid because now you do not know how you are supposed to get out. You know you could easily move the shelves and tables out of the way but your panicked mind is not thinking straight. You imagine that the moment you open the door, Mrs. Lee and police will be waiting for you on the opposite end, ready to cuff you.

You tell yourself you are not going to let that happen.

You look to the window and see the city outside, bright lights and noisy. You pick up your backpack, shoulders sagging at the weight, and you make sure your shoes are tied before you pick up the globe with your mind along with the nearest desktop computer. It takes no effort at all to smash them through the window, breaking it. You look back at Sandy and see that she has not moved.

“I’m sorry,” you tell her because that is all you could say. “I won’t do it again.”

No one follows you on your way home but you keep your mind open, listening to the thoughts of everyone around you, just to make sure. You hear Spider-Man’s thoughts two streets away and you make it to your window before he does, slipping in, locking it, and pulling the curtains closed.


	5. The Secret’s Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe you should come clean to Peter. Maybe he can help. He did know superheroes, right? Maybe they can do something. Or maybe you could just let Peter figure things out and have him talk to you about it. Seems like a better option. Better yet maybe you can just build a LEGO Death Star.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 16 years old  
> Reader - 11 years old

You remember something like this happening when you were younger (not like that was saying much). You had been locked out of your apartment, neither of your parents were home, and you were crying because you were hearing voices and thoughts that were not your own. Your mind was filled with thoughts about taxes, not being able to pay the rent, and student loans among other things you should not be thinking about at your age. You were overwhelmed with thoughts and worries about marriage, job hunting, an incomplete thesis, and the disaster when the Triskelion collapsed. You were in the middle of a mental breakdown, too much input that you had no way of understanding, when Aunt May found you. She quietly and gently led you into her apartment and bundled you up in a warm, fluffy blanket. You pulled the blanket over your head to use as a hood and you held in your sobs as Aunt May busied herself in the kitchen. It did not take her long before she gave you a mug of hot cocoa and asked for your mother’s phone number so that she could call her.

You were in the middle of your second mug when Peter came into the living room. Aunt May had ushered him into the kitchen to tell him about you and before you knew it, you and Peter were watching Star Wars on an old portable DVD player. Ever since that day, you would frequent the Parkers to hang out with Peter, watch him tinker with the computer he built from the parts he would find in dumpsters, and eat the sometimes questionable food Aunt May would prepare. The voices in your head never went away but you found that if you would focus on Aunt May or Peter, the voices would become nothing but soft murmurs at the back of your head.

It has been about a week since the incident at the library and Sandy has yet to wake up from her coma. At least, that is what your teachers have told you and your classmates. You do not exactly know the details and, frankly, you do not care to know. You left your mind shattering mind meddling days behind you the moment you went three days without the police banging on your door and decided that you would just do innocent mind picking, slipping into people’s heads and reading their thoughts. You had great power, you were not going to stop using it entirely.

You think about coming clean about your powers. Clearly, they are too much for you to handle and you need some help. You think about telling Peter first. You think he would be the only one who would really understand. After all, he was not exactly normal either. But then you think that he would realize what you did to your parents, and to him, and then to Sandy Lee, and you tell yourself that maybe it is better to just not hide your powers and let Peter figure it out on his own. Ease him into it.

He is a smart kid.

Kinda.

If he isn’t so busy obsessing over whether or not Happy was going to call him back with a mission.

Maybe you are giving him too much credit.

After all, he has yet to figure out your crush on his. Something else you did not particularly try to hide. You think, why else would you be hanging out at his place nearly every day, begging him to tutor you?

You are curled up on the living room sofa, empty mug in your hands, mulling over your dilemma of whether or not you should just lift Peter up to his ceiling with your mind as a way of telling him when there is a knocking on the door.  Aunt May answers it, wiping her hands on her apron, and in comes Ned Leeds.

“Peter isn’t home yet,” you tell him exactly the same thing Aunt May said at the door when he stands in front of you, LEGO Death Star in his hands.

“He’s still at the Stark Internship?” Ned asks even though he already knows the answer.

“Isn’t he always?” You say and you wince at your tone.

Ned nods his head as if he did not notice. “Cool. You want to help me piece this together in Pete’s room?”

You want to tell him that you’re not allowed in Peter’s room when he’s not there but instead you say, “Isn’t that done already?”

Ned grins and cautiously turns the Death Star around to show you that it is far from complete.

…

You like being in Ned’s head. His thoughts are pretty light, often focused on whatever it is he is interested at the time, and you find it refreshing that while the both of you are putting together the Death Star, Ned is thinking about nothing but the Death Star. Sometimes his mind will hum iconic themes from the movies and a quote or two would flash but nothing distracts you from your task. You like it. Peter’s mind nowadays seems to jump from whatever it is Peter Parker has to be concerned about to whatever it is Spider-Man has to be concerned about. Plus, girls. Ned thinks about girls, too, but Peter thinks about _a_ girl and you do not like being in his mind when that happens.

“So your school was on the news,” Ned says as he tries to find wiggle a particular piece in a hard to reach place.

“Ah, yeah, something happened to a classmate of mine,” you say and you are proud that your voice does not waver. It is probably because although you like Ned, he is not exactly your friend so you do not mind lying to him.

“You know anything about it?”

“No more than you do.” You gesture for Ned to give you the piece he is struggling with and you put it in its place without problem.

“Kids and their tiny, little hands,” Ned barely mumbles.

“I’m not going to help you if you keep calling me ‘kid,’” you say although you pick up another piece. “I’m only five years younger than you.”

“Five years is a lot.”

“Not when we’re, like, I don’t know, ten years older.”

“Ten years, huh? That’s how long you’re gonna wait for Peter to actually notice you?”

You freeze and briefly wonder if maybe Ned can read minds, too.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It’s all cool. Isn’t it normal for girls to crush on the ‘older guy,’” Ned uses air quotes, the Han Solo minifigure tucked under his left ring and pinky finger. “Peter’s a great guy—100% understandable why you’re gaga over him.”

“You’re not setting me up with him, are you?” You wag the Princess Leia minifigure in his face.

“God, no. You’re a kid. You’re better off pining, moving on to someone your age, give up, wait those ten—actually, make it at least fifteen—years, and _then_ I’ll set you guys up,” Ned said, cheeky grin on his face.

“Can’t wait,” you say putting Princess Leia in some random spot before getting back on your feet and climbing the bunk bed.

“Hey!” Ned says, watching you go up.

“I said I wouldn’t help you if you called me kid again.” You stick out your tongue and scrunch up your nose.

Ned grumbles but is quick to go back to his work, his mind going back to all things Star Wars. You know he does not particularly care that you gave up. He would happily finish the set alone if he had to. And frankly, you think that is how it is going to go seeing as Peter, or Spider-Man, was not going to be home any time soon.

A silence falls and you play with the ends of your hair as you listen to the Star Wars soundtrack play in Ned’s head. You think that maybe this silence should be comfortable but you hear something at the back of his head, nagging. It does not take you long to realize what it is. You turn to stare down at Ned from the top bunk, watching him as he pieces together the Death Star with speed and efficiency, and wonder how much this boy knew.

“You have theories, don’t you?” You say, startling him. He looks up at you, surprise clear as day on his face, and you see that he was just about to place a Stormtrooper somewhere in the Death Star. “About what happened in my school?”

“How did you?” He shakes his head and you know that he thinks that he was probably being too obvious with his curiosity. “What? _Pfft._ No…,” Ned scoffs, twisting the Stormtrooper’s arm. “…I just think that maybe, just maybe, you have like a Jedi in your school.”

“A… jedi.”

“You know those Jedi mind tricks? I think someone with like some unhuman power messed with that girl’s head. Like, the force or something.” Ned speaks in a rushed whisper as if afraid that someone would be able to hear the conversation. “It just makes sense, you know? Especially with all the freaky stuff that has been happening recently.”

You want to tell him that the term he is actually looking for is “mutant,” but you think that you would just be giving yourself away.

“Makes sense, I guess,” you say, climbing down the bunk bed to return to your old seat on the floor. “If you had the force and, like, you could do Jedi mindtricks, would you use them for good or for evil?”

“Good, of course.” Ned says immediately before pausing in thought. You focus on your side of the Death Star, ignoring his train. “Wait. If I convince everyone in my school that I’m part of the popular crowd, would that be bad?”

“Are you hurting anybody?”

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Then you’re probably not using it for _evil_ but it is a selfish thing to do, I think.”

“But what if I use my popularity for the good of the people?”

You probably should have paid attention to Ned’s train of thought because you are not following the words that are coming out of his mouth. “And how are you going to do that?”

“Well, you see…”

…

You probably should have heard Spider-Man’s thoughts before he even reached the apartment building but you were so focused on playing mind games with Ned (“Stay out of my mind!” he would say as you would make another ‘guess’ at what he was thinking and you could not believe that he has not figured it out yet) that you were both caught by surprise when Peter’s window slid open from the outside and Spider-Man, or rather, Peter because he is no longer wearing his mask, crawled across his ceiling, webbing his door shut before softly landing on the floor. You are not quite sure why you are as awestruck as Ned. You think it is because you have never actually seen Peter do anything as Spider-Man in person.

When Peter turns around and sees the two of you on his bed, you think back to about an hour and thirty minutes ago when you were in the living room and Ned invited you to help build the Death Star. You should have told him you were not allowed in Peter’s room because now, now Ned knows Peter’s Spider-Man, and Peter and Ned know you can control things with your mind as you stop the Death Star you and Ned worked so hard on from crashing to the floor.


	6. Midnight Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter finds out about your powers and Ned is sworn to secrecy to keep Aunt May from freaking out and you out of juvy. Maybe. You still do not know the repercussions of using your powers to manipulate people's minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 16 years old  
> Reader - 11 years old

Peter cannot even begin to process the floating Death Star in his room when Ned stands to his feet, knocking the globe to the side. Your hands are raised, as if you were holding the Death Star in your grasp but it is hovering in front of you as if it were actually in space, the Emperor Palpatine minifigure staring at him. Peter thinks that Ned is going to bring up your powers, but instead he says in a soft, awestruck voice, “You’re the Spider-Man… from YouTube.”

Peter taps the spider on his chest and feels his suit jump off his skin. “I’m not,” he says even though there is no point in denying it. “I’m not,” he tries again, the suit falls to the floor. The Death Star crashes on the ground, causing Ned and him to jump and when they look at you, your hands are covering your eyes.

“What was that?” Peter hears Aunt May call from outside and he swears he might have a heart attack if she comes into the room to investigate.

“Ah! It’s nothing! Nothing!” Peter panics.

“You were on the ceiling,” Ned says, pointing up. He seems to only be able to focus on Peter right now.

“No, I wasn’t. Ned what are you doing in my room?” Peter sees you’re peeking through your fingertips. “You, too! I said you can’t come in here.”

“May let me in. You said we were going to finish the Death Star!”

“You can’t just bust in—”

The door cracks open and in comes Aunt May, fanning herself with a kitchen rag. Behind her, Peter sees smoke coming out of the recipe. She looks a little bit flustered.

“That turkey meatloaf recipe is a disaster. Let’s go to dinner,” Aunt May laughs, unclipping her hair. She turns to you and Ned, inviting you both to join her and Peter.

Ned is quick to accept the invite but Peter says otherwise, coming up with an excuse. A poorly made one. He has not been having the best night at making excuses. He makes note to do better next time or else the entire world is going to find out who he is.

“Okay…,” Aunt May says, hand on the doorknob, ready to close it.  “Maybe put some clothes on. Come on, Peter. There’s a girl in your room.”

The door closes and Ned is back to questioning Peter.

“She doesn’t know?”

“Nobody knows!” Peter’s voice is high. He’s scrambling to put on the nearest shirt and he sees that you are slowly putting your hands back down on your lap, eyes on him. He ignores the tinge of color on your cheeks. “I mean…Mr. Stark knows because he made my suit but that’s it.”

“Not even her?” Ned jerks his thumb at you and you actually look surprised.

“I didn’t tell anybody!”

Ned looks at you. “You didn’t know?”

You look at Peter guiltily and Peter feels his heart drop to his stomach. “I… may have known. A little. Just a tad…”

“You knew?” Peter asks, his voice nearly at a pitch that only dogs could hear.

“Jedi mind tricks,” Ned says and Peter wonders how his best friend is able to stay calm through all this. He cannot even hear his own thoughts from how loud his heart is beating. “Good or evil?”

“I—” you cut yourself off and Peter sees that you’re looking at him as if you do not want him to hear. He is taken aback by your expression and would be lying if he said he did not feel betrayed.

“So you _were_ looking into my mind,” Ned says without missing a beat. “I _knew_ it.” He looks back at Peter with a gasp as if he just realized something very important. “Are you an Avenger?”

Peter is caught off-guard. “Yeah, basically.”

This admission causes Ned to hold onto his bunk bed for support. Peter thinks that all the information he is gathering is finally catching up to him. He wonders when he will be able to process everything.

“You cannot tell anybody about this. You have got to keep it a secret.”

“Secret? Why?”

“If she finds about how people try to kill me every single night she’s not going to let me do this anymore!” Peter’s voice is cracking as if he is going through puberty all over again. “Come on, Ned. _Please.”_ Peter turns around and looks at you with pleading eyes. “You, too.”

You hold your hands up in defense. “I’ve been keeping all this to myself for six months.”

“Okay…  Okay okay okay okay. I’ll level with you. I don’t think I can keep this a secret.”

Peter begs Ned not to say anything, he does not want to put Aunt May through anymore worry and hardships, and you think that maybe you should step in, convince Ned to keep quiet. Maybe even meddle but you remember the last time you tried to manipulate someone’s mind and you keep quiet. It was enough that you were keeping Ned’s focus off of you and on Peter. You did not think Ned could handle processing both of your powers at the same time. Peter is an easier target; he is his best friend. You are just the girl next door who happened to be a mutant. You think that after a day of coming into terms that Peter and Spider-Man are the same person, Ned would question you next, know all the ins and outs of your powers. You hope that when that time comes, Peter is around to hear it so you do not have to repeat yourself.

Ned begins a barrage of questions once he swears himself to secrecy and you watch as Peter tries to push him out of his room, promising to answer all his questions in school. Ned is nearly out the door when he turns his attention to you. You had released your power from his mind and Ned is now thinking about the floating Death Star.

“Do I have to keep yours a secret, too?”

“I… may go to jail if you let anything slip,” you say uneasily and Peter looks at you, mouth hanging open.

“No…,” Ned seems to piece together the pieces quickly. “ _You_ did that?”

“It was an accident!”

“But—”

Aunt May saves you by asking if Peter is ready for dinner.

…

You hear Peter’s thoughts about visiting your room thirty minutes before he finally convinces himself to crawl out his window and knock on yours. You are waiting for him, sneakers laced up and backpack waiting on the floor under your window. The night breeze is blowing his curls into his face and you let him in, standing aside so that he could flip into your bedroom, feet landing softly on your carpeted floor. He looks you over and gives you a small smile that does not reach his eyes.

“Going somewhere?” He asks, taking in your pajamas and sneakers ensemble. He is starting to think you never take off your shoes except to change your socks.

“That depends…are the Avengers going to come after me?” You say, hoping your tone is light enough to be taken as a joke.

“I won’t rat you out,” Peter tells you, his voice strong like he is making a promise. You do not dwell into his mind to find out that he thinks that even if he does call them, no one would come. The fight in Germany seems so long ago now. “Just, fill me in a little, okay? I feel like Ned knows more than I do and I live right next door.”

“I didn’t tell him anything. He is just quick to figure things out— I-I’m not saying you aren’t, of course. You’ve just been really busy is all and, like, why would you even think about your kid neighbor who apparently has powers?” You feel like Peter just hours ago, voice high and cracking. “I wanted to tell you, really, but I never found the chance and didn’t know how. I’m sorry.”

Peter lets out a breath. “No, it’s fine. I know what I you mean. So… I did some thinking over eating larb—”

“Larb?”

“—and I realized that all the signs were in front of me and I’m an idiot. Your parents… they didn’t just suddenly decide to like you one day—damn, I sound like a total ass.”

“No…no. You’re right. That was me,” you say picking at the bottom button of your pajama top.

“And the incident at your school?”

“Total accident, I swear.”

“The cookies from the cookie jar?”

“…practice…?”

Peter runs a hand through his hair. “Right…right. How about when Mr. Stark visited to talk about the internship?”

“I was in the room…”

Peter sits down on your bed with a hefty plop causing one of your stuffed animals to fall on the floor. “Have you… have you done anything to me?” Your silence is answer enough and Peter does not know where to go from there. He is not Spider-Man right now so he cannot exactly web you up and turn you to the authorities (because, if he was being honest, he thinks messing with people’s brains is probably against the law somewhere). Frankly, he does not want to. He understands what it is like to suddenly find out that you can do thinks no normal person can. He remembers the confusion and the panic, the times when his powers just would not do as he says. But he thinks that he has never brainwashed people or sent them to the hospital.

“Is there any way for you to reverse it?” He asks and you know he is talking about his memories and helping Sandy. You look at him and you think you might just cry. You never wanted any of this to happen. You were just excited about your abilities and did whatever you felt like doing because you can. You did not expect to take any responsibility for your actions.

“If I knew, I would have done something by now,” your voice breaks and you wipe the tears form your eyes before they can slip down your cheeks. You can hear Peter’s thoughts and you know he feels guilty about making you cry but he reasons with himself that as your friend and an (maybe) Avenger, he needs to know all that he could. You try to lighten the mood in the room in fear that you might suffocate with how heavy the air has gotten. “You don’t happen to have Scarlet Witch saved in your phone, do you?”


	7. The Voice in your Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You think that the voice in your head is from the future and Peter and Ned go to a party before Spider-Man tells you that he was nearly vaporized. Just a normal night in Queens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 16 years old  
> Reader - 11 years old

You think that you are handling the situation better than you should be. You think to yourself that maybe this is it, you are a mature individual and you can take on the world, solve your problems and live your life without giving a single (you whisper in your head) fuck. But then you remember that you are in middle school and the people around you either gossip about every single breathing creature that lurks the hallway or the drama happening in the latest episode of their favorite Netflix show (sometimes you think they are one in the same) and they speak a language that you only see used in internet memes.

If you hear another _yeet_ you swear you are going to _yeet_ that person out the window.

You think that your mind is probably absorbing the energies of the adults around you. Your history teacher seems like a calm and collected individual and you think maybe it is a good thing your mind is patterning after him but then you remember that you once caught him tearing up over a Korean drama he was watching on his cellphone during lunch and you think that maybe your mind should focus on someone else’s energy.

You are getting better at controlling the voices in your head, pushing away the thoughts of those that do not matter and refraining from staying too long in the minds that you find yourself slipping into when you do not realize it. There has been news that Sandy Lee is showing signs of recovery and you feel yourself relax, hoping that when she finally wakes up, she shown no signs of your meddling.

Sometimes, when you are all alone, you hear the voice in your head speak to you as if it did not belong to you. The voice sounds older, as if she has seen some shit and probably never recovered, and you listen to her.

This is the voice that speaks to you when you use your powers, instructing you on what to do. There was a time when you thought that this voice was your instincts but you do not think that you can be this powerful on your own and the idea that maybe you have somehow connected your consciousness to the you in the future starts to make more sense day by day.

You are fiddling with a Rubik’s cube you found in Peter’s bedroom as Ned eagerly convinces the young hero that going to Liz Toomes’ party is a good idea. You do not know how the two of them got invited to the popular girl’s house party and you refrain from looking into their minds to find out why. You promised them both that you would stop slipping in without permission and you are not about to break your promise. Yet. You think you will give them some time to relax around you again before you try lurking in their minds.

You are hanging upside down on Peter’s top bunk and you wish you could will Peter to stay home with your stare. It is Friday night and you hoped that maybe you could all have a movie night before you have to start studying for your art history exam next Monday. You want to ask Aunt May to help you convince the boys to stay but you know that she is all up for Peter and Ned to go out for the night. In fact, she is waiting in the living room, keys in her purse, so that she could drive them to Liz’s place.

“Just think about it, dude. If Spider-Man makes an appearance and establishes that we are friends with him, we’re are going to be _popular_ ,” Ned says the word as if it is the most magnificent thing in the world. “Flash might finally leave you alone and Liz could very well fall in love with you.”

Peter freezes, his white shirt barely pulled over his stomach, and you refrain from staring at him.

“Maybe... maybe I could put on the suit,” Peter says, lifting his shirt over his head so that he could put the Spider-Man suit underneath his clothes. “Y’know, just… just in case.”

“Sweet! Yes!” Ned cheers, clutching his fist and swinging it down in a triumphant motion. He catches your glare and grins when he sees that you are frowning at him. Ned knows about your crush on Peter and you hate him a little bit for succeeding in encouraging Peter to go to the party. Was there no loyalty in this group? Ned holds up one finger on one hand and five fingers on the other. You roll your eyes at him and let out a huff of annoyance.

“Can I come to the party?” You ask as you point towards a plaid shirt in Peter’s closet. He holds it up to you and when you nod your head, he slips his arms through it, tugging it down to make sure it fits over his shirt properly before he begins to button it up halfway.

“We want people to think we’re cool.” Ned says your name in a tone that makes you think of parents trying to get their children to understand why they could not buy a toy even if they said please. “We can’t babysit you and be cool at the same time.” If you did not know Ned any better and have not spent your fair share of time in his mind, you would have thought he was patronizing you. It seems like going up the food chain just really matters to him.

“I don’t need to be babysat,” you say, tossing the Rubik’s cube in the air before using your powers to carefully place it on Peter’s table. You hear Ned praise your powers under his breath. “I actually think someone needs to keep an eye on the two of you.”

“Although I may agree to that on some level,” Ned says, “We need Flash off our backs.”

You have seen Flash in both the boys’ minds before and you can already tell them that you do not like him one bit. “Ugh,” you groan, flipping off Peter’s bed and landing on his floor with a thump. You see Peter shoot you a smug look from his place by his closet. “ _Fine._ Can I still ride in the car though?”

…

“Why did you bring your backpack?” Ned asks, shifting in his seat to push your backpack closer to your side of the car. Aunt May is driving down the street to Liz’s house and Peter is too busy looking out the window to pay attention to you and Ned.

“Because you never know when you need to bolt,” you say to him in a tone that is supposed to sound sarcastic to Aunt May but serious to the other two. “If you can find a way to put all my things into, I don’t know, a utility belt, I’m all for it.”

“Don’t tempt me. What if I tell you I have Ant-Man on speed dial?”

“Yeah, sure, and I have sleep overs with Thor and we braid each other’s hair.”

“What a coincidence! So do I!”

You and Ned burst out laughing just as Aunt May slows down in front of Liz’s house.

“House party in the suburbs,” Aunt May says, her tone impressed at the sight of the Toome’s house. You feel your jaw drop at how massive it is and you wonder how life would be like if you could afford nice things. “Aww…I remember this. Kinda jealous!”

“It will be a night to remember,” Ned says, chuckling.

You feel the voice at the back of your head, the older you, and you wince. The voice is telling you that going to the party is a bad idea but you cannot imagine why. _You’re_ not going to the party. Ned and Peter—oh.

“This is a mistake,” Peter breathes out and you wonder if he senses the same thing the voice in your head does. “Hey, let’s just go home. Have a movie night, you know?”

“Dibs! ‘How to Train your Dragon,’” you automatically say, squeezing Aunt May’s chair’s head rest.

Aunt May knits her brows together and you know that neither you nor Peter are going to get your way. “Aw… Peter. I know. I know it’s really hard…trying to fit in with all the changes your body is going through…”

Peter laughs uncomfortably and you hold in a groan. He is going to bolt out of this car faster than Tony Stark’s fastest jet. He unbuckles his seatbelt and he and Ned open their doors at the same time, your backseat buddy leaving you behind.

“Peter. Have fun, okay?” Aunt May tells him and before Peter can close the door, you push yourself through the small gap between the front seats.

“Take care, okay?” You say to Peter and you hate that you cannot put a warning in his mind, give him a nagging voice to keep him alert.

Peter smiles at you softly and you almost melt into the passenger’s seat. He puts his hand on your head and messes your hair up a bit. “Don’t worry. I know the rules. No drugs, no drinks, no sex.”

“No girls!” You say as he walks away from the car.

“No promises!” He yells back at you, grin on his face, as Ned waves you and Aunt May goodbye from the driveway. Aunt May steps on the gas and you watch as Liz Toome’s house disappears from view.

“Geez, you sound like a mother,” Aunt May tells you in a teasing voice once she turns the corner. You slump into your seat, buckling your seatbelt. “It’s just a party. Even I’m not worried and I’m the adult.”

“You never know with high school parties. Something could blow up,” you say, pouting.

“And I take it you’ve been to a whole lot of parties in your time?”

“Oh! A bunch!” You force yourself to grin and you push the voice in your mind to the back of your head. You want to listen to her, you really do, but you think about all the times you did listen and it resulted in a bad decision. For tonight, you tell yourself, you are going to trust Peter. “I can tell you all about it while we buy popcorn for movie night.”

…

“I take it you and Ned aren’t the new coolest kids on the block?” You say when Spider-Man wings towards the wall beside you, sticking to it with no effort. You leaning out your bedroom window, already dressed in your pajamas, and you look into Spider-Man’s eyes, listening to the sounds it makes when he squints at you.

“What do you think?” He says in a defeated tone.

“What happened? They didn’t believe you’re the real thing?” You try to sound sympathetic, really. You cannot imagine how it must feel like to be picked on by your classmates for simply being yourself.

“I didn’t make an appearance, actually. Got caught up.” Spider-Man holds up a broken, metal device with what looks like a glowing purple rock inside of it. You look at him, brows raised, wondering if he expects you to know what it is. “You told me before I left to take care. Tell me, are you hiding the fact that you can predict the future from me? Because if we are still keeping secrets from each other, I got to say, I feel hurt.”

You frown at him. “Did something happen?”

“Someone tried to vaporize me with this.”

“WHAT—”

“Shh shh shh!” Spider-Man cover’s your mouth with his hand, the whites of his eyes are blown up, almost taking up the entirety of his mask. “What are you doing? You want to wake the whole building up?”

“What am I doing? What are _you_ doing?” You hiss at him through behind his hand before you realize that he probably cannot understand a word you say. You try to pull his hand off but he is stuck. You glare are him.

“Oops.”

“I thought you were at a party!” You whisper-yell at him.

“I was!” He whisper-yells back.

“Someone at the party tried to vaporize you?”

“No, but, you see, there was this explosion a few blocks away—”

“And you thought it was great idea to go to it?”

“What was I supposed to do?”

“Uh, go to the party and do some backflips to make yourself and Ned cool?”

“I’m Spider-Man. I’m not some clown that does party tricks. I had to investigate. What if someone got hurt?”

You want to yell-yell at him, to ask him what would happen if he got hurt, but you know that you are just asking for an argument that is going to lead you both nowhere. You scowl at him and with the way his eyes squint back at you, you know Peter is not exactly happy either. You think back to the time when neither of you knew about each other’s powers, a time when you worried about Peter in silence. You are starting to think that it was a more peaceful life, Peter thinking that you know nothing. Somehow, someway, his ignorance was your bliss.

“Yeah, okay, fine. Superhero priorities. Whatever,” you say with a huff. “If you get vaporized for real, I’m telling Aunt May and she is going to kill you.”


	8. Cartoons and Trackers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You think Peter's bad guys are from a cartoon and Peter thinks that he can do more than what Mr. Stark thinks he can handle. Both of you are wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 16 years old  
> Reader - 11 years old

You wonder if you are in a better situation than you were in half a year ago.

You stopped controlling your parents’ minds and after a day of recuperation (which basically involved them sleeping through probably the worst headache in their lives) they went back to their usual routine, seemingly as if nothing ever happened. Your mother’s face returned to her trademark stern expression and your father still stays out late with his friends. You think that maybe things have gone back to normal. Or, your family’s version of normal. It takes two days before you realize that your parents have not fought despite your influence no longer controlling them. You do not think that their relationship has improved since they have woken up. In fact, they avoid each other like the plague and it amazes you that they are able to do so in your small apartment. If they have had any sort communication since waking up, you think they had come to some sort of agreement that you do not exist. They do not acknowledge you when you walk into the room and seem to shift their eyes away when you look their way.

You think that things could be worse.

Sandy Lee has come back to school but you have yet to see her in person. The only indication of her being around is the crowd of students surrounding her, asking her if she is alright. You think that Sandy has never particularly been popular but now you wonder if you have accidentally propelled her up to middle school stardom. You are sure that your schoolmates will forever remember what happened to her.

“Can you bring these cookies to Peter and Ned?” Aunt May asks you, holding out a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies. The two of you decided to try your hands (and luck) at baking because cooking seemed to be a far off dream at the moment. Aunt May wanted to have another go at making walnut date loaf but you were able to convince her to do a cookie recipe that you found on Pinterest.

“Sure,” you say, wiping your hands on your apron. The kitchen is a mess, bowls and spoons piled up in the sink, and there is flour all over the table. You had accidentally turned the hand mixer on high in a bowl of flour and you wish you could have used your powers to contain the white explosion. You tell yourself that at least nothing caught on fire. Yet. There is still a second batch of cookies baking in the oven.

You twist the doorknob open with your mind and when you step into Peter’s room, you see that Ned is holding one of Spider-Man’s web shooters, a hologram shooting up from it.

“Close the door! Close the door!” Peter says, nearly falling out of the top bunk. You shut the door with your mind and place the cookies on the floor by Ned’s feet.

“I thought we locked it?” Ned looks up from the hologram and at Peter.

“I can control things with my mind, remember?”

“Ahhhh,” Ned says, picking up a cookie. “I think we should count ourselves lucky that you did not choose to use your powers for evil. How would you even fight a mind controlling villain—oh, Staten Island.”

“What's in Staten Island?”

“The guys who dropped me in a lake,” Peter says from above you.

“You were dropped in a lake?” You look at him, eyes wide.

“Right?” Ned says. “Iron Man’s suit saved him.”

“Just his suit?” You shake your head. That is not what you should be focusing on. “Why are you tracking the guys who dropped you in a lake?”

“To know where they’re going,” Peter says rolling his eyes and grinning at you. “They might have an evil lair or something.”

“Like in cartoons? Like Doofenshmirtz?”

Ned lets out a sound of excitement. “They’re totally like Doofenshmirtz. They can, like, vaporize the entire Tri-state area! Wouldn’t it be so cool if they have a jingle?”

“You should have gotten their number before falling into a lake, Peter the Platypus,” you say, earning a laugh out of Ned. “We could have crank called them.”

Peter tries to scowl at you but he lets out a snort instead. “I’ll make sure to ask them next time. Hand me a cookie.”

“Can’t you just web them to yourself?” You ask but you lift a cookie up to him anyway, floating it to his hands.

“Have you ever tasted web fluid?” Peter makes a disgusted face.

“No. Have _you_?”

Ned lets out a gasp. “Guys. Oh my God. Tony Stark is totally Major Monogram.”

…

The voice in your head is getting louder by the second, which is something you did not think was possible. It has been nagging at you since Peter got on the bus to DC for the USAD and you tried your best to ignore it, you really did, but by the time Aunt May got a text from Peter saying that he and Ned have settled into their hotel room, you have had enough. You tell Aunt May that you are going to hang out in Peter’s room for a bit, you want to finish the LEGO set Ned left behind, and when hear the door click closed, you bring out your phone to call Peter

“Remember when you told me about your spidey-sense?” You say when Peter answers the phone.

“Yeah?” He says, his voice slightly muffled as if there is something in his mouth.

“Well, my Peter-senses are tingling.”

“Your what?” You hear Ned ask and you realize that Peter has put you on speaker.

“I’m getting the sense that you are doing something you shouldn’t be doing,” you say and the voice in your head rattles in agreement.

“Dude, she totally has some sort of telepathic tracker on you,” Ned says in a too loud whisper.

“Do you?” Peter asks and you can imagine him staring at his phone with both curiosity and suspicion.

“Not anymore.”

“What—”

“Ned, what is he doing?” You ask because you know that Ned loves to talk.

“He just removed Iron Man’s tracker from his suit,” Ned says slowly as if he is distracted by something.

“Why? Why did you do that?” The voice at the back of your head is screaming.

“Because I have to follow these guys to their boss before they move again.”

“There’s a ton of other subsystem in here, but they are all disabled by the Training Wheel Protocol,” Ned says with a laugh in his voice and you can tell what is going on through Peter’s head without having to read his mind.

“Turn it off,” Peter says.

“Don’t turn it off,” you say just as the voice in your head says the same thing.

Ned agrees with you and tells Peter that the subsystems are blocked for a reason.

“I’m sick of being treated as kid all the time. It’s not cool.” Peter sounds far away now.

“If you’re a kid, then what am I?” You find yourself saying.

Peter says your name, exasperation in his voice. “Listen, I’m going to hang up. Superhero business, you know?”

You feel your heart drop to your stomach. “Peter…”

You pull your phone away from your ear and see that Peter ended the call. “I so should have put a telepathic tracker on you,” you grumble, pocketing the device.

…

Maybe you should start listening to the voice in your head more when it warns you about Peter’s shenanigans before he even decides to do them. You are sitting on the sofa with Aunt May, feet tucked under you, as you both watch the news. There has been an accident at the Washington Monument involving the MSST’s decathlon team and an elevator. You think Aunt May is about to have a heart attack as she practically glues her eyes to the screen, scanning the background of the newscaster, looking for Peter.  

“I’m sure Peter’s fine,” you tell her because Spider-Man had saved the day.

“How do you know that?” Aunt May says, not removing her eyes from the TV.

“They said that none of the students got hurt,” you tell her. “Also, I don’t think Peter was with them.” You had gotten a text from Ned early that morning. He was asking you if you really did not have a telepathic tracker on Peter because the young hero had not returned to their room last night and was now MIA.

“That does not make me feel any better. If he wasn’t with them, then where is he now?” Aunt May stands up from her place and pulls out her cellphone. You can already imagine the conversation she is going to have with her nephew when, or if, he answers. You can only pray that Peter had not run out of good excuses.

…

You close your eyes and concentrate. You hear your parents’ thoughts coming from the living room as well as Aunt May’s in her bedroom. You hear Sandy Lee two floors down and the landlord. You hear the thoughts of the people on the street and the building two blocks away. You block all these thoughts out and focus on finding one person’s thoughts in particular. You reach out, your mind traveling outside Queen, outside Staten Island, and Maryland. You find your target on a bus going home from DC.

You recognize distracted, calculating thoughts. You see the events of the day in DC. You see the elevator and how close it was from falling out of his reach. You see Ned cheer and you see Liz’s eyes full of fear and hope.

_“Found you, Peter Parker.”_

Peter jumps in his seat, practically falling out, and Flash mocks him while Ned pulls him back up, looking at him with concern.

“You okay, man?” He asks but Peter is not listening.

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“It sounded like…,” Peter trails off and you can see the gears in his mind turning. He whispers out your name and you cannot help but let him know that he is correct.

_“Try to get rid of this tracker.”_


	9. The Split

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was supposed to be a relaxing ferry ride with friends turns into you and Spider-Man trying to save the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 16 years old  
> Reader - 11 years old

You and Peter are not on speaking terms.

It should have come to no surprise to you that Peter did not like you putting a telepathic tracker on him. You justified your actions, telling him that if Mr. Stark does not know where he is, then who will know if he is in trouble? You two exchange words that neither of you can take back. Peter says that you are nosy and meddlesome and annoying and, for someone who could read minds, should know when you are not wanted. You tell him that he’s a wannabe Avenger and was only called in because Mr. Stark was desperate and, because you are someone who could read minds, you know that Mr. Stark never planned on calling Peter back for missions. Of course, you were lying when you said that. You knew for a fact that Mr. Stark believed in Peter but you are so angry and hurt (and Peter is angry and hurt, too) that you just say things that you do not mean.

Needless to say, you have not visited the Parker Residence since then.

“I am so glad that this ride is free or I would be pissed,” your classmate, Joanna, says from your right, sliding her thumb across her cellphone, opening her camera. She flips the camera so that her face is on the screen and she holds it up while nudging your shoulder. She holds up a peace sign and sticks out her tongue and you, surprised by the sudden selfie cam, copy her pose.

“It’s not so bad, Jo,” Miles, another classmate, says in front of you. “We get to see some sights; you know?”

“Yeah, I see a whole lot of buildings and water,” Joanna rolls her eyes. “Nothing I can’t see from my apartment building.”

Miles looks over to you and makes a face. You smile at him, holding in your laughter. The three of you were not in the mood to go home after school was let out and it was Miles idea to ride the Staten Island Ferry. Joanna had expressed her displeasure at the idea, hating boat rides with a passion, but you opted to join Miles just so you could stay out a bit later. Not wanting to feel left out, Joanna ran after the two of you, acting as if she was doing you both a favor for joining.

There are many voices in your head right now, there are a lot of people on the ferry, but you force yourself to focus on Miles and Joanna. Joanna is thinking about a television series on Netflix, (Riverdale, was it?) while Miles is thinking about when he’s going to visit his Uncle Aaron next. He has some designs he wants to show him as well as some mixes he made the other day. You are tempted to ask if you could see some of his sketches, you know that it is in a journal in his backpack, but you keep quiet. You do not want to be nosy.

Miles calls out your name, bringing you out of your thoughts. “You okay over there?”

You see that he and Joanna are both holding cards in their hands and you have your own set on your lap. You pick it up and look over what you were dealt.

“Do you know how to play? Old Maid?”

You feel a smirk forming on your lips. “Of course.” You angle yourself in your seat so Joanna cannot see your cards.

“Why don’t we make this interesting, Morales?” Joanna says, looking at the boy.

“Loser has to present the group project next week?” Miles suggests. The three of you were grouped for a history project and you all divided the work equally amongst yourselves. The only thing left to decide was who was going to stand in front of the class and present.

“You’re on.” Joanna looks at you and asks if you agree with the punishment.

“You both know I hate public speaking,” you pick out the first pair in your hand. “I’m playing to win.”

Joanna tries to trick you and Miles into getting the Queen from her hand and Miles falls for it once or twice. You probably should not be cheating your friends like this but you really do not want to talk in front of all your classmates. You are a stuttering mess when all eyes are on you and you think either Miles or Joanna would do a better job. Joanna would state all the facts and be straight to the point while Miles would joke along the way. You would probably be too quiet to hear and burst out in tears halfway through.

You ignore the voice in your head, angry that its distracting presence almost cost you to get the Queen. Your Peter senses are going through the roof but you try to push them to the back of your mind because if Peter is doing something stupid then that is none of your business. Anyway, what could you even do to help? Even if you could control things and people with your mind, you are not exactly trained for combat and would probably just get in his way if he were in danger.

Miles is about to lose the game. Joanna is reaching for the card next to the Queen and you can see Miles stare at her hand, almost trying to control it so that it would go for the Queen. But she does not. She lifts up the Eight of Spades from his hand and is just about to turn it over when purple beams shoot out from the floor. The three of you automatically drop all your cards and run away from the beams to the other side of the boat. You stare as more beams shoot up, cutting through the floor and the ceiling before disappearing. You do not move a muscle. You stare down at the ground, seeing the burnt metal and you fear for the worst.

You hear it happen before you see it. You hear the sounds of metal giving way, being pulled apart, and water shooting up from downstairs. The ferry shifts, your side of tilting back, away from the cut, and you feel the gravity pushing you. You see Miles and Joanna are quiet amongst the screaming passengers, both watching the ferry split up in horror.

You hear the thoughts _I’m going to die_ multiple times in your head and you cannot help but think the same way. You hear Peter’s voice in your head, calculating what he should do, and you see a web zip through the crack before Spider-Man appears. You see him web several parts of the ferry, connecting the split parts together. You move towards him, ignoring Miles’s and Joanna’s calls, and you watch as Spider-Man tries to save the day.

 _Oh my God, Peter, what have you done._ Your thoughts reach out to him and you curse at yourself, scared that you might have distracted him. Spider-Man continues to do his job without pause.

 _I’m trying to keep people from dying._ Peter’s thoughts sound strained and you see him reach the end of the ferry, looping himself around several webs before shooting himself up and landing at the edge of the ferry. You can practically hear him catch his breath. _And I think I’m doing a pretty good job._

_One question. Did you do this?_

_No!_ Peter’s thoughts yell. _Not on purpose. It was the bird man’s alien weapon._

_What have you gotten yourself into Spider-Man?_

The man behind you cheers and begins to clap. You feel your heart drop to your stomach and your mind acts on its own. You feel your arms reach out just enough to use your full power but not enough to draw any attention to yourself. You stare at the wall in front of you and when the web closest to you snaps, you concentrate on holding both halves of the ferry together.

You struggle.

A lot.

You are not trained to support something of this magnitude. Your mind feels like it is going to explode and your body feels like the ferry is pulling it rather than the other way around. More webs begin to snap and you almost scream out in pain. You beg Peter to do something quick.

You hear his voice in your head, your name is whispered in his mind but it brings you no comfort because Goddamn why are ferry’s so heavy?!

 _Are you doing this?_ Peter asks. _I feel like the split should be happening a lot faster._

_Jesus, Peter, do something because I can’t hold on another second!_

_Right! Right! Oh my God. Just keep doing that!_

You feel your grip on the ferry release and you force yourself to hold on again but you are too late. The ferry is splitting further apart and, in the distance, you see Spider-Man hanging onto two web lines, keeping the ferry from falling apart.

_I got this. I got this. I got this._

_Peter!_

_Shh shh shh!!! I’m concentrating!!!_

You think you are going to cry because it looks like Spider-Man cannot hold on for much longer less he tears himself in half. You want to tell him to give up, to not hurt himself, but another voice slips into your mind.

_This damn kid lied to me._

It’s Iron Man.

…

“I have to say, I’m sort of disappointed that you’re not shocked to see me,” Tony Stark says, holding onto the teddy bear you had on your bed when you left home early that day. You have to say that this is a strange sight, seeing a billionaire sitting on your floral sheets and moving the arms of your stuffed animal as if trying to make it dance. You close the door behind you but do not take another step closer. “Let me guess, you knew I was here?”

“Your thoughts are very loud, Mr. Stark,” you tell him, raising your hand to summon your teddy bear to you. Mr. Stark raises is eyebrows, mildly surprised at your trick.

“So you were the one who helped Spiderling with the ferry,” Mr. Stark says, standing up.

You frown at him. “I don’t think you can count what I did as help.”

“That boat would have gone down a lot faster if you didn’t do your…mind… things,” Mr. Stark pauses, clasping his hand together before pointing at you. “Tell me, how are you able to do all that? Did you sign up for a sketchy program that granted you powers or are you going to tell me you were bitten by a radioactive brain?”

“I think you know the term ‘mutant’?” You say and you see a memory flash in Mr. Stark’s mind. It’s a news clip about how Worthington Labs have developed a cure that would suppress the X-gene. Mr. Stark remembers long lines as well as protests.

“I haven’t heard that word since, what, 2006?” Mr. Stark breathes out.

“I…can’t relate. I was just born then.”

“Jesus. You’re practically an infant, aren’t you?” Mr. Stark looks like he has just aged ten years. “So what’s your shtick? You Spiderling's sidekick or something?”

You see the gears in his head turning, thinking about how Peter has crossed the line by tampering with his suit and going off on dangerous missions on his own. He does not want to have to keep tabs on another rugrat, worrying himself about the dangerous you could possibly put yourself in. Mr. Stark feels worry, guilt, and disappointment. He does not show it on his face.

“No…I don’t have plans on saving the world, Mr. Stark.” You tell him slowly because, really, you did not. You never thought you would end up helping out Spider-Man and when you did, you did not get the thrill of being a hero. You cannot imagine what gets Peter out of bed every day and swinging around Queens.

“Good. Good. Perfect.” Mr. Stark stares at you. “That is to say…you do not have plans on ending the world, too, right?”

“I’m only eleven, Mr. Stark. The only plans I have is passing sixth grade.”

You hear Mr. Stark call you an infant again in his mind.

“Just stay out of trouble, got it? We used to have someone like you on the team. She used to mess with people’s minds,” Mr. Stark studies you and you can tell that he still thinks you are suspicious. “She could still be doing that, I wouldn’t know. I just don’t need to see some child lifting cars up with their mind on the news, got that?”

“Got it.”

The corner of Mr. Stark’s lip quirks up and he presses something on the screen of his watch. You jump in surprise when you see his suit hovering outside your window.

“Great. Oh. And keep out of my head. There is enough going on in there without you lurking.” Mr. Stark steps out your window and into his suit. You follow him and you watch as the suit molds over his body, his helmet the last thing to come on. “By the way. I really hate being proved wrong so keep an eye on that for me will you?” He points at your bedside table and you see that there is a brown paper bag next to your lamp.

“What?”

“The kid needs to learn his lesson. Make sure to award him when he does.”


	10. How to be just Peter Parker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter has to learn what it is like to be a normal kid again and you have to deal with the fact that you are definitely in the sisterzone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 16 years old  
> Reader - 11 years old

Peter has not even been Spider-Man for a full year and yet he finds it hard to go back to being regular ol’ Peter Parker. Mr. Stark took his suit and Peter had to go home wearing an ill-fitting tourist shirt and Hello Kitty pants that he found…somewhere. He cannot exactly remember anymore. The whole day has been a bit of a blur since Mr. Stark left with his suit.

_If you’re nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it._

God. What is he supposed to do now?

How can he be Spider-Man?

Mr. Stark’s words resonate in his head, echoing in his subconscious as he trekked his way back to his apartment. He stops in front of his door, raising his hand to knock, when he looks over to the door right next to him. He thinks about your voice in his head and how you helped him before Mr. Stark flew in. He had not expected to see you in the ferry and he would be lying if he said that did not feel a surge of panic run through his veins when you teetered close to the center, arms raised as you held both halves together. No one on the ferry would have guessed that a young girl like you had helped in saving their lives and you were able to do it with rips in your jeans and your shoelaces untied.

But what can Peter Parker do? With his homemade suit, Peter could chase after thugs and stop cars at best but Mr. Stark gave him the ability to track bad guys across the different states and hold a ferry together. Even his web shooters, his very own invention, were better thanks to Mr. Stark’s help!

Aunt May’s voice shakes when she tells Peter that she had spent the whole day trying to reach him. No one knew where he was and to add to her worry and panic, she finds out that you were on the ferry when it split in half. You had visited her the moment you got home, your friend’s father had driven you back, and when you did not know where Peter was, Aunt May had no choice but to call the police.

Peter cannot even tell Aunt May the truth when she tells him she knows about him leaving detention as well as the apartment every night. He tells her what he can, that he has lost the Stark Internship because really, he did. Without his suit, he cannot be Spider-Man. He is just Peter Parker.

Aunt May sympathizes and Peter knows that they are going to be okay. He is in the shower, scrubbing the stench of garbage out of his hair and off his skin when Aunt May knocks on his door. He turns the shower off, shampoo foam threatening to flip into his eye, and asks her to repeat herself.

She tells him that he should really talk to you. She knows that you two are not okay and she tells Peter he should at least try to reach out. Peter wants to tell her that it is not his fault that you two are not speaking but he cannot exactly tell her that you are able to keep track of people with just your mind.

“I’m an only child too, Peter but I once had this friend that I was really closed to that I felt like I had a sister,” Aunt May tells him through the door and Peter thinks that if it were not for his heightened senses, he would not have been able to hear her. “That’s a relationship that you cannot replace easily.”

…

Peter tries to be _just_ Peter Parker. He attends all his classes, goes to detention, and helps Ned finish the Death Star. He tries to be normal. It comes to him faster than he thought it would. He guesses after fifteen years of being normal, it is easy to fall back into the routine. He tries to keep himself from looking at the news because he knows that the itch to save the day will come if he sees what is happening outside the world he is trying to peacefully live in. He stops sticking to and pacing across his ceiling when he is thinking and he makes sure to keep his super strength in check, refraining from lifting the furniture around his apartment above his head when his pen rolls under them.

It is when he is reaching under his bed, cheek practically on the floor, when he finds one of his spider trackers. It is small and unmoving and he thinks that maybe it is broken. He finds a way to hook it up to his computer and finds that it is still functional despite its legs no longer being able to move. He gets an idea then and he scrambles around his room to look for a chain.

It is about an hour later when Peter knocks on your front door, holding up the old, portable DVD player you both used to use all the time before being Spider-Man became his main priority. You stare at him for a moment, confused as to why he did not just knock on your window but you decide not to question it. You lead him to your room, your parents barely acknowledging him, and when you close your door, Peter tosses the DVD player on your bed before he brings out something from his back pocket.

“What is that?” You ask him, clearing your throat.

“Peace offering.” He gestures for you to give him your hand and he wraps a bracelet around your wrist. Here is now a metal spider pressed against your skin and you give Peter a confused look. “I think it would be fair that if you can track me, I can keep tabs on you as well.” He gives you a small smile. “Unless, you know, you’re no longer tracking me then I can turn off the signal on that one, too.”

You laugh at his panicked words and you finally smile at him. “Thanks, Peter…

and I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” he breathes out and he brings you into a hug. You wrap your arms around his middle and try to refrain from lingering when you feel Peter release his hold on you. You tell yourself you could get used to his embrace.

“What’s the DVD player for?” You ask when he steps away from you.

“Plan B just in case you didn’t accept my apology the first time.”

“Oh. Well, in that case, you’re not forgiven until we watch _Footloose._ ”

…

_Jo. This is the worst day of my life._ You text your friend as hide in the Parker’s kitchen, away from Aunt May and Peter.

_You said that yesterday when you sat on melted cheese while wearing white pants._ Joanna replies a second later.

_No. You do not understand. This is the most tragic situation I’ve ever been in._ You are amazed that you have not made a typo with how fast your thumbs tapped your screen. _You know how I thought I was in the friendzone?_

_Girl. You were neighbor-zeoned at best._

_How dare you. I’ve been promoted in the past few months._

_Keep dreaming._

_ANYWAY. I’ve been demoted…or promoted? I don’t know how to look at it._ You can hear Aunt May tell Peter that they should start looking for a corsage before all the flower shops in Queens run out. _I’m in the sisterzone now. I’m literally family to him. Untouchable._

_If you weren’t in his radar back then, you are completely undetectable now. State of the art cloaking technology. You should sell your secrets to the FBI._

You scowl at your phone. _I hate you so much right now._

_Congrats on no longer being an only child!_

You close the message with a huff and pull up the YouTube app to search how to tie a tie. You are just about to send the link to Aunt May when Peter walks into the kitchen wearing a white button down shirt underneath a suit jacket. He is holding a tie in his hand, not yet sure how to put it on. He opens his arms as if to ask how he looked. You make a face at him and give him a thumbs down.

“Aw! C’mon!” Peter whines and you laugh. You take in a breath and you look at him, brows furrowed. “I know,” Peter says as if reading your thoughts. “May said I should wear cologne.”

“I thought you liked this girl?”

“That bad, huh?”

“You smell old.”

“Like hot manly man old or old man old?”

You grimace. “The second one. I hate to say it but she might not even let you through the do—ah! No! Peter!”

Peter had pulled you to his side, arm around your neck as he rubbed his knuckle against the crown of your head. You slapped his arm and wriggled in his grip, whining. Peter is laughing and when May walks into the kitchen to see what the commotion is about; she whips out her phone to video the two of you. You tell yourself that this is something you can get used to, Peter seeing you as family and being relaxed around you, putting down his walls.

You tell yourself that this is enough. That it has to be enough.

…

Aunt May takes your out for ice cream after you both drop Peter off at the Toome’s residence. You try to keep out of Peter’s head, not wanting to feel his nerves or maybe even his adoration for Liz. You focus on the desert in front of you, dripping down the side of the cone as Aunt May tells you that she really hopes that Liz is a nice girl.

“Peter deserves someone nice, you know?” Aunt May says, her ice cream barely touched. She pokes at it with her plastic spoon but does not eat. “Someone who’ll just get him. Someone patient. Forgiving.”

You nod your head because Aunt May is right. You know she is right. You think Peter deserves the world and if Liz Toomes could give him that…

“Ned said she’s the captain of the decathlon team,” you say because you know that Aunt May really wants to talk about her and Peter. You did not need to read her mind to know this. “She’s also very pretty and popular.”

“You’ve met her?” Aunt May asks, brows raised.

“I’ve seen pictures.” You shrug because it is true. When you find yourself slipping into Peter’s mind, you find him thinking about her—how cute she looks in her new top and how smart she is. Apparently, she knows that he likes her. She told him this when he asked her to homecoming. She tells him that he is not very good at keeping secrets.

Aunt May lets out a sigh. “I really hope they work out and Peter does not mess up. He’s a good kid, really. Sweetest boy in the world but he tends to, I don’t know, get stuck in his head?”

“He was probably just thinking about the Stark Internship.”

“I know that the internship meant the world to him, but even before that. He just seems to always be busy. Remember when you two used to have movie nights every week? Why’d that stop?”

You shrug your shoulders again. “Probably didn't want to keep hanging out with a kid.”

“You know that’s not true.” Aunt May reaches out to cover your hand with hers. “You’re family, you know that, don’t you?”

You smile because what else can you do? You are about to tell Aunt May that yes, you know this, that you really appreciate her for taking you in when you just need to feel like you belong somewhere, that you just want to be loved, but the words get stuck in your throat because someone is screaming in your head, voice high and scared.

_Liz Toomes dad is the bird man! He’s the Vulture!_ It’s Peter’s thoughts and he is freaking out, scared beyond his wits. _My date’s dad tried to kill me!_


	11. Weight on his shoulders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are amazed with Peter's power and how determined he is to be a hero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Park - 16 years old  
> Reader - 11 years old

You don’t know how Peter does it, where he gets his strength, but he is holding you close to his side as he zips you both away towards a building’s roof. The wind is deafening at the speed that the two of you are going but you cannot find it in yourself to care because you are too busy trying to contain your sobs. This whole thing was too much. You’re just a kid—you both are just kids, yet you both were blessed (even if some days it felt like you were cursed) with great powers. You have to admire Peter deciding to be a hero. You think that not a lot of teenagers think like him. They probably only think like you, using your powers for your own benefit. You think the world would be a better place if everyone is a little bit like him. A better, albeit stuttering and maybe a little bit awkward, world.

Peter’s wounds are already healing but you pull out a packet of Band-Aids you keep in your back pocket from years of getting blisters from your shoes. They probably won’t help his healing process but you apply two or three on the scratches you find on his arms. It is the least you can do. It is the only thing you can do. Peter does not say anything but you see the corner of his mouth quirk up in a smile when he notices the patterns on each adhesive. You seem to have picked up some Hello Kitty and SpongeBob plasters.

You balance on the heels of your feet as you squat in front of Peter, he is leaning his head against the wall behind him and he just looks so tired. You can imagine. You are tired, too, and you only witnessed everything from Peter’s eyes.

_Your parents are probably going to kill you when they wake up from their daze but you tell yourself you are going to deal with the aftermath later. You have brainwashed your father to drive you to Midtown School of Science and Technology because that was the last place you saw Peter. Your Peter-senses are telling you that he is somewhere far off but the voice in your head tells you to go here first. You burst into the school’s library just in time to hear Ned tell the woman in blue that he was watching porn. She is not impressed and is just about to drag Ned out when you grab hold of her arm, forcing her to look down at you._

_“We were never here,” you tell her, your eyes wide and you see her own turn glassy. “Go back to the dance.”_

_The woman walks out the library without a single word and when the doors swing close, Ned lets out a sigh of relief._

_“I am so glad you can do that,” he tells you, easing himself back on his chair. You see that he has two of the school’s computers open._

_“Where’s Peter?” You ask him, your voice wavering._

_“Last I checked he was somewhere in Brooklyn,” Ned looks back at the monitor that was tracking Peter’s phone. “You know about Liz’s—”_

_“Dad? Yeah. Crazy, right?”  You say distractedly as you look at the map on the monitor and you telepathically send the coordinates to your father’s mind. “I’ve got to go.”_

_Your father probably breaks all the traffic laws in the book but you tell yourself that if someone is going to come and arrest him, you can probably point them in the other direction. You use your powers to turn every red light green and you push people away from the car as it speeds past them. You hear Peter’s thoughts in your head and you swear that you can see the fight right in front of you. You have probably reached a whole new level of telepathic connection if you can actually see what he sees in real time. That is why when the warehouse he was fighting in collapses in front of him, you feel like you are being suffocated in the rubble as well._

_The car nearly crashes when you lose your focus, straining to keep your link with Peter connected as he goes in and out of consciousness._

Peter! _Your mind yells, praying that you aren’t too late._ Peter please wake up!

_His thoughts jump awake and you can tell that he is panicking. He rips his mask off of his face before he realizes the situation that he is in. You feel your own heart beat erratically against your chest and you try to calm his mind from where you are but you are not strong enough._

_Peter’s thoughts beg you to help him_

Please, please, please _his thoughts cry and you see him reaching out, calling for help._ You have to hurry. _The way he says your name makes your eyes water and you urge your father to drive faster._ You have to help me.

_You tell him that you aren’t too far away, that he has to hold on a little longer, but you can feel him giving up. He is struggling to lift the weight off his back but every time he moves it feels like it is getting heavier, pushing him further into the ground._

_ˆ_ You are so much stronger than me, _Peter’s thoughts cry,_ please! You have to find me!

_Vaguely, you hear police sirens behind you but you ignore them. You have to focus on Peter. You see through his eyes that everything around him is dark and dusty and wet and he is struggling to catch his breath. You try to find something, anything, that can help him but this is way outside your expertise. You don’t know what to do so you talk to him._

Peter, _your thoughts reach out and you try to keep your mind calm,_ you have to listen to me. You can get out of this.

No, no. I can’t. Please, you have to come.

I am coming, Peter, but you have to stay strong. You can’t give up, _you don’t know if what you’re thinking is making sense. You just want to encourage him. You want him to keep trying._

I can’t do this. Without the suit—

You didn't have the suit when you stopped that car from crashing into the bus, _you force images into his mind, the videos you have seen on YouTube when Peter did not know you knew his secret. You show him what Spider-Man can do without Tony Stark’s technology,_ You are stronger than this, Peter.

It’s so heavy. I can’t. I can’t lift this.

Yes, you can, Peter! _you’re crying now,_ C’mon, Peter!

_The police catch the car before you can turn the corner to the warehouse and you only have time to convince the officers that you were not in the car at all before you make a mad dash towards Peter. You think your dad can survive one night in custody._

_You see nothing but rubble when you reach the warehouse and you do a quick scan and find that Peter is no longer there. You think that you should count yourself lucky. You had nearly screamed when Peter’s link with you broke and you feared the worst. If he is no longer here, then that means he got out. You reach out to him once more and you find him somewhere in the sky._

Oh my god. I’m fighting on an invisible plane, _Peter’s thoughts ring in your head and you immediately cut your connection with him. You are not going to distract the boy while he is up in the sky. Oh dear Lord you hope that one of his spider powers involved flying._

_You find Peter after his fight with Liz’s dad. Your mind brings you to him and when you catch sight of him, all banged up and bloody and sweaty, you let out a cry, collapsing into his arms, not caring about how sore he probably is. You want him to stop this hero business. You are scared that the last time he runs off to save the day, he is not coming back. You tell yourself that you can make him stop, you just had to wriggle your way into his mind and tell him to stop, but when Peter wraps his arms around you and cries into your shoulder, you find yourself only giving his mind calming thoughts._

_Peter Parker is a hero and it is something that you just have to accept._

“Let’s go home?” Peter asks you after he catches his breath. You push your hair away from your face but the wind just blows it back again and you wonder if you have the power to control the wind. You think your mind is not strong enough to mess with the elements. “I think I really need a nap.”

You let out a laugh which sort of sounds like a sob but you smile at him anyway, reaching out for his hand.

“How was your dance?” You ask him as he aims his web shooter to the closest building he can swing off of.

“Oh, you know, the usual. I think her dad hates me.”

“No!” You say with a gasp because you want to act shocked but also because Peter leaps off the roof you both are on. You grab onto him with your life and you decide that you hate flying…swinging…being off of the ground.

“It’s true! He doesn’t even know my name!” Peter yells in your ear. “He kept calling me Pedro!”

…

You think that you probably have a death wish with what you are doing now but you cannot leave your room in fear of what your parents are going to do to you when they see you. Your mother got the call from the police to pick up your father and ever since then, you have barricaded your door shut, making sure that they cannot get it.

You climb out your window and picture your mind sticking your hand to the wall like how to stuck your furniture against your door. You focus your concentration on your hand before you move to your feet. Holy hell you do not know how Peter does this and the moment your body is completely out your window; you scramble towards Peter’s your concentration breaking the moment you grab hold of his window frame. Your mind is fast enough to lift the brown paper bag through his window and you are left to pull yourself up by yourself.

You conclude that you cannot use your powers to effectively stick yourself to walls like Peter. Well, you think, at least you know.

You hide on his top bunk and wait for Peter to come into his room. He sees the brown paper bag first and he only notices your presence when you let out a squeal as he practically rips his clothes off.

He yells out your name, bringing the Spider-Man suit to his body to hide his chest.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You say, laughing. “I just wanted to surprise you!”

“Well, consider me surprised.” Peter rolls his eyes and steps into his suit, pulling it up his legs and arms. “Did you know about this?”

You make a motion that looks like you are zipping your lips shut. Peter smacks the spider on his chest and the suit molds to his body. You are about to make a comment, maybe even tease him, when you hear Aunt May’s voice in your head just a second before she appears at Peter’s doorway.

“What the f—”

So apparently you can freeze time. Who knew?

Peter says your name, shocked lacing his voice. “What did you do?”

“I-I panicked! I just thought ‘holy crap!’ and everything stopped!” You climb down the top bunk and walk over to Aunt May. She remains unmoving and when you reach into your mind, you find that you froze her thoughts, too. She does not know anything about what is happening right now.

“Can…can you unfreeze her?” Peter asks, worry lacing his tone.

“Yeah, I think so, but what are you going to do?” You gesture wildly at the emblem on his chest. “She’s going to freak out and you’re going to freak out and I’m going to freak out—I can erase her memory. I can make her forget this happened—”

“No!” Peter stops you, grabs hold of your hand before you can reach up to Aunt May’s temple. “We said no more mind meddling!”

You think that you forgot to tell him about the teacher who caught Ned in the library.

“So… you’re just going to tell her?”

“I’m not telling her anything,” Peter lets out a breath. “I think she can piece two and two together when she sees me.”

“You’re going to be so grounded,” you say to him as if it is the worst punishment of all time. “She’s never going to let you out again.”

“We’ll see…go make time move again.” Peter looks defeated and you slowly release your hold on time. Aunt May shakes her head, looking around as if she knew something was off, before her eyes land on Peter again. Peter is already wincing, as if his spidey senses are telling him to prepare for what is to come.

“Peter, what the fuck?”


	12. It’s not a Phase!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peer pressure takes on a whole new level when you are a telepath and seem to be able to absorb people's thoughts and feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 17 years old  
> Reader - 12/13 years old

Aunt May remembers what it is like to be an angsty teenager. She knows what if feels like when you think your parents do not understand you and that the world is against you. She used to listen to loud, screaming music and bang her head to the beat, yelling at her mom to get out of her room because she was embarrassing her. Aunt May has even had her fair share of sneaking out, climbing out her window to join her friends in their latest hang out spots. She even had a chance to drive a car without her license yet. Aunt May has been there, done that.

That is why she tried to be the “cool” guardian for Peter. She never wanted him to feel like he could not be himself around her. That is why she supported his geeky interests, his dumpster diving, and the Stark Internship. Something about Tony Stark rubbed her the wrong way when they met, he was too charming for someone who was publicly known to be in a relationship with his company’s CEO, but Peter idolized the man so she kept quiet about her apprehensions. Or, at least she tried to. Sometimes she can’t be “cool Aunt May” all the time.

Aunt May thought that after Peter finished his first year in high school without donning black nail polish and highlighted tips, she was able to avoid handling an angsty teenager. She thought that whatever she did to her parents was going to haunt her, but Peter remained sweet and nerdy and just Peter. Until his sophomore year when he would sneak out of the house every night and lie to her. She did not know what to do when she found out Peter quit his after school activities. He did not even discuss it with her!

She supposes that finding out that he is Spider-Man is better than all the scenarios that she came up during sleepless nights. At least he is not drinking or doing drugs. At least he is doing _good_ even if it worries her all the same.

When Peter and Ned had another Star Wars marathon during the weekend, Aunt May thought that she was in the clear. She had prepared herself for the day when Peter would throw out his light colored sweaters and nerdy t-shirts for band tees and ripped jeans. Luckily for her, that day never happened. What did happen that Star Wars weekend was you walking through the door with black eyeliner under your eyes and combat boots. Aunt May just about dropped the plate of cookies she was holding and was glad that Peter caught it before it crashed to the floor.

“Oh my god,” Aunt May said, taking in your appearance. “I knew this would happen. I just knew karma was going to bite me in the ass. I just thought it was going to be Peter!”

“What?” Peter’s voice cracks and he clears his throat. “You expected me to have an emo phase?”

“Well, I don’t know. I thought everyone had that phase. I thought it was a blessing from above that you didn’t go through it,” Aunt May grimaces. Ned pauses the movie and she sees him bring out his phone to snap a photo of you. The flash causes you to scowl and Aunt May wonders when the makeup industry thought it was a good idea to make lipstick shades that dark. “Honey, are you okay?”

Aunt May steels her heart, ready for you to tell her to stay out of your business and that she would not understand. She is ready for it. She is not going to cry. She is strong. She will go through this stage with you and help you paint your nails black with white skulls on them.

“Joanna is going through somethings,” you say, your tone defeated as your drop your bag to the floor. It makes a heavy thud and Aunt May thinks that you are really going to ruin your back if you kept carrying it around.

“And… you had to go through it with her?” Peter asks and Aunt May hears laughter in his voice.

“I can’t help it, okay? I have all my classes with her so sometimes I slip into her thoughts and next thing I know we’re shopping at Hot Topic!” You rub your eyes and smudge your eyeliner. It adds to your look and Ned takes another photo. “The music in her head is just screaming and guitar and I can never hear myself think in Chemistry.”

“So… this isn’t your idea?” Aunt May asks.

“Does this look like my idea?” You gesture to your entire body and Aunt May does not know the right answer. Peter and Ned are wise to keep quiet. “I nearly poked my eye out putting this crap and now I don’t know how I’m going to get it off!”

Aunt May coos. She wonders if she looked this cute when she was young and edgy. Your scowl deepens and she knows that you have read her mind. She does not stop thinking about how adorable you are and she asks Ned to send you the pictures.

“I have some makeup wipes in the bathroom. I’ll help you.” Aunt May holds out her hand and when you take it, she sees that your nails are painted midnight blue. “I also have nail polish remover.”

“I told Joanna this was a bad idea,” you mutter under your breath. “Our school does not even allow makeup.”

“When you’re done why don’t you join us for movie night?” Peter calls out, snickering. “I would say join the dark side, we have cookies, but it seems like you’re already there!”

…

You are writing and essay in the kitchen when Peter pulls out a chair and sits on it, arms folded over the backrest. He looks at you with a small smile and you roll your eyes, already seeing in his head what he plans to do.

“So…you got detention,” he says in his best Captain America voice and you crumble a sheet of paper and toss it at his head. He catches it effortlessly and tosses it back at your, smacking you on your fringe covered forehead.

“Shut up,” you say, glaring.

“Y’know, although your new look is growing on me, I definitely prefer your cartoon hoodies and undamaged hair.”

You had gone over to Joanna’s house yesterday thinking that you were going to work on an art project but before you knew it, Joanna was dyeing a chunk of your hair bright red to match her neon green chunk. You were mortified at the patchy work and were immediately punished when you came to school the next day. Just like makeup and nail polish, colored hair was against the rules.

“Joanna thinks she’s the next Avril Lavigne. She complains that she was born in the wrong generation.”

“And you’re, what, Evanescence?” Peter asks, quirking his brow. “Paramore?”

“Misery loves company,” you tell him, your smile not reaching your eyes. You read Peter’s mind out habit and you see that Aunt May asked him to talk to you. She is worried that maybe Joanna is making you do things you really don’t want to do (which is true) and she thinks you might do something you’ll regret. “Don’t worry. Joanna isn’t going to make me do something stupid.”

Peter’s eyes widen. “How— _hey!_ We said no mind reading!”

“I can’t help it! You’re like Mr. Stark. Your thoughts are really loud.”

“I’m like Mr. Stark?” Peter grins before shaking his head. “No, wait, you can’t distract me.”

“Aunt May is buying boxed dye right now. She’s going to help me fix my hair. I won’t get detention again,” you say, dragging each word out as if you are already tired of speaking.

“Just… be smart, okay? I don’t want to lecture you but, y’know, as Spider-Man, I want the people of New York to be safe.” Peter puffs out his chest and deepens his voice. You make a face at him but later let a genuine smile grace your lips.

“And as Peter?”

“Peter just wants to look out for his lil sis.” He messes with your hair before standing up from his seat.

“You know we’re not really siblings, right?” You smooth down your hair and frown when you feel how dry the red chunk of your hair is. You are so going to kill Joanna when she is done being dramatic.

Peter gasps. “What? Why didn’t you tell me?” He puts a hand over his heart. “Then why are you hear every single day?”

You use your powers to dull his senses and you throw the crumbled piece of paper at him again, hitting right in the middle of his face.

…

You think you should probably be scared by how easily Joanna convinces you to do things you do not want to do. You used to think that you just followed her every word because 1) she was one of your closest friends and 2) you didn’t really care that she would take the lead. But now…now, you think that your powers are going against you. With you always being in her head, you are starting to think like her, do the same things she does. You only snap out of it when you two part ways at the end of the day. You always knew that your thoughts could influence others, you just did not know that it worked the other way and how powerful it was.

You are waiting in Peter’s room, sitting on the top bunk, hands hovering over your ears. Aunt May has a late shift tonight and Peter is off patrolling. You know you can reach him if you really wanted to but are too busy focusing on the pounding of your earlobes. You did not even know earlobes could pound.

It was a stupid idea, really, and you are wondering when was the last time Joanna had a good idea. You should have left her in the mall the moment you saw her heading off to Claire’s but her influence was simply too strong. You saw Pinterest boards in her mind and you had to admit that extra piercings looked coo. You just did not know that they would also be so painful.

Peter swings into his room about an hour later, nearly colliding with his closet. Swinging into his room is a new thing he is trying out and he has had only a handful of successes. He removes his mask, curls damp with sweat, and catches sight of you on his bed, tears in your eyes.

“What happened?” He asks, already climbing up to the second bunk, taking your hand in his. He sees your ear is red and irritated. He whispers your name in the same tone someone would use when they say “aww.” “What did you do?”

“Joanna said it would look cute,” you sniff.

Peter’s lips are pressed into a line. “I don’t want to be _that_ person but if Joanna said to jump off a cliff—”

“I would probably do it,” you tell him, your voice soft but the fear is evident. “I don’t think what’s going on, Peter, but I don’t know if my mind is my own anymore.” You see his eyes widen and you can hear his thoughts trying to process what you had just said. “I…I hear voices…all the time. Sometimes it’s just me from a different time, other times it’s everyone around me. I can control them, sometimes. But, this is the first time that I feel like they’re controlling me.

“I’m scared, Peter. What if I meet someone bad, like really bad, and they make me do bad things?”

Peter does not have an answer. You now he does not. But you wish he did.

He looks at your helplessly for a moment before bringing you into his embrace. He smells like Queens and sweat. You vaguely wonder how he cleans his suit if it is filled with wires and circuits. You wince when his shoulder presses against your ear and Peter jerks away from you for a moment, his face scrunched up in pain.

“I-I’m sorry,” you say because you think you might have made him feel what you felt.

“C’mon, your ear is probably infected. Mrs. Leeds is a nurse…she might have something.”

You wrap your arms around Peter and close your eyes as you both zip out of his room and into the city.


	13. A Bad Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your mother finds a notebook filled with (supposedly) your thoughts and you haven't felt safe around your parents ever since.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 17 years old  
> Reader - 12/13 years old

Your mother finds the notebook lying on the floor next to your bedroom. You had accidentally dropped it on your rush to get out the door this morning because you woke up late for school. She picks it up and flips through the pages, immediately recognizing you plain print. You were never good at writing in cursive, your words almost illegible when you tried. She thinks about tossing the notebook away, maybe even just kicking it into your room, but she is curious. What in the world would a child like you be writing?

She thinks that they are stories at first. After all, what else could they be? They could not possible be your thoughts. They are…too advanced for your age, too mature. The descriptions of war and sorrow should not be something you should know to be real, just things you have seen on television and made up on your own.

Yet, they feel real. The emotions…the fear…

You write about people disappearing. One minute they are there, the next second they are nothing but dust. She thinks that you have an overactive imagination.

But something tells her that these things are not made up.

The story is not consistent; your thoughts—the narrative—jump from one page to the other. Sometimes you sound like you have hope, other times you sound lost and afraid. Your mother does not miss the pages where you sound almost happy that the people have disappeared. There are thoughts about stealing, breaking people’s hopes and dreams. Evil thoughts.

She prays that these are works of fiction.

She comes across a passage where you jot down plans. Plans to steal important artifacts from a museum. She never finds out the result because the next page is a story of how you save a museum from being robbed, helping Spider-Man in catching the felons.

On one page, you’re the villain, on the next, you are a hero. Mostly, you are just a civilian, trying to live your life peacefully.

The villain narrative scares your mother. There is a lot of writing about revenge and how unfair the world has treated you and people like you. You want justice. You would do whatever means are necessary to achieve. Spider-Man is not by your side in this narrative.

She reads a page where you turn against her and your father. It is not like how you used your powers against them in the previous year, no, in this narrative you torture them to the point that they beg for the sweet release of death. You do not grant it to them immediately, but when it comes… you mother drops the notebook in horror and runs to throw up in the bathroom. Your father was shaving his facial hear off, nearly stumbling into the shower when your mother pushes her way in to hurl her breakfast into the toilet.

“She’s…she’s a monster,” your mother heaves, her eyes watering from the force of emptying her stomach. Your father stares at her, his face still covered in shaving cream. “We have to get rid of her.”

…

If Peter were not as busy as he was, you would have told him…honest! You would have sat him down, or you would have sat down, and tell him all about the voices in your head. The versions of you in the future… futures. Plural. You haven’t really figured them out yet. At first, you thought it was just one version of you speaking to you but then you realized that the orders you get seemed to contradict each other from time to time and you realized that many “yous” were talking.

You should really come up with a name for them. This is getting confusing.

You try to keep up with them, write down their thoughts and words in a notebook. But sometimes they clash and your notes just get messy when they try to take control.

You haven’t picked a favorite “you” yet.

That said, you are leaning towards the voice that tells you fond memories about Peter. A Peter that you do not know. The voice does not go into much detail but you like the way she sounds when you are with Peter. She coos at him, calls him a little baby, and you think that he probably is to her. She sounds like she is from a future you cannot even begin to fathom yet.

She sounds happy, though. Like she has got everything she ever wanted.

You wonder how well you have to play your cards to be like her, to have your time mirror hers.

Peter crawls in through the living room window late at night and catches you watching _Back to the Future._ Or, you were trying to watch. You are having trouble keeping your eyes open but you cannot bring yourself to get up from the sofa. You wave at him sleepily and he gives you a look.

“Oh don’t make that face at me,” you say, grumpy. “I should be making that face at you. You’re the one who was out.”

“I had a reason,” Peter tells you, dropping his mask on the coffee table in front of you and plopping down on the seat next to you. He smells like smoke. “It’s a school night.”

“Again, I should be saying that to you,” you offer him the bucket of popcorn you made just before the movie and he takes the whole thing, shoveling a handful of popcorn into his mouth. You pick up your phone and open Twitter, scrolling through your feed. You pull out a Tweet and show it to Peter. “This you?” Apparently there was a burning building in Brooklyn and Spider-Man was caught saving people from the uppermost floors.

“No. Some impersonator,” Peter says with a shrug, smile threatening to appear on his lips. Of course it was him. Who else would it be? “I should really trademark my look, you know?”

You _have_ seen some people going around the city dressed in their own Spidey suit. You have to give them credit, their work looked a whole lot better than Peter’s original homemade suit. Not that you were going to tell Peter that.

“You have to make Spidey a bank account if you want to get paid.”  

“Ugh. Too much work.” He gives you back the bucket, half empty, and stretches his arms over his head. You hear his bones crack and you scrunch up your nose at the sound. He turns to you and you wonder if he is trying to see what is inside your head.

Maybe he can tell that your late night stay is not like usual, that there is something keeping you from going home. Maybe his spidey sense has noticed a shift in your parents’ air, how, although they are still ignoring you, there is something different in the way that they move around you. Like they are just waiting for the right moment to do… something. You have not figured it out yet. You cannot seem to get the answers when you peak inside their minds, and, because of that, you are scared to go home.

He reaches out to your and messes with your hair, pushing it away from your face. You feel his thumb rub under your eye.

“It smudged,” he says to you, rubbing his thumb against his finger to get rid of the makeup. “Don’t stay up too late, okay?”

You watch him leave, his mask in his hand, you feel yourself wanting to reach out to him. Your mouth is open, ready for the words to come out, but you keep them in.

It is late.

Peter has an exam tomorrow.

He is going to need all the rest he can get if he is going to cram just before it.

You look back at the screen and eject the disk. You will try watching the movie again another time. Maybe you’d ask Peter to invite Ned over. You think that he would have some interesting commentary. You clean up your mess and fold the blanket you borrowed from Aunt May over the sofa. You debate over how you are going to get back to your apartment, if you should try the front door or experiment with your powers and sneak in through your window.

You think both options are pretty bad but you decide that going through your front door is the least likely to get yourself killed.

Your apartment is pitch black when you walk in and you find out that your parents are not home. You wonder where they could have gone, if they have gone out together, but you shake your head. If they are not home, then there is nothing for you to be afraid of.

You do your night routine as fast as you can, ignoring that you cannot completely get the black smudges out of your eyes, and when you tuck your legs under your blankets, you catch sigh of your notebook on your bedside table. You think about the voices and you wonder if they have anything they would like to say to you tonight but they are oddly silent. You worry for a second. It is rare for them to be this quiet, at most they become a soft murmur at the back of your mind when they have no advice to give or stories to tell, but you are so tired that you think that maybe you are the one who cannot hold a proper link with them.

They’ll be there when you wake, you tell yourself, and you wonder if they will have more things to say to you.

…

Peter wakes with a start and before his mind can catch up, he is already reaching for his web shooters. He cannot remember much about his dream, he wants to think that it was pleasant, maybe it is the one about him going on a mission with the Avengers, but all he can recall is screaming. His ears are ringing and when he tries to listen closely, Queens is as quiet as it can be when it is the middle of the night.

He cannot bring himself to go back to sleep. There is something wrong. He knows this. He just cannot figure out what.

He hears screaming…only it is inside his head. It’s you. Your mind is screaming for him and he immediately leaps out his window and runs to yours, pushing your window open with so much force that he nearly breaks it.

Your room his dark but he can make out two figures—they’re your parents. Your father is holding you down by your neck and your mother is doing something with your arm. Peter does not stop to question the scene. He immediately shoots a web at your mother and pulls her away from you. When she is far enough away, he swings into your bedroom, knocks her over and webs her to the floor, face down. Your father crashes into him but Peter’s reflexes are quick and he catches himself. He kicks your father away, slams him to the wall and webs his arms repeatedly. Your father curses at him and Peter webs his mouth shut.

You yell for Peter, or at least your try to, it comes out as more of rasp and Peter is immediately by your side. His eyes automatically go to the collar around your neck, the bright light glares at him. You are crying and Peter looks for a button, something, to get the collar off.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Peter tells you, smoothening down your hair. “I got you. I’m going to get this off, okay?”

“It’s quiet,” you tell him, your words coming out in gasps. “I can’t hear. I can’t hear.”

Peter panics, thinking that you have gone deaf, but you seem to be responding to him.

“The voices. The voices are gone.” You are having trouble breathing. You look like you’re about to pass out. “I can’t hear your thoughts, Peter, I can’t hear them!”


	14. Lucky you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Stark helps you and Peter out and you meet a professor with a tempting invitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 17 years old  
> Reader - 12/13 years old

Peter is watching you from the other side of the glass. You are sitting in the medical ward, your feet swinging from not being able to touch the ground, and you are talking to a man in a wheelchair. Peter has never seen him before but something about him calms him, like he knows he can trust him. You are not looking directly at him but Peter sees you nod your head as the man talks to you. Peter imagines that his voice is gentle and maybe wise. He thinks all old men sound gentle and wise. You are rubbing your neck and he feels his fingers twitch as if he can stop you from where he is standing. Even from where he is standing he can see that the skin of your neck is red and raw from the collar.

His phone vibrates and when he checks it he sees Aunt May is calling. He glimpses at the time. It’s early. Too early for a lot of people to be up but not Aunt May. It is early enough for her to crawl out of bed and check if Peter is safe in his bed. Obviously, he is not.

“Hey, May,” Peter answers the phone, trying to keep his tone casual as he watches you and the old man. He is no longer talking but you are not saying anything either.

“Peter? Where the heck are you?” Aunt May is loud and distressed and Peter has to hold the phone a little bit away from his ear. “We set a curfew for a reason! I don’t want you out too late, it’s not safe!”

Peter wants to say that people are not safe if he does not stay out late patrolling but he keeps his mouth shut. “Uhm, something came up. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“You come home right this second!”

The door behind Peter opens and he sees Mr. Stark walk in, carrying your collar. At least what is left of it. It seems like he has been tinkering. “I…I can’t, May. I have something to do for Mr. Stark.”

Mr. Stark raises his brow at the mention of his name but Peter shakes his head. Mr. Stark shrugs his shoulders, not really caring about what Peter is up to at the moment because there are more important things at hand. He walks into the medical bay and Peter strains his ears to catch what is being discussed inside. He only hears you say “I don’t want to leave” before the door closes again.

“Are you listening, Peter?”

“Huh? Yeah, uhm, I’ve got to go,” Peter sees you looking at him through the window and he sees that although you have stopped crying, you still look very upset. “I’ll be home soon. I promise.”

“Peter—”

Peter hangs up the phone, he is going to pay for that later, and walks into the medical bay. It’s early. The sun has just started to come out and Peter feels a little bit bad for coming all the way to the Avengers compound but he did not know where else to go. There’s a big, electronic collar that’s stuck on your neck? Mr. Stark should know how to get it off. And he did. Sort of. He figured it out in about an hour or two. It took a while for him to fully get up, confused as to how two kids bypassed the security system. Peter just does not know why Mr. Stark, after Peter had explained what had just happened, invited someone over while he was tinkering with the device, apologizing whenever you felt a small zap pierce your skin.

“Hi,” Peter says, his voice coming out unsure. “Is everything okay?” Probably not with how you are looking at him.

“The serum should be flushed out of her system by tomorrow,” Mr. Stark says, “It’s a good thing that whatever they put in her has lost its effectivity over the years. Old batch.”

“She is very lucky,” the old man says and Peter is right, he is gentle and wise sounding. “You were smart to bring her here.”

“I didn’t know where else to go,” Peter admits, scratching the back of his head. “I knew Mr. Stark could do something so…yeah… I’m Peter, by the way. Peter Parker.”

“Charles Xavier,” the man says and Peter thinks that the name rings a bell but he does not know why.

“Professor X here runs a private school for mutants,” Mr. Stark says, folding his arms across his chest. He tells Peter that you are being invited to stay at the mansion. Ah. Yes. Of course. Peter wants to smack his head for letting it slip his mind. How could he forget about the in famous Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters? “Once we find her parents, she is going to need a place to stay.”

“They got away?” You ask, your eyes wide.

“Spiderling’s webs here only last two hours at most—which reminds me,” Mr. Star looks over at Peter, “we should think about creating a formula that would last longer—and, where was I? Oh. Yes. So, they got away, but your hero was smart enough to leave a tracker on them, just in case.”

You do not look reassured. “Why didn’t you call the police to get them right away?”

“Because we figured they might lead us to where they got this nifty thing.” Mr. Stark lifts the collar and you flinch at the sight of it.

“It is to my knowledge that collars like that are used for mutants in the Ice Box,” Professor X says, his voice grave.

“Something that should not be used on a child.” Mr. Stark tosses the collar onto a table, wincing when it bangs on it harshly. He looks apologetic, almost. “Come on, Spider-Man. Suit up. We have a mission.”

“If you would like some assistance, I know some people who would be glad to help,” Professor X offers.

“We _are_ short-handed as of late…,” Mr. Stark looks up at the ceiling in thought. “No, it’s okay. We should be fine but I’ll have you speed dial.”

“Of course,” Professor X smiles.

Mr. Stark nods his head and turns his attention back to Peter. “I expect you to be ready in thirty minutes.” He turns on his heel and walks out the door and Peter realizes that his mouth is hanging wide open. He snaps his jaw shut and he looks at you to see if he what he had just heard was right.

“Congrats,” you say to Peter although your smile does not reach your eyes. “One step closer to being an Avenger.”

“Oh my god,” Peter says.

“You better get ready, Peter. I assume Tony does not like to be kept waiting,” Professor X tells him, moving his chair to get a better look at you. You avert your eyes but he does not seem offended by the action. His smile is still kind, understanding, like he knows exactly what you are going through. He says your name and Peter wonders if it’s his tone of voice, like he is reaching out to you, that makes you look at him. “No one is forcing you to go, but think about it, okay? I assure you, you will have a grand time.”

“T-thank you, professor. I’ll give it some thought,” you say and Professor X takes that as his cue to leave the two of you alone. He bids farewell to you both and leaves the medical bay. Peter watches the man go, thinking about how awesome his wheelchair is, and stuffs his hands in his pockets. His phone vibrates for the nth time and, again, he ignores it.

“So…,” Peter starts, kicking his feet against the floor, his sneakers squeaking. “You’re not leaving Queens, are you? Because, really, that would suck. Like. Extremely. To the nth degree.”

“I don’t want to,” you breathe out, covering your face with your hands before pushing your hair back. Peter notices the dark circles under your eyes and how pale your skin looks under the light. “But, if— _when_ you catch my parents, I wouldn’t exactly have anywhere else to go.”

“But, boarding school?” Peter asks, trying to keep his voice level.

“He said he could help me control…this,” you poke your temple and grimace. “I can’t get used to how quiet it is.”

“I can turn on the TV—”

“No, I mean, my head. I haven’t had _just_ my voice in there in a long time.” You let out a sigh. “It’s kind of lonely.”

“Mr. Stark says you’ll be back to normal tomorrow.”

You snort. “Yeah, _normal_.”

…

FRIDAY plays Iron Man’s and Spider-Man’s infiltration on the big screen. Or was it KAREN? You cannot seem to keep track of all the AIs. Anyway, you are watching Spider-Man sneak up on men carrying guns and to keep them from spotting him, he either webs them off of the ground to stick them to the ceiling or lands on them with enough force to knock them out. It seems like Iron Man is letting Spider-Man take the lead in this mission, watching from the sidelines, and you can guess how the young hero feels about it. You imagine that he is a mixture of nerves, excitement, and the urge to please. You cannot say for sure. You cannot get into his head at this time.

It seemed pretty easy to locate your parents. They found them in a construction hide out guarded by a bunch of thug-looking men with weapons you do not want to focus on. Apparently there is an operation going on that involved smuggling mutant restraining collars and your father knew someone from the inside. They even have a few vaccines that were created to cure mutants off their powers but, if what Iron Man said was right, these cures are not as successful as they once were.

Lucky you.

You look down at the notepad in front of you, the corner of the paper is soaking up water from your glass and you rip the soggy piece off. You are writing the pros and cons of leaving Queens and, although the pros are winning, you really cannot bring yourself to move. You have been in Queens your entire life and have never experienced being the “new girl.” Everywhere you looked, there was at least someone you knew. You don’t know how you’re going to adjust.

Sure, everyone will be just like you at the X-Mansion.

You will still learn everything you would learn in regular school only with extra classes that would help you hone your ability.

You think it is a good idea to have proper control over the voices in your head, over your power. You need to let it stop controlling you.

But moving to the X-Mansion meant no more Aunt May or Miles or Ned or Peter.

There is just too much you cannot afford to lose.

You hear a strong collision come from the screen, causing you to jump in your seat and scratch your pen over the paper, almost writing on the table. You look up and see that Spider-Man and Iron Man found your parents as well as who is in charge of operation. Spider-Man has webbed them up, keeping them in place, and Iron Man has his hand held out in front of him, ready to attack if they so much as look at him the wrong way.

“Good job, kid,” you hear Iron Man say to Spider-Man you think that maybe having a mentor isn’t so bad.

…

Your parents are on the news and your phone is constantly alerting you of new messages. You ignore every single one of them, choosing to stare at Peter’s bedroom ceiling, the vibrations against the mattress somewhat lulling you to sleep. Peter is hanging on his ceiling as he recounts his mission to Ned who is working on a new LEGO project. You choose this moment to focus on reaching out your thoughts to Aunt May who is in the other room. She is trying her hand at cooking dinner for tonight and you can feel her optimism.

When your powers came back to you, you practically threw up from the wave of thoughts and feelings that surged into your mind, knocking you over. Peter had caught you in time but you cannot say that his fast reflexes saved his shoes from being decorated by your breakfast. Mr. Stark had bought him a new pair, the exact one he has been pinned in his Pinterest, but you are forever going to be mortified.

You feel Professor X in your head. He is checking up on you and you tell him you are still unsure. You think that it is a good idea, really. Maybe getting out of Queens will be good for you. Take you out of the limelight for a while. But, again. There is too much to leave behind. You ask for more time and he gives you that. You are grateful. You tell yourself that having him as a teacher is already a plus. He is so much better than those you have in your school right now.

You shift your gaze to look at Peter, his curls hanging, and you see that he is slowly rotating like a disco ball. You wonder how he is not getting dizzy from all the blood rushing to his head and you think maybe it is a perk that comes with his powers. He catches your stare when his body finally turns to you and he quirks an eyebrow, mouthing “What?” to you.

You shake your head, smiling, but you think that you are not really good at hiding your thoughts because Peter’s expression shifts and now you think you cannot breathe. You cannot leave this boy. If Mr. Stark is busy with his own thing (maybe he’s still a superhero? The details after the Avengers broke up is still confusing) and you are all the way in the X-Mansion, who is going to watch his back? You would never forgive yourself if something happens to him and you are not there to help him.

 _I don’t want to go,_ your thoughts reach out to him.

 _But what if you have to?_ He asks you and you know that he is trying not to make the choice for you. _You can learn so much there!_

_But what if I never see you or Ned or Aunt May again?_

His expression is incredulous. _It’s not forever._

And you know this. Of course it is not forever. But something at the back of your head tells you it might be.


	15. New life, Same life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aunt May and Peter help you move in and you try to adjust to your new life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 17 years old  
> Reader - 12/13 years old

Aunt May should probably be helping but she cannot bring herself to leave her spot by the door and instead watches Peter as he brings in another box filled with stuff from your bedroom. You are fixing the things on your desk, arranging the knickknacks and photographs you decided to bring with you and Peter opens the box in the corner, asking you where he should put your clothes. Ned had wanted to help but someone had to take notes for the classes Peter is going to miss today but he had given some tips. He had suggested that you arrange your clothes by season, putting your winter clothes at the back of the closet. At least, that what he says his mother tells him to do.

Your roommate is in class. Thankfully, most of the students and the teachers are busy (or at least claim to be in order to give you space) so you are able to peacefully adjust before you officially start your days as a student at Xavier’s. Aunt May cannot seem to wrap her head around the idea that she is not going to see you every day anymore. It is harder for her to accept compared to when you told her about her powers and asked her to accompany you to Westchester County to have a better feel and impression of the place. Aunt May thanks her fair share of odd encounters, having Spider-Man as a nephew, and constantly watching the news that she is able to easily process seeing children of all ages controlling the elements, flying, teleporting, and walking through walls.

“Have you met your new roommate yet?” Peter asks and Aunt May sees that you are now standing by the window, looking at the large field outside. She can hear children laughing and some explosions. She thinks you are never going to have a boring day during your stay.

“Megan? Uh, yeah. She’s cool,” you tell Peter and Aunt May does not need to be a mind reader to know that you are probably having second thoughts. “I think she can control like earth or cement or something.”

“Like Toph?”

“Yeah but she wears shoes.” You crack a smile.

“Ned is so going to freak out.” Peter already has his phone in his hands, his thumbs dancing across the screen. The device makes a dinging noise when Ned’s reply comes in. “Ned’s wondering if you’re going to join the X-Men.”

“She would do no such thing,” Aunt May says immediately. “I can’t have both of you out there risking your butts. It’s not good for the heart.”

“Maybe _you_ can join the X-Men, Pete. Y’know, if the thing with the Avengers doesn’t work out,” you suggest.

Peter rolls his eyes. “I told you, I’m practically an Aven—do you think they’ll really let me join?”

…

Unpacking finishes faster than any of you expected and Peter finds himself wishing that there more boxes for him to open. He has been trying to keep positive about the whole move, telling himself that this is the best option for you. Your parents are locked up for who knows how long (he hopes that it is forever) and you do not have any other family that can take you in. If he and Aunt May could afford it, they would adopt you in a heartbeat, but it simply was not possible. Aunt May can buy you a few meals and a present or two but supporting your education was out of the question even if you somehow could get a scholarship.

Peter has spent a lot of time thinking up different possibilities.

He really just cannot imagine not having you next door anymore or seeing you hanging upside down on his bunk bed as he and Ned do their homework or mess around with some gadgets they found. Aunt May was right, some relationships are not easy to replace. Peter thought that having just Aunt May as family was good enough, it had to be, but you squeezed yourself into his life, acting like the annoying sister he did not know he wanted, and now you are going away.

Peter tries to keep his mood light to the best of his abilities but he is not exactly sure how much he can actually hide from a mind reader. He made jokes, teased you about your cartoon hoodies and combat boots, and assured you that you are going to have a great time at your new school and home. He says that if he had a chance to have a mentor tell him the ins and outs of his power, he would gladly take it. You do not seem convinced but you do not say anything. Instead, you gamely fixed your room, decorated it like the one you had in Queens, and, when you are finished, you bring him and Aunt May around the mansion, showing them the rooms that you remember. Aunt May helps you when you forget.

Peter takes everything in, remembering the different rooms so that if you tell him about your day, he can imagine it better. He does not want to admit that he also keeps an eye out for easy entry ways to swing through just in case.

Professor X meets the three of you at the main door and you have tears in your eyes as you hug Aunt May goodbye. Peter keeps his distance, watching Aunt May smooth down your hair and whisper encouraging words to you. She tells you not to be a stranger, to tell her if anyone is bullying you so that she can drive on over and kick their ass. She wants you to take care, to have fun, to learn. You tell her thank you for everything and your nose is red and your voice wavers.

“Uhm, well, my phone is connected to my mask so if you need anything, _anything,_ just give me a call and I’ll be there,” Peter tells you, hands in his pockets. “Let me know all the cool things you learn. I’m sure Ned is excited to hear about you practically learning to be a Jedi.” He clears his throat and tries to blink his own tears back. “Make sure to visit, okay? We still have bunch of old movies in May’s collection that we need to catch up on and—”

You bring Peter into a tight embrace, cutting him off. You rub your face against his chest and Peter swears you are crying now. He holds you close and rests his chin on top of your head. God, this is not easy. He should have known it was not going to be easy.

“I’m going to miss you so much, Peter,” you mumble into his shirt.

“Hey, it’s not forever, okay?” Peter says quietly, the line becoming some sort of promise from how often he says it to you. “We’ll see each other during the holidays and maybe when there is a long weekend, I’ll swing by. We can go to the mall or the park. Anything you want.”

_I want to go home,_ your thoughts slip into his mind.

_Just a couple of years,_ his mind says, _it will be over before you know it._

You shake your head again, not even worried about dirtying Peter’s top. He’ll manage. You don’t think you will. _What if something happens in Queens? What if another building—_

_I will be fine. I got out last time and I will do it again. Just worry about yourself, okay?_

“You’ll be fine,” Peter tells you out loud, gently pushing you away.  “You’re amazing. You’ll do great here. Believe me.”

…

Your first few nights in the X-Mansion are spent staring at the ceiling, forcing yourself to not contact Peter or Aunt May or Ned or Miles or anyone from your old life. You do not want them to worry and you do not want to rely on them because sooner or later you are going to have to get used all this.

You are going to get used to seeing multiple copies of the same person walking through the hallways, people create ice out of the water particles in the air when the ice in the freezer runs out, and teleport in and out of classrooms. You are going to get used to not finding comfort in other people’s minds. You are going to get used to no longer listening to Peter’s thoughts through the other side of the wall as he tries to solve his math homework or following Ned’s train while he puts together another Star Wars themed LEGO set. You are going to get used to the way your roommate mumbles in her sleep and the fact that one of your teacher’s skin is blue and has a tail swinging behind him as he teaches.

You are going to get used to this.

It takes a while, probably longer than it should, but you are finally able to sleep peacefully in your bed. You are pretty sure you have kept your roommate up from all your tossing and turning but when reality finally sinks in, your body succumbs to your tiredness and you get used to the too soft mattress.

You should probably tell your roommate that without her, you would be on the first bus back to Queens. Megan has stuck to your side from day one, creating a routine of walking with you to breakfast and to your first class. She introduces you to her friends when you pass them by and tells you the gossip on her favorite teachers. Classes are as fun as they can get, which is not that fun, but you survive. You two like to spend your breaks in either the field or the basketball courts, watching fellow mutants play sports while incorporating their powers. You think about how Peter wanted to try out for a sports team after he got the hang of his powers before he realized that people would be suspicious of his sudden athleticism. You tell yourself that he would probably have fun playing against other enhanced teenagers, finally being able to use his gifts for his own leisurely enjoyment.

You shake your head as if shaking the thoughts of Peter away.

“You okay over there?” Megan asks you and you see that she is playing with some pretty socks she likes to keep in her pocket, having them swirl in the air above her hands.

“Just a little homesick,” you admit.

“I hear people get like that a lot around here,” she tells you and you cannot help but peak inside her mind. You find that unlike you, she does not have a family to get back to if she leaves Xavier’s. She is grateful to be here.

“Does it ever go away?”

“Probably not…but I think you’ll find that the family you have here is just as good as the one you have back in Queens.” You had told her about Aunt May and Peter when she asked about the photograph on your desk. “I mean, I don’t think anyone can make a walnut loaf but if you ask nicely I can make you a mean omelet this weekend.”

…

Things around the X-Mansion aren’t as weird as you thought it would be. Frankly, you have seen weirder in the streets of Queens and your seatmate has accidentally spat acid on your history essay while he was telling you a strange dream he had last night. You try to keep Aunt May and Peter updated, telling them about your classes and friends and even how your lessons with Professor X is going, but you find it harder and harder to bring yourself to message them at night.

You know they care about you, they had proved it time and time again when you showed up at their doorstep, but you are no longer their kid neighbor and you find it hard for Peter to still think of you as some little sister figure with you being so far away, that you cannot help but think that maybe it is time to just ease your way out of their lives. They are probably busy anyway. They do not have time to keep tabs on you especially when you are in the most capable hands.

You stare at the spider tracker turned bracelet and you wonder if someone in the building knows how to tinker with it. There is probably someone. You cannot have a mansion full of enhanced individuals and not have a super genius hiding among them. You think about turning it off. You doubt Peter is keeping track of your location anyway. Where were you even supposed to go? You live and study in the same building and the kitchen is stock full of all the snacks under the sun that you could probably survive an apocalypse.

The night Aaron, super genius mutant that you knew lurked somewhere in the mansion, turned off your spider tracker, you wake up to someone knocking on your window. Megan is fast asleep, muttering something about three headed dragons in her sleep, and you cautiously turn on your side to look at who could possibly be outside. You are amazed that you do not let out a scream when large white eyes stare back at you.

“What are you doing here, Peter?” You ask him when you open your window to see the young hero sticking to the wall beside it. He rips off his mask and you see that he looks tired and slightly windswept. He probably traveled all the way here with all his might, zipping through buildings as fast as he could.

“You know, ever since I got these spidey powers, I’ve realized something.” He grabs hold of your arm and when you try to tug it away, you find that you can’t. At first you think that Peter is using his super strength on you but his grip is light and you realize that he has simply stuck himself to you. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

You let out a laugh, or maybe it was a cry, and Peter guides you out of your bedroom, and helps you make your way up to the roof of the mansion. The night air is cold and you are grateful that you chose to sleep in a hoodie rather than a camisole tonight.

“So,” Peter begins, looking at you and when you read his mind, you know that you have been an idiot to think that he would not care about you, “tell me about your lessons with Professor X. I want to hear all about it.”

 


	16. A Disturbance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have not been having much luck whenever you try to telepathically link with Peter. You accidentally find out about his new crush (ouch) and then you end up losing him in ways you never imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 17/18 years old  
> Reader - 13 years old

You probably should not be holding your breath for this long but you think that if you start breathing, you are going to lose focus on what you are doing. You look at Megan and see that she still has a timer on her phone, recording how long you are floating in the bedroom. You are barely four feet off the ground, you could hardly say that you are flying, but it is something, something new and amazing and spectacular, and oh my God you do not want it to stop. You have always been envious of how Spider-Man swung through the city, propelling himself into the air to flip and cheer. Although not much of a fan of the wind in your hair, you did enjoy the feeling of being up in the sky.

“I have to say, even though I’m a big fan of how you are able to do that, you can’t hold your breath forever,” Megan tells you and you know that you would probably give up in the next ten seconds but you allow yourself the simple bliss of not touching the ground.

You reach out your thoughts, pushing it through the boroughs, looking for Peter’s mind so that you can tell him about your new ability. You find him easily, it is almost second nature, and you are just about to surprise him when you read his mind. Your eyes widen, you let in a gasp, and you come crashing to the ground, groaning in pain. Megan is laughing at the whole ordeal and you cannot even bring yourself to glare at her because your brain is still trying to process what you had just read. Your roommate sees that you are still sitting on the floor, staring blankly at her, and she suppresses her giggles and her expression shifts to that of worry.

“Hey, you okay? You didn’t fall that hard did you?”

Oh. But you did. You fell hard for Peter Parker all those years ago and even now it hurts like hell when you find him thinking about girls that are not you. You have seen her before, seen her in his memories of school. She is in the decathlon team, was appointed captain after Liz left, and she gets along with both Peter and Ned. They are becoming close. Too close. And you are so far away.

Megan calls your name again, she’s kneeling by you side and her thoughts seep into yours and you know that she is contemplating calling a teacher for help.

“There’s…,” you pause and goddamn does your butt hurt, “there’s a disturbance in the force.”

Megan rolls her eyes. “You have got to stop making Star Wars references. I have no idea what they mean.”

You hold out your hand towards the direction of your bed and your pillow zooms to you. You grab it and press it to your face. You curl forward towards your knees and let out a scream. The pillow muffles your voice and although your throat feels raw, you do not feel any better.

“You done?” Megan asks when she takes the pillow away. She tosses it to her bed and looks at you, eyebrows raised in question.

“He likes MJ,” you tell her and you feel like you are eleven years old again coming to terms with his obsession with Liz Toomes.

Megan does not need to ask who “he” is. She knows exactly who you are talking about. Everyone in the entire X-Mansion would know who you were talking about. Even Beast, the nice furry, blue doctor that you had only met once when you passed him by on the way to gym class, would know who you were talking about. Megan did not waste a second. She grabbed both your hands and hauled you off the floor.

“Dessert,” she says as she pushed you through the door, nearly making you collide with Aaron as he balanced a science project in his arms. “We need dessert.”

…

Peter’s art teacher is out for the day, preparing the details of their field trip next month, so the entire class is left to their own devices. There is mindless chatter going off in the classroom but Peter pays no mind to his classmates. Instead, Peter is busy scribbling down notes on a new feature he is thinking about putting in his web shooters. He is just about to figure out the logistics of said feature when Ned scoots his chair closer to him, practically shoving his phone in his face. It seems to be a video and the boy on the screen is a stranger to Peter. He looks at Ned questioningly, wondering if he is going to show him some old Vine video.

“Remember how my cousin’s boyfriend’s best friend is a mutant?” Ned says, his tone too excited to be held in by a whisper.

“…yeah?” Peter says even though he has no idea who Ned is talking about.

“Well, he just sent me this.” Ned plays the video, the volume loud enough for Peter to hear but low enough to not grab the attention of their classmates.

The boy is laughing when the video starts and says something about an explosion in the kitchen.

 _“Megan and the new girl said they were baking for everyone,”_ he says, a large grin on his face, _“Good plan, right? Everyone here loves sweets but someone forgot to tell the new girl that Megan is shit in the kitchen. Only thing she can cook are eggs.”_

Peter recognizes the walls behind him, having practically memorized the X-Mansion’s interior design when he last visited, and he can already tell that the boy is sneaking to the kitchen through the dining room. He pushes the door open and Peter sees you and your roommate and a gigantic mess. Your roommate is moping the floor while you have your hands held above your hand, cleaning the ceiling. Peter squints at the screen and…is that a three-layer cake stuck three feet away from the light? No one acknowledges that the floor next to the oven has practically been unearthed, some sort of rock formation is pierced through the marble.

 _“I thought you said you were good at this,”_ Megan is heard crumbling, shoving the mop back into the bucket of water before going back to the floor.

 _“In my defense,”_ you say as you slowly lower your hands, the cake descending from the ceiling, _“It was never this bad back at Aunt May’s.”_

The boy choses this moment to barge in the kitchen, yelling both girls’ names at the top of his longs. Megan drop the mop and the ground below them begins to shake as she summons the earth beneath them to come back up. Before she breaks the floor plan though you move your arms in a motion that shoots the cake straight at the boy. He lets go off his phone and Peter can only guess you used your powers to keep it floating because now he sees how you managed to knock him back by smashing cake into his face.

 _“Oh my God!”_ Peter hears you scream while Megan curses at the boy and the video ends.

“What?” Peter says, smiling. It has been a while since he last saw you and seeing you with your friends warms him. It is good to see that going to Xavier’s was a good idea.

“Wait, there’s more,” Ned tells him, swiping his phone’s screen to reveal another video.

It shows the boy again only he’s hanging upside down in the air, slowly rotating. Peter sees that his hands and feet are cuffed with rocks—Megan’s handiwork, he’s sure. The video then moves to show you and Megan sitting on the couch, leaning your backs against it leisurely. You are both still wearing aprons, chocolate and flour smeared on your faces and clothes, but you both do not seem to mind. In fact, you are shuffling a deck of cards and Megan seems to be waiting for you to deal.

 _“Aww, c’mon! I said I was sorry!”_ The boy says, his laughter strained from being upside down but Peter can tell that he is still amused from the other video’s events. There’s chocolate all over his face and hair and he can tell that he was only able to wipe the dessert from his face with his hands before you and Megan dealt with him. Other students are walking in and out of the video, choosing to ignore what is happening.

 _“Do you wanna play_ Bullshit _?”_ Megan asks you and when you nod your head, Megan gestures to someone off camera. _“Aaron! Play_ Bullshit _with us!”_

The boy chooses to beg you, saying your name in a tone that makes Peter’s hair stand. The overly familiar tone does not sit right with Peter and he is reminded of the old saying of how boys bully girls they like. You look at him unamused and use your powers to shake him up and down like a salt shaker. He calls your name out again and you drop him to the ground, making the other kids in the room laugh.

 _“Gee, you’re the best,”_ the boy says, getting up on his feet and staggering towards you and Megan. Aaron is smart to steer clear from the sofa, cards already in his hands.

 _“Don’t you dare. I can read your mind, Jason! I swear—”_ you let out a squeal as Jason wraps his arms around you and smothers his chocolate covered face into your hair. You push him away with your powers and he is blown out of the room and into the kitchen. There is sounds of crashing and the video ends.

“I bet it never gets boring in the X-Mansion,” Ned says as he pockets his phone. “I hear that they have this virtual reality training room and that you are actually shot out and—Pete, you okay?”

“Huh?” Peter looks up from the space Ned’s phone was once in and realizes that he is holding his ballpen a little too tightly. He loosens his grip and turns to his best friend. “Yeah, I’m fine. What’s up?”

Ned chooses not to mention Peter’s rigid nature. He thinks it is better if Peter not realize how he is acting. Just a few more years, he tells himself, then he could tease Peter about it. But not now. It’s too soon. Peter can just continue to think he’s being overprotective and, frankly, he could be just that. Who is Ned to know?

Ned puts on his excited fan-boy grin on his face and asks if you have said anything to Peter about the training room, if you have ever tried it out and if you are going to be in the X-Men.

“She’s not interested in being a superhero, Ned,” Peter tells him and frankly he is glad that you are choosing to avoid the lifestyle.

“But she would be so good at it! Did you see what she did to that kid? Imagine if he was a criminal? Instantly subdued!” Ned lowers his voice. “Don’t you think Spider-Man would need a partner one day?”

“Spider-Man is fine,” Peter says. “He does not need thugs floating around in the air.”

“Whatever you say, dude.” Ned drops the subject for now. He is pretty sure they will have this discussion again when you display more of your powers. “So, I saw the news last night. How the heck did you manage to get out of _that_?”

…

Megan is watching you walking back and forth in the living room, flipping your phone over and over in your hands, and thinks about how long it is going to take before you successfully erode the hardwood floor with your pacing. You have not let go of your phone since your last text and Megan is curious as to what Peter has told you.

Did he make a move on MJ? Did Something happen to Aunt May? Did Peter lose the Stark Internship? Did Peter’s school bus get attacked by some giant alien robot? Did Mr. Stark finally admit that Peter is his long lost son and decide to adopt him?

There were so many possibilities and they all seemed to involve Peter so Megan decided to stay quiet for a little longer. You would probably snap out of your trance soon.

Soon did not come for another hour and Megan nearly dropped the book she was holding when you plopped down next to her, pressing your face into the plush pillows.

“So…?” Megan began, marking her page before putting the book away. “You wanna talk about it?”

“I think I’m going to throw up,” you tell her, peaking at her while still having part of your face hidden by the pillow. “I will throw up.”

“Do not throw up.”

“Something is going to happen,” you say, adjusting yourself so that you were sitting normally. “Something bad.”

“You said that last week and the only bad thing that happened to you was that your ice cream rolled off the cone when you licked it.”

“That WAS bad, Megan. Terrible. A tragedy.” Megan gives you a look and you refocus. “Peter has a field trip today. To the MoMA.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad. I mean, unless you don’t like art.”

“I don’t think he’s going to make it there,” you say and you are fiddling with your phone again. “I want him to leave but he isn’t answering his phone.”

“He’s probably asleep on the bus…also you are being paranoid. Probably,” Megan is feeling anxious now, too. Your energy is contagious. “How about you, like, use your telepathic link with him?”

You frown. “Oh. Because that worked out so well for me last time.”

“Which is worse, something happening to Peter because you didn’t warn him or you finding him thinking about sneaking MJ off to make out behind some statues?”

You are quiet and Megan yells your name in frustration.

“Okay, okay. Fine…,” you pause and run your fingers through your hair. “Fine! Ugh. Fine, fine, fine.”

“Are you going to do it?” Megan asks as you continue to say “fine” to yourself.

“Shh shh! I’m connecting,” you put your hands over your eyes and concentrate on finding Peter. You figure out the route he is taking to the Museum of Modern Art and search the general area. It takes you a while to find him and when you do, you realize you are too late.

 _Peter?_ Your mind panics when you see flashes of a fight go through his mind. You see the space ship outside his bus’s window and how he immediately leaps (or swings) into action when Ned distracts the class.

Peter’s mind says your name, a moment of confusion laced in his thoughts, before you feel immense regret wash over him.

 _I-I’m sorry,_ Peter says and you can feel his thoughts go further and further away from you. He says your name again and you force yourself to hold on, to listen to his thoughts but his mind is cut off from your so forcefully that you let out a yell, falling off the couch.

“He’s gone,” you say to Megan, tears in your eyes. “I can’t find him.”


	17. This is not a Daycare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is finds himself in space and you find yourself at the New Avengers Facility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 17/18 years old  
> Reader - 13 years old

Oh, Peter should have a stayed on the bus. Alien attacks are so beyond the responsibilities of a Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, probably beyond the responsibilities of most Earth superheroes, yet here he is, zipping past buildings, running after a wizard. He thought things would go easy. He stopped that big alien guy’s weapon from smashing Mr. Stark with ease but then he was thrown aside like he was nothing. He got back on his feet pretty quickly, swinging to Mr. Stark’s aid, he smashed half a taxi on the big alien guy(!), but next thing he knew, he was being beamed up into the sky after catching up with the wizard. He is scared, this was something he never thought he would get to experience, but after calling Mr. Stark’s attention, he can only think about how much his face hurts from having a billboard smack him.

He really should have stayed on the bus.

Or maybe he should have at least listened to Mr. Stark when he sent him back to Earth in his brand new suit. He did not need to sneak into the flying metal donut, but something in him told him that Mr. Stark should not be alone. After all, he cannot be a Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man if there was no neighborhood.

The space ship is leaving Earth’s atmosphere and Peter wonders when he is going to go back. He thinks Ned will know where he went, he has to, but who is going to tell Aunt May? Oh, God. Who is going to tell you? It seemed like only yesterday you were messaging him about how you could not wait to see him and Aunt May during your next long weekend because texting him the details about how Colossus had brought home a strange, funny albeit vulgar man into the mansion would not do the story justice. Peter hopes that he is going to be back home by then or else Aunt May is going to find a way to get some sort of space travel permit to drag him back to Queens by his ear.

 _Peter?_ He hears your voice in his head and for a second he thinks he is imagining thinks. You sound scared, almost like you are panicking, and he is sorry that he cannot be there to comfort you. He thinks that the events back down on Earth has finally made it on the news.

He wants to tell you so many things as he feels himself go farther and farther away. He wants you to send messages to Aunt May, to Ned, to the rest of the Avengers, but he cannot bring himself to because all he is thinking about is how he had promised you that being away from each other was not going to last forever but now he is in space and he cannot say that he can’t keep his word.

 _I-I’m sorry,_ he thinks because he is. He really is. He is sorry that he is leaving you, Aunt May, and Ned behind. He is sorry that he had the chance to come back to Earth and he did not take it. He is sorry that things are starting to look like forever.

He feels your presence leave his mind, your telepathic connecting cut, and Peter swears he has never felt lonelier in his entire life. He looks at his surroundings, the only light is coming from his suit, and he forces himself to focus on the mission at hand. It was going to be of no use to him if he thinks about what he has left behind. He can only look forward now.

First mission: look for Mr. Stark.

…

You wake up in the medical bay, white ceilings staring back at you, and you find that your arms and legs are restrained. The memory of pain and loss and utter panic and anger flash in your mind and you realize that Professor X had to subdue you less you attack everyone in the entire mansion. You remember pushing Megan away from you and losing control over your powers, sending furniture flying and nearly sending the chandelier crashing down. You remember children screaming and older mutants shielding them from your wrath. You are pretty sure some teachers have held you down, tried to get you to come to your senses. It was only when Professor X seeped into your thoughts, using his own powers on you, that you were finally able to calm down, to go to sleep.

You think you have a lot of explaining and apologizing to do. You think that maybe you have hurt your friends in your moment of grief and anguish but right now you cannot bring yourself to care.

Peter Parker is no longer on this damn planet and you have no idea where he is.

You use your powers to remove the restraints and you can see that Beast is quietly working at his computer. You read his mind and see that he knows that you are awake but is giving you time to adjust. There is nothing wrong with your vitals. You are sad. You are hurt. You are angry. There is nothing he can give you to help you. All you need is time.

You do not know how much of that you have.

You remember your notebook and how all future yous have spoken to you, talked to you about your powers and their abilities. You think that they have mentioned this event in their history before, but you know they did not go into detail. You search your mind for them and find that you are greeted by many doors. One of the first things Professor X had taught you was to compartmentalize your thoughts, let in the thoughts that you needed and keep out those that are distracting and dangerous. You have not opened their doors since you have locked them up.

You reach out for one, the one who spoke of people disappearing, and you find that the doorknob shocks you.

 _Get out of my head, Professor,_ you say when you feel his presence.

 _I’m afraid that I cannot let you do that,_ Professor X says to you in his gentle tone and although speaking to him has always but you at ease, tonight you just cannot deal with his presence.

_I need to find a way to fix this. I need to bring him back._

_And do you think consulting with the future will help you? Their future is not yours,_ the way Professor X says your name makes you grind your teeth, _they do not have the answers that you seek._

 _Then who does?_ You glare at the wall in front of you, pretending that it is the man in the wheelchair or maybe whoever theorized time travel because if your present did not lead to any of the future yous who have been communicating with you, then what was the point?

…

You think about how optimistic and trusting Professor X and the rest of the teachers are in the X-Mansion. They have taught you and the other mutants all you needed to know about your powers, how to control them and how to get stronger, and to what end? For you to use it against them? Well, that is their fault, really. If Professor X did not want you learning how to block your mind from other telepaths, then he should not have taught you how.

You try not to think about the possibility of your escape being your supervillain origin story. If you could not find the energy in you to save the city, then you definitely did not have the energy to destroy it.

You simply wanted to find people who could tell you what the heck is going on.

Your phone is blowing up with texts from Megan, Aaron, Jason, and Ned. Ned is asking you if you have heard anything from Peter and that Aunt May is going out of her mind. They both know that he was on the spaceship but neither of them want to admit it. You do not want to admit it either but the feeling of losing your link with Peter is like a migraine, a constant reminder that he is way out of your reach.

The future does not have any answers for you. It seems like they all went through different paths to get where they are and all you can tell is that if in some way your path is similar to theirs, then there is a lot of death and destruction waiting for you. You try not to think about that too much. You try to focus on the possibility of you and Peter being together again. You like that future and even if you cannot get the exact same thing, you want something close to it.

Less you get the future where you help cause destruction and mayhem around the city—anger and injustice fueling you.

There is no bus that can take you to where you want to go so you use muster all your strength and concentration and goddamn if you are going to float four feet off the ground to the New Avengers Facility so be it. As long as you get there, you do not care what happens to you. It takes you hours to find your way out of the trees and you nearly suffocate from sending yourself further up into the air so that you could see where you are going from a better view, but you manage to make it to the compound with just enough of your powers to bypass the security system and get in. The sun is rising when a man finds you, his legs supported by braces.

“Who—How?” He begins to ask and you raise your hand towards him, letting his mind know all that it needs to in order for him to trust you. You send him your memories of Mr. Stark and of Peter Parker, he knows where you study, who you are associated with, and that he can trust you.

“I did not think we were bringing another kid into this mess,” Rhodey says as he helps you to your feet.

“I’m not staying long,” you tell him. “I just need to know what’s going on and what I can do to get Peter back on the ground.”

“Please tell me you are at least sixteen.”

You give him an apologetic look. “Let’s just say I can’t watch some movies without supervision.”

“ _Jesus,_ ” Rhodey breathes out even thought he was already expecting such an answer. He had seen your life flash before his eyes. “We should really put an age restriction on this gig.”

…

Your mind is still pounding from the strong lecture you got from Professor X as well as the phone call you received from Aunt May. Apparently, not all teens could get away with the excuse of saving the world. You actually had Rhodey come talk to Aunt May and he barely even got her permission before he had to answer a call from the Secretary of State. You made sure that you were out of the room, hiding in the shadows, as Rhodey discussed business. You did not want to trouble him anymore than you already did.

You meet Doctor Banner in the kitchen. You were preparing yourself a sandwich when he walked in through the door and he had to take a double take just to make sure you were really standing there.

“Have I—Do we know each other?” He asks, fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket.

You introduce yourself. “I’m, uh, a friend of Peter’s…and Mr. Stark.” You read his mind, finding out that he has no idea who Spider-Man is.

“I don’t think you’re an Avenger,” Dr. Banner says and you can tell that he is very suspicious of you, “I…I haven't been back in a while, but I don’t think we recruit this young.”

“I’m not really planning on sticking around. Just long enough to help you all out,” You offer him half of your sandwich and he politely declines. You shrug your shoulders and just before you can take a bite, you hear thoughts of people you have never met before. “I think your friends have arrived.”

Dr. Banner leaves for the room Rhodey is in and you follow him closely. You feel a presence seep into your mind and you find out that there is another telepath in the room. You the fight she was in last night and how her lover has been harmed. He is targeted by the aliens who attacked Earth and you start to think that maybe it was a stupid idea to leave the X-Mansion. You feel her prod your memories and you let her, thinking it is an easier way to gain her trust.

You watch as Dr. Banner makes himself known to his friends and you try to keep yourself hidden but you should have known better seeing as you are literally in the same room as superheroes. If they could not detect a thirteen-year-old girl, then the world would be doomed. They do not attack you, thank God, and you let Rhodey explain your presence.

“I didn’t think we started running a daycare,” the blonde woman says, her lips quirked slightly with amusement. You are starting to get tired of how these people keep pointing out your age.

“We aren’t,” Rhodey sighs. “She’s with that spiderboy.”

“Spider-Man,” you correct.

“What?” Dr. Banner asks.

“Peter went up into the sky with Mr. Stark and I want to know how to get them back down,” you tell them. You ignore the possibility that you cannot get them back down. “I don’t know how big a problem you are going to face but something tells me you are going to need all the help you can get.”


	18. Just Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is finally an Avenger and Sam gives you permission to swear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 17/18 years old  
> Reader - 13 years old

Peter finds Mr. Stark easily enough and he thinks that he nearly gets himself grounded in space for the words vomit that is coming out of his mouth. He cannot help it. Not even two years ago he took his first plane ride…ever… and now he is in space with an alien bad guy, a wizard, Mr. Stark, and… is that cloak moving on its own? Peter guesses he has seen weirder things in his lifetime.

Anyway, Mr. Stark is not happy that Peter has snuck onto the ship but now he has no choice but to let the teen help so he asks Peter to assess the situation below them. The alien guy—Mr. Stark has called him Squidward and, as far as names go, it seems pretty accurate to call him that. Peter cannot judge. He has named his suit’s AI KAREN, after all—has glass-like needles pointing at the wizard, threatening him. It seems like they do not have much time to save him.

Peter thinks back to a movie night he had with Ned and you a few months back when you visited from the X-Mansion. It was Ned’s idea, really, and you were so against it (after the Battle in New York, you have been against watching alien movies because now there is proof of other life in the solar system and, well, _Alien_ did not really paint the species in a good light) but you did not want to be left out so you sat between them, cowering behind one of Aunt May’s plush pillows, watching as aliens burst out of peoples’ chests. You have had nightmares for days after that and, as revenge, you would make Ned and him dream about having aliens burst out of their chests. It had been a long sleepless month for all three of you and Peter swore that they would stop having horror movies for movie night when you visit.

The plan worked better than Peter thought, which is good seeing as the wizard’s life depended on him and Mr. Star. Mr. Stark did a good job in getting rid of Squidward, shooting the side of the spaceship so that the alien got sucked out. The wizard’s cloak tried to keep the wizard from following suit but its grip was not strong enough. Peter saves the wizard, catching him with his web but the vortex is too strong and, in that moment, Peter thought that he was done for until spider-like legs sprouted from his back.

He could not wait to tell Ned and you all about it. (He thinks that you two would not believe him. Especially if he tells you about the wizard’s cloak, which, in his opinion, is a bit aloof.)

You know, when he gets back to Earth.

God, did he miss Earth.

How long has he been up here? Thirty minutes? An hour? It felt like forever.

Peter shakes his head. He tells himself to think positive. To not think about home. He needs to focus.

But it is hard to focus on anything in this spaceship, even if his mind wants to study the alien technology, because all he can look at is the large window showing him a galaxy that he has only ever seen in books and the internet. He thinks about you and how you would talk about leaving the city one day to finally get to see the stars in all its glory. You never understood constellations, you could not connect the right stars to each other to trace the shapes, but you wanted to try and you hated that the city lights kept the night sky starless.

Peter hopes that you are okay, wherever you are. He hopes that the aliens have left Earth alone and that you are safe back at the X-Mansion. He thinks that the X-Men would know what to do if aliens decided to attack a house full of mutants. Peter almost smiles at the thought. The aliens would not have a chance. You would probably make them believe that they had humans sprouting out their chests.

A shiver runs down Peter’s spine.

He wishes that he can delete that thought.

Ugh.

Mr. Stark and the wizard are arguing and Peter can only watch them quietly until he felt the need to tell Mr. Stark that he is, in fact, back up. Unfortunately, Mr. Stark does not feel the same way and shoots down the idea, calling him a stowaway. Peter cannot argue with him.

“What is he, your ward?” The wizard asks, confused as to how Peter and Mr. Stark is related.

“No… I’m Peter, by the way,” Peter introduces himself before mentally kicking himself. He really is bad at keeping his identity a secret.

“Dr. Strange,” says the wizard.

_See, Peter? Use your made up name. That is how you do not get your secret exposed._ Peter reprimands himself as he reintroduces himself as Spider-Man. Sometimes he wishes he had your ability to erase people’s memories with how bad he is at keeping his secret. Maybe he should try his hand at inventing that device they used in Men in Black? ( Maybe Mr. Stark already has and has not told anyone about it.)It would really come in handy but Peter thinks that with his luck, he would probably just end up erasing his own mind.

Mr. Stark and Dr. Strange do not seem to get along and Peter is left helpless watching them. He wonders if this is how you felt when your parents argued and he thinks he is lucky that he never got to witness that. Dr. Strange wants to know if Mr. Stark can find a way to get them back home, an idea that Peter is all for, but Mr. Stark is thinking out loud, saying maybe it is better if they don’t. that it is better to take the fight to the main boss.

Peter is not quite sure who this main boss is and at this point he is too afraid to ask.

“Alright, kid,” Mr. Stark begins, walking up to Peter and doing a knighting motion with his hand, “you are an Avenger now.”

Peter knows that this is the moment he has been waiting for ever since he walked into his apartment and saw Mr. Stark waiting for him in his living room.

It does not feel as good as he thought it would.

…

You are sitting next to Wanda on the plane…jet…air ship…you are not quite sure what to call it and because you are technically just tagging along, you do not want to bother the adults with your questions. You can imagine that there are bigger things they rather be doing than entertaining a thirteen-year-old.  Wanda has her hand on Vision’s shoulder, rubbing her thumb against him in an act of comfort, and you think that you should look away, give them some privacy, but you cannot tear your eyes away, not even when Vision places his own hand on top of hers.

Out of habit, you slip into Wanda’s mind and see the night they had. It was supposed to be peaceful, they were talking about Vision’s departure and when they would see each other again, when aliens attacked them, trying to get the stone in Vision’s head. Dr. Banner had explained the importance and power of his stone, all the stones, and what would happen if Thanos would get a hold of all of them. You cannot say that you completely understand, magic and space was really out of your area, but you know that Thanos is dangerous and should be stopped. If destroying the mind stone was the only way, then so be it.

You accidentally dwell deeper into Wanda’s memories, seeing how she was afraid of her own power and the destruction she accidentally caused. You see her regret and her fear. You also see her brother. Their close bond and how broken and angry she was when he had died. She was not even there when it happened but she felt it and it destroyed her.

_You are very nosy,_ Wanda’s voice seeps into your mind and you feel your cheeks warm out of embarrassment. She is not even looking at you, still focusing on Vision, but you feel exposed.

_Sorry,_ you apologize, _it was an accident._

_I have had my fair share of peeking into peoples’ minds…I know when something is an accident._

_It’s just, it’s nice to have someone like me around, you know?_

Wanda adjusts herself in her seat. _I have seen your memories as well. You are surrounded by people just like you._

Your eyes widen, you had not even felt her presence in your head, and you turn your gaze to the floor. You do not want Vision to catch onto your mental conversation although, something inside tells you that he already knew.

_This is…different,_ you confess. _I don’t know how to explain it but—_

_It is alright. I feel it, too._ Wanda pauses and allows you to see her memories of when she and her brother had been experimented on by HYRDA. It is difficult to watch and you are glad that the images flash through your mind quickly. _I…although I have this power and it has been given to me through…non-Earthly means…I do not think I can “connect” to space._

_I didn’t think so._ You turn your gaze to look at Wanda and you offer her a smile. She could not be that much older than Peter but, like him, she has seen too much. You have seen that she has seen too much.

_I remember fighting the boy…Peter…he is good,_ Wanda tells you and you nod your head, waiting for her to continue. _He was a bit off a pain in the ass but that was because we were on opposite sides._

You could not help but let out a laugh, causing everyone to look at your questioningly. You cover your mouth with your hand and shake your head.

“Sorry, sorry,” you tell them before turning back to Wanda, “It’s true though, he is kind of a butt.”

“Did she just say butt instead off ass?” Sam asks from the pilot’s seat. “As a responsible adult, I’m say you’re allowed to say ass.”

“Sam,” Captain America says, his tone almost scolding.

“Oh don’t use that tone,” Black Widow says from her seat, smirk on her lips.  “You swear like a sailor…or is it soldier?”

“You did lose your ‘language!’ privileges after Ultron, Cap,” Dr. Banner chimes in.

“Never gonna let me live that down, are you?” Captain America sighs although there’s a slight smile on his lips.

_I think my idea of Captain America just flew out the window,_ you tell Wanda and show her the video of Captain America that school are supposed to show their students. It was Wanda now who could not hold in a laugh.

“Are those really real?”

“Unfortunately,” you say, “Or fortunately, I haven’t decided yet.”

You think to yourself that this is good.

Laughing is good.

It keeps your mind off the fact that the end of the world could happen at any moment.

Wanda teaches you a couple of tricks that she has learned over the years and you think that Professor X has really been training you the hard way seeing as Wanda seemed to just copy-paste her knowledge into your mind. Vision likes that you are distracting Wanda, he does not like that she cannot accept the fact that they need to destroy the stone, but you know that the moment you all land in Wakanda, this light hearted atmosphere is going to vanish.


	19. The Battle Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are not looking good for Peter in space and things are not looking any better for you down on Earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 17/18 years old  
> Reader - 13 years old

Peter never thought that he would find himself in space, let alone on another planet, and yet here he is, on some unknown planet with Mr. Stark, Dr. Strange, and the Guardians of the Galaxy. Peter thinks that he should be excited, it is not every day that he finds himself out in space, but he cannot bring himself to enjoy the moment due to the fact that they had just crash landed the spaceship they were on and were practically attacked by the Guardians. That, and well, they need to muster up a plan for when Thanos finds them.

That, Peter chooses to not focus on too much lest he shows his nerves and fear on his face. In an attempt to distract himself, Peter chooses to focus on the Guardians.

Peter likes to think that he has seen his fair share of weird people. After all, he has fought alongside the Avengers, went head to head with the Vulture, is neighbors with you, a mutant, _and_ he is in high school—weird people left and right, himself included. That said, Peter is pretty sure that the Guardians of the Galaxy are on a whole other level. It must be because they are from space.

Well, most of them, that is.

Mr. Stark has established that Mr. Lord…Star-Lord (?) is from Earth but sometimes Peter finds himself thinking otherwise. This man has probably been up in space longer than he has been on Earth. He thinks _Footloose_ is the greatest movie of all time.

Definitely influenced by aliens.

Peter tries not to get distracted by Star-Lord’s companions, especially the woman with the antennae. He is probably lying when he says that he does not think she will put her alien eggs in him.

He really wishes you were here to peak into their minds and assure him that nothing is going to happen. No egg implanting. No chest exploding.

You would probably get along with them, though. You have more experience being with people with strange powers and wavelengths. Plus, you also think that _Footloose_ is a better movie than it really is.

“…definitely don’t want to dance with this guy, we just want the Gauntlet,” Mr. Stark says, drawing Peter’s attention back to him. “ _Excuse me_?” Peter is proud that he does not jump from Mr. Stark’s tone. “Are you yawning? In the middle of this? While I’m breaking it down? Huh? Did you hear what I said?”

The large, grey man was in fact yawning and although Peter was sure that he can very well handle himself, he feels scared for him. Mr. Stark is speaking in a tone that reminds Peter of a teacher, maybe even a father. It makes him feel like he cannot look at Mr. Stark in the eye due to guilt.

“I stopped listening after you said ‘we need a plan,’” the grey man admits.

Mr. Stark turns to Star-Lord. “Okay. Mr. Clean is clearly on his own page.”

“See, not winging it isn’t really what they…do.”

“Uh,” Peter says, raising his hand a little before pointing to the two aliens, “What exactly is it that they do?”

“Kick names, take ass,” the antennae lady says with conviction and the grey man agrees.

Peter cannot believe what he had just heard and when he turns his attention to Mr. Stark, he sees that Mr. Stark looks like he, too, cannot believe the situation he is in right now—in some unknown planet, with a wizard, a stowaway, a man called “Star-Lord,” and two aliens who do not seem to have a grasp of the situation that they are in.

Peter hopes that things back down on Earth are going a whole lot better.

…

You are standing by the large window trying to split your attention between looking out at the beautiful scenery Wakanda has to offer. You tell yourself that if you ever get the chance to, you should come back and explore. You think you would really enjoy getting out of the city, mingling with different people. You wonder if you would get along with Shuri. You have never met a real princess before and she is not what you imagined one to be. Just few feet away from you, you see Shuri discussing with the Avengers how she can help Vision.

Shuri says things, science-y…techy things, that go over your head and you are reminded of Peter and how he would tell you about how he is thinking of improving his Web fluid as well as his Web shooters. He had assured you that Mr. Stark’s work was perfect but he wanted to tinker. The memory brings a smile to your lips especially when Peter realized that he had a science project that he should be working on instead. His scramble to get all his materials in place had left his room in shambles and you had to help clean it up before Aunt May got home.

The smile slips off when you realize that you do are not sure when is the next time you are going to see Peter let alone listen to him list off different elements in the Periodic Table. You shake your head as if the action would shake away your thoughts, your memories, and you turn to approach the table Vision is lying on, wanting to try to listen to their discussion just to distract yourself. You were standing just behind Okoye when she lifted her wrist and tapped her bracelet, a hologram shooting out of the beads.

“Something has entered the atmosphere,” she says, her voice grave.

You look at the floating image of Earth and feel dread wash over you.  You know that the same feeling washes over everyone in the room but unlike you, they are braver, more experienced, and push away their nerves and any other feeling that would get in the way of their mission. You try to do the same.

You hear something come in contact with Wakanda’s energy dome and you jump. You look up at the ceiling out of reflex and your mind immediately seeps into Captain America’s because you wanted some assurance that things are going to be okay. You do not get the assurance you are looking for as more sounds of things crashing down come and you are wondering if you are actually hearing them or your mind has seeped into the heads of those stationed outside. You shake away Bucky’s confused thoughts out of your head (you sympathize with the man, knowing the feeling of wanting to stay out of conflict but also knowing that you can help) and you make your way back to the window and you feel everyone do the same. You see the sources of the noise and you feel your heart plummet.

Maybe it would have been better for you if you stayed in X-Mansion.

“It’s too late,” Vision says, pushing himself off of the table with Shuri’s help. “We need to destroy the stone now.”

Your eyes immediately shoot to the yellow stone on his forehead and you remember what Dr. Banner had said to you all before it was decided that going to Wakanda was Vision’s best option.

_“Thanos has the biggest army in the universe and he is not going to stop until he gets Vision’s stone.”_

You hope Wakanda’s army and Earth’s Mightiest Heroes are enough to go against the biggest army in the Universe.

“Vision get your ass back on the table,” Black Widow says, her tone making you think of a mother and how you cannot go against her words once she uses that tone.

“We will hold them off,” King T’Challa says, his voice calm. His bodyguards follow him as he heads towards the door and you watch their retreating figures, trying to calm your racing heart by listening to their thoughts. This is not their first fight and you can see that they are already rehearsing their moves in their heads, years of training have sharpened their senses and made them strong.

“Wanda,” Captain America brings you out of your thoughts and you and the Avenger (ex-Avenger? You still don’t quite understand if the Avengers are still a thing) look at him. “As soon as that stone is out of his head, you blow it to hell.”

“I will,” Wanda promises.

Captain America says your name next and you find yourself standing a little straighter. “You stay here,” he says and you cannot find it in yourself to argue. Frankly, you would have requested to stay out of the main fight anyway. “If anyone or anything comes in, you know what to do.”

“Gotcha,” you say, hoping your voice did not waver.

You do not quite know what to feel about the fact that Captain America thinks you know what to do if an alien monster comes through the doors. You think that maybe you should kill it but…do you even know how to kill an alien? Maybe you should barricade the door once Captain America walks out. That, at least, you know how to do.

…

You watch in horror as the energy dome opens and alien-like animal monsters (you have no idea what to call them and frankly you are not in the mindset to think of a clever name) scramble through to attack the Avengers and Wakanda’s army. You look up at the platform Shuri is on and see that she is working on Vision as fast as she can, Wanda is by his side, her gaze and attention on Vision, and you know that they do not need a play by play of what is happening outside.

You keep your mouth shut and try your best to avoid letting your emotions and thoughts seep into them.

You are not doing a very good job. Wanda says your name without tearing her eyes away from Vision.

“If you cannot handle the sight, you should step away from the window,” she tells you, her voice strong but you can still sense the waver.

You know this yet you cannot bring yourself to move from you spot. Your mind moves to the people outside and you listen to their thoughts, hearing nothing but their will to keep fighting and to stay alive. Sometimes you hear panic, especially when they are pushed down to the ground, but they always find a way to get back up and you try to mimic their strong mindset even if you are starting to feel your hands shake and your knees weaken.

You have just entered Dr. Banner’s mind and your eyes shoot to the spot in the field where you see dozens of the alien monsters pile on top of his armor.

“I think they’re going to need help,” you say as you look at Wanda and although you are afraid, you are ready to jump in as soon as you get the go signal. (You try to ignore the fact that this is probably what Peter feels every time he senses danger, the immediate reflex to jump in and help.) “I can go—”

You hear a noise you have never heard before come from outside and when you turn around, you see that there is a large bright beam of light coming from the sky and burning to the ground. You watch as something shoots out of the light and immediately attacks the aliens that surround it as well as those who were attacking Captain American and Dr. Banner. When the light disappears and there stands three figures of varying heights. You cannot tell who they are from where you are standing but you can hear thoughts of relief come from outside.

“I…help came, I think,” you say and Wanda takes a peak.

“That’s Thor,” Wanda says and you feel her relax just a bit.

“As in, the God?”

Wanda nods her head.

“Well, now I’ve seen everything,” you breathe out and continue to watch the battle from above. Something at the back of your head is telling you that although a literal God is on your side, you cannot quite relax just yet.


	20. The Battle Continues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter needs this plan to work so that he can go home and Wanda entrusts you with a big responsibility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 17/18 years old  
> Reader - 13 years old

Although now is not the right moment to be reminiscing, Peter cannot help but remember a video you sent him a few weeks ago. Your friends at the X-Mansion were undergoing training for their powers and you were videoing them from the sidelines. Megan, your roommate, was standing in the middle of the field portals would appear around her, your schoolmates jumping in and out of them, trying to attack her. Megan would shoot out rocks at them as her main attack but because some of the rocks would end up going through the portals, she ended up getting hit by her own projectiles. It was probably frustrating for the young mutant but from your peals of laughter from behind the phone, Peter knew that you were having a grand time watching from the sidelines.

 _This plan has got to work. It just has to._ Peter finds his mind chanting, reassuring himself that if a bunch of teenagers can execute it, then a bunch of Superheroes would be able to do it with no problem at all.

Peter tries not to listen in on Dr. Strange and Thanos’ conversation. He did not want to psych himself out. He was needed to make this plan a success. He needed to stay focused. Wait for the signal.

He focuses his gaze on Dr. Strange and Thanos even if he does not want to look at the Titan. He plays the plan over and over in his head, imagining nothing but a successful ending.

It has to be a success.

If— _When_ they win, he can finally go home and be with Aunt May, Ned, and you. He can show off his shiny new suit before pealing it off and having a nice hot shower, scrub away his sweat and the space dust off his skin. After, he will let you choose what movie to watch for the night because he is sure he caused you a great deal of anxiety and fear from your last conversation and he will fall asleep in the middle of it (because goddamn is he tired), curled up in the soft blanket Aunt May likes to keep draped over the sofa.

This plan has to work.

It will work.

“You can find our will,” Dr. Strange begins, drawing Peter out of his thoughts and immediately he is in fight mode, “equal yours.”

That is the signal.

Thanos is confused and Mr. Stark is flying down on him, crushing him under a massive piece of spaceship hull.  

“Piece of cake, Quill,” Mr. Stark says.

“Yeah, if your goal was to piss him off,” Star-Lord says, jumping out of his hiding spot.

That did not sound good but Peter does not have time to dwell on that. Thanos easily frees himself from the spaceship, using the stones to reduce the ship into pieces and change them into bats that swarm and push Mr. Stark away. Peter jumps into action, shooting a web at Thanos’ face before swinging towards him and punching him in the face.

Jesus Christ did Thanos have a hard jaw.

Drax and Dr. Strange work together to fight Thanos and Star-Lord is not too far behind, flying towards the fight. Star-Lord shoots Thanos a couple of times before using Dr. Strange’s energy platforms to get closer to Thanos and place an electric bomb on his back. He falls into a portal just before the bomb detonates, stunning the Titan. Dr. Strange’s cloak wraps around the Gauntlet and Peter jumps into a portal that leads him right to Thanos’ side, allowing him to land another good punch on the Titan before entering another portal.

Everything goes by so fast and Peter hears nothing but his heart beating in his ears. He appears through another portal, grabbing onto Thanos’ head and using it to help him swing a kick into his stomach before leaping into another portal. He appears behind Thanos, kicking him in the jaw before disappearing once more. The sensation is thrilling. Peter has never felt this way before and he is excited. He feels that he has the upper hand—

Thanos grabs onto his neck when he jumps out of the portal and Peter holds in a gasp of pain when he is smashed into the ground. He grabs Thanos’ hands, trying to pry it off of him but Thanos lifts him back up and throws him away without any effort. He smashes into Dr. Strange before he collides into something else, knocking him out for a moment.

When Peter comes to his senses, he sees that Thanos has blasted Mr. Stark away and Peter is, again, leaping, or swinging, into action. He shots out a web to stick onto Thanos’ gauntlet and when he lands, he pulls on it with all his might. Thanos is so much stronger than him and pulls him off the ground. Peter practically flies into the Titan’s fist and it takes everything in him to stay awake and in the fight.

Now is not the time to think about what would happen if he stayed on this bus.

He made his decision and goddammit he is going to stick to it because this purple, Crimson chin wannabe freak is really starting to piss him off.

Thanos is rammed by a spaceship and when Peter finally swings to his location, he sees that Dr. Strange, Drax, and Star-Lord are working together to get the gauntlet off. Peter webs him up and summons all his strength to hold him back. The Iron Spider legs shoot out of his suit’s back and dig themselves into the ground, helping Peter keep his footing.

Dr. Strange creates a portal just above Thanos’ head and Mantis lands on his shoulders, using her powers to subdue the Titan.

Mr. Stark calls for Peter’s help and when Peter grabs hold onto the gauntlet, he cannot help but think that this is it. That they have one. Just a bit more and they will get the gauntlet off and Thanos would lose his power.

Just a bit more and he can go home.

Peter is so focused on pulling the gauntlet off that he cannot bring himself to pay attention to Star-Lord as he walks up to Thanos and questions him. He needs to get this off. Jesus. Why is it so hard? Did he glue this thing on or something?

Maybe they should just chop off his arm.

Okay. Morbid thought. Too far.

Think Dory. Just keep pulling.

“He is in anguish!” Mantis cries out. “He mourns!”

 _Just keep pulling, Pete, you got this._ Peter digs his heels into the ground. _You got this._

“Gamora…” _Oh. She’s new…FOCUS PETER._ “He took her to Vormir… he came back with the soul stone… she didn’t.”

Peter senses something bad is going to happen. To be fair, ever since he saw that flying, metal donut, he has been sensing that something bad was going to happen, and bad things did happen, but this is different. The feeling is much more powerful, enough to scare him to his very core, but Peter stands his ground.

_You’re almost there, Pete. You can go home._

_…_

“Wanda?” You say, your eyes glued to the fight happening below you. You thought that things were going well, especially with a God on your side, but the nagging voice at the back of your head that has been telling you the worse is yet to happen proves to be correct when you see that something is burrowing under the ground. “I hate to say it but I think this is bigger than we thought.”

Wanda is by your side immediately and you both watch as large, bladed wheel-like vehicles emerge from the ground and cause the army to retreat. You look at her, waiting for instruction.

“I have to go,” Wanda says and you immediately read her mind.

“You don’t have to,” you say because you know she wants to be here with Vision, “I can help them. We practically have the same power.”

Wanda says your name gently and places her hand on your head, her fingers sliding through your hair before they land on your shoulder. You feel comforted and you realize that your voice was shaking.

“I cannot send you out there. It is not safe,” she squeezes your shoulder and turns to Vision. “Protect him.”

“Wanda—”

“I have to go. Please, protect him.”

You swallow hard and nod your head, not trusting your voice. Wanda offers you a small smile before going to Vision, holding onto his hand and speaking to him in a language you do not understand. She leaves immediately and you tear yourself away from the window and stand by Vision’s side, looking up at Shuri from time to time, watching as she does not lose her focus despite knowing that things outside are not going well.

“She is strong,” you say to Vision.

“I dare say she is the strongest Avenger,” Vision replies, his voice strained. You imagine practically having your brain picked apart is not fun. You refrain from thinking that you probably did the same to some of the people you have brainwashed before.

“I believe you.” You look away from him because you are a little embarrassed since you thought that she was strong for being able to leave Vision when she clearly did not want to. You look up at Shuri’s platform and your eyes widen when you hear the thoughts of someone who should not be there.

You immediately raise your hands when you see the guard standing by the door being attacked by a large alien. You hate yourself for not sensing the alien’s thoughts sooner, he was probably there longer than you would have liked, but you push your thoughts away and focus. You mentally apologize to him when his back hits the force field you created. Shuri turns back for just a second before she gets back to work, her fingers moving faster than ever. You let out a grunt when the alien pushes against your force field with all his might.

“S-Shuri!” You cry out, not wanting to rush her but also needing her to pick up the pace.

Shuri’s bodyguard is at the ready when the alien breaks your force field, effectively pushing you back. The bodyguard keeps him at bay as you muster a shield around Shuri just so she can work on Vision a little longer. The bodyguard is hit and she falls to the ground, her weapon skidding across the floor. You use your powers to lift her spear and you stab the alien. He lets out a grunt of pain and shock before his eyes focus on you. He tears the spear out of his arm and he throws it at you. You immediately catch it with your powers but, in doing so, your shield around Shuri disappears.

Shuri is not phased. She is quick to close whatever she was using to work on Vision and she pulls out her weapon and shoots the alien several times before he swings his own weapon, causing her to dodge his attack lest she gets sliced in half. You push yourself off the ground, flying towards him and pushing him against the wall with your power.

He lets out an angry yell and you try to slip into his mind, trying to get him under his control like you did your parents, but an alien’s mind is so much more different than that of a human and you are welcomed by memories and feeling you do not understand before he pushes you out and you lose your hold on him. You and Shuri are both pushed back, your back making contact with glass, before you tumble to the ground. You push yourself up when you realize that Vision is still on the table and you force the alien to stop. He pushes against your hold on him and he glares down at you. You watch as he raises his weapon, ready to strike you when Vision tackles him, forcing the both of them to break the window and fall out.

“VISION!” You scream and before you know it, you are pushing yourself off the ground and following him.

…

You catch Vision just as he is thrown to the ground by another alien, this guy is larger than the one a while ago and you see that he is holding a large ax-like weapon. Vision is holding onto his wounded side and you angle yourself so that you are standing in front of him.

“Get away from here,” Vision says to you, gasping out your name. “I cannot let you fight them.”

“A little too late for that,” you say to him, using your powers to lift up the nearest boulder-like rock you can find and hurling it at them. The ax wielding one breaks the bolder with ease and you are ready to find something else to attack them with when Dr. Banner arrives. The ground shakes when he lands and he holds his arms out in front of him. You hear the sounds of his blasters warming up, ready to shoot.

“Oh no you don’t,” Dr. Banner says and you slowly help Vision back away from the scene. You need to get him as far away from the enemy as possible. “This isn’t going to be like New York, pal. This suit’s already kicked the crap out of the Hulk.”

You are just about to get Vision to fully stand up when the ax-alien attacks Dr. Banner. Dr. Banner aims his blast towards the ground and sends the two of them flying.  You try not to watch where they went and force Vision up on his feet. You softly apologize to him before you have him following you deeper into the forest.  

“C’mon, we got to—AH!” You feel someone grab the back of your neck, pulling you up so your feet no longer touch the ground. You immediately reach up, trying to keep the alien from strangling you, and your eyes meet Vision’s before you feel yourself being thrown aside. Your back hits a tree, or a rock, you do not even know. All you know that it was just a hard place that makes you let out a gasp and you feel yourself black out for a second.

When you come to your senses, you are more pissed than hurt or afraid.

“What an ass,” you seethe when you shake the spots out of your eyes and struggle to push yourself off the ground, fingers digging into the soil.

The ground shakes beneath you once more but now it is due to your power. You look at the alien just as he is about to close in on Vision and you force him off the ground just as he did to you. You hold him up in the air for a few seconds before you slam him down, bring him back up, and use him as a makeshift ax on the trees, slamming against them enough times to break them in half.

When you drop the alien on the ground like a dead weight, you think you have won. You crawl over to Vision and check to see if he is okay. He seems to have seen better days but at least he is alive.

“We have to get out of here,” you say to him as if it is not common sense and the two of you are just about to bolt (or whatever form that would be in your injured conditions) when Vision lets out a gasp. You look at him, eyes wide, and you realize a little too late that he has been impaled through you.

You look down at your abdomen and see the blade that is pushed through you and Vision. You see your blood seeping through your clothes and you wonder if what is dropping onto the soil is yours or his. You feel the pain when the blade is removed and you and Vision fall into a heap on the ground. Vision is against a tree’s trunk while you land just by his feet. 

In the distance you hear the thoughts of Captain America and you feel your vision darkening.

 _Nearly there,_ you hear Captain America’s thoughts and you feel comforted by them, knowing that help is on the way.

The alien is talking to Vision but his voice if muffled. You are starting to lose control of your senses and just as the world is beginning to fade from you, you use everything that is in you to reach for Peter because what is the point of it all if you cannot hear his voice one last time.


	21. The Battle Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter lost and so did you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker - 17/18 years old  
> Reader - 13 years old

Peter was so close. He had slipped it off of his wrist and he was about to fall backwards when he felt that it was finally off of his hand when Thanos grabbed hold of the gauntlet just in time, making Peter fall backwards, onto the ground. He was so close. He nearly had it. If it were not for Star-Lord—no, Peter did not have time to think about that because Mantis had been thrown away like she was nothing and he is pretty sure she is not conscious. He leaps to his feet and goes after her, wrapping her in his arms and activating the Iron Spider’s legs to help break their fall.

They land far away from the main fight and Peter can only watch the moment happen before him because the reality that maybe this is not the one outcome out of fourteen million that they win is hitting him so hard that he feels like he cannot breathe.

If he knew that this was going to be the end, he would have spent more time with Aunt May and Ned instead of going out at night, waiting for crime to happen. He would have visited you more at the X-Mansion, learned more about your time there, about your powers. Maybe he could have helped you out more, be it school or otherwise. He would have made more of an effort in school, maybe he would not have quit as many clubs as he did. Maybe he would have told MJ how he felt, maybe even hinted at it.

Peter thinks that he is too young to have so many regrets and he cannot bring himself to believe that this is the end of it all.

He is just about to gather his bearings, force himself to rejoin the fight, to help the adults out (oh my God, he really is just a kid compared to everyone here), when something crashes into the planet and sends everything and everyone flying. The gravitational pull of the planet seems to have been disturbed and Peter works fast to save his unconscious companions. He brings Mantis around with him, swinging around and avoiding debris, until he finds a place to web her to. He does the same for the others, quickly webbing them before the fly into orbit.

He regrets not knowing anyone’s names.

…

Visions falls in a heap next to you and, for a moment, he thinks that the two of you are done for. Both your wounds are fatal and the alien monster has the upper hand. He need only to attack him once more, hit him where it would _really_ hurt. Vision thinks he has just enough power in him to hold him off, he just has to, but Vision is not confident that he will last long. He thinks of a game plan, a way to save not only himself but you, when Captain Rogers appears, seemingly out of nowhere, and tackles the alien down.

“Get out of here!” Captain Rogers orders him before he turns back to his opponent. Vision does not need to be told twice but he finds that he does not have it in him to push himself off the ground. He is in too much pain, too damaged. You are still unconscious next to him, eyes closed and barely breathing. You probably—desperately need medical attention.

Even if Vision could get himself to stand, he cannot bring you along with him if he manages to even walk.

“GO!” Captain Rogers urges when he sees that Vision is still in the same spot. Vision supposes that Captain Rogers has not caught sight of you or else he would have done something to help.

Vision forces himself to move once more, thinking of how to bring you along with him. It is his fault, really, that you are in the situation that you are in now. He thinks that, if you were awake, like all the other heroes, himself included, you would insist that it was your job.

If he makes it out of this fight alive, he makes a note to talk to Wanda about entrusting such a heavy responsibility to thirteen year olds.

Then again, if you were not around to help him, Vision does not think he would have made it this far.

Captain Rogers is able to disarm the alien, forcing the weapon to the ground. They fight hand to hand, moving further away from the weapon and Visions sees this as his chance. Instead of escaping, because honestly there is no way he can take you along with him, he makes a move towards the weapon, forcing himself to ignore the sharp shooting pain all over his body.

The alien pushes Captain Rogers to the ground and it looks like the hero is struggling to get himself free. Vision grabs hold of the weapon and in one swift movement, stabs the alien through his back. He pushes it further in, making sure that the blade is deep, and lifts him off of Captain Rogers before letting him fall to the side. The mere act takes all of Vision’s energy and he falls to his knees.

“I thought I told you to go,” Captain Rogers says as he helps Vision to his feet.

“We don’t trade lives, Captain,” Vision tells him and although he is directing the comment to the hero, he is also talking about you. He jerks his head towards your direction and Captain Rogers swears under his breath.

“Is…is she alive?” He asks and Visions does not know how he would react if he heard otherwise.

“Just barely,” Visions replies. “She really held her own out here.”

Captain Rogers shakes his head, not accepting the complement Vision pays you.

“She’s just a kid.”

And it is true. Vision cannot deny this especially when he sees you bleeding on the ground, very far away from home and everything that is familiar to you.

“I do not think that matters during a war, Captain.”

Captain Rogers’ lips form a tight line and Vision thinks that maybe he should have kept his mouth shut.

“It should.”

…

There really was no way for Peter to jump into the fight Dr. Strange and Mr. Stark had with Thanos, but, by the end of it all, he really wished that he had at least tried. He was so far away, watching over the unconscious Guardians, and he honestly did not have a lot of fight left in him, but goddammit he should have been there.

If he had, maybe Mr. Stark would not have been stabbed.

If he had, maybe Dr. Strange would not have felt like he had no option but to give the Time stone to Thanos.

All the ifs and maybe circled Peter’s mind as he, Mantis, and Drax followed Star-Lord’s lead and made their way to Mr. Stark and Dr. Strange. Thanos is nowhere to be seen and all they can do now is sit on this blasted planet and lick their wounds.

This is not how Peter imagined his first fight as an Avenger to play out.

He wants to go home, he really, truly wants to go home, but he cannot start whining like a child when everyone is helpless and defeated. He thinks how they can make it back to Earth but their original spaceship is bust and he is pretty sure that they cannot just build something out of all the metal bits and pieces scattered around. He wants to ask Mr. Stark what they should do next, what can they do next, but he keeps quiet. He has never seen Mr. Stark look so lost and afraid and, frankly, he needs to tear his eyes away because no one should see their hero look like that.

The entire time he had been in the ship and on this planet, Peter had forced himself not to dwell too much on thoughts of home, friends, and family. He needed to focus on the mission but now that they have failed, he could not help but let his thoughts go straight to those three things.

Peter cannot believe how much he misses Aunt May’s (attempt at) cooking, Ned’s constant movie references and eagerness to be the “guy in the chair,” and your complaints about your schoolmates and lessons. He does not want to think that there is no going back from this planet but after everything that is happened, Peter cannot find it in himself to be hopeful.

This is so bad. This is the worst thing that ever could have happened.

And it could have been prevented.

If only he had been stronger.

Peter has his head in his hands because he does not want his companions to see the look of utter defeat and despair on his face. Never mind the fact that they probably look the same way. He just needs to be alone with his thoughts right now. He tries to really focus on his memories, find comfort in dancing in the living room with Aunt May, beating Ned at a game of Mario Kart, and seeing juggle things in the air using your powers. He tries to remember the sounds of laughter, cheers of triumph, and whispers of promises.

_Forever._

Peter cannot believe that he is breaking his promise to you.

_Peter…_

Great, now you are haunting him.

_Pe...Peter…_

He looks up from his hands and turns around to scan his surroundings.

Doctor Strange. Mr. Stark. Mantis. Drax. New Blue Robot Lady. Star-Lord.

_I…I…Peter…_

“That’s not a memory,” Peter mumbles to himself and maybe his companions heard him but he cannot bring himself to meet their gaze because he can hear your voice and you are nowhere on this planet.

_Lo…ou…Peter…_

Peter feels his heart fall to his stomach and he settles back down on his seat. He feels sick and not in the way that he has felt the entire time in space.

“You okay, kid?” Mr. Stark asks and Peter looks at the man and suddenly he cannot stay strong anymore.

“I lost,” Peter whispers and he cannot believe how hard it is to get the words out.

“I know,” Mr. Stark says and it sounds like an apology. “We all did.”

Peter shakes his head but cannot bring himself to explain that yes, they lost the fight, but it feels like he has lost something more.

…

You do not think you are dead because not only do you have a splitting headache (damn, what did you do before you passed out?), your mind is also filled with numerous thoughts that belong to you and those around. You feel nothing but pain and you think that maybe you should just stay wherever you are lest you injure yourself further. The voices in your head grow stronger, some of them shouts of victory and adrenaline while others are that off concern and exhaustion.

You feel a warmth on your belly and you feel Wanda’s presence. You feel the pain in your side ebb away and you suddenly remember the tricks she has taught you during your time on the jet. You will your power to go to your wound and you help Wanda stitch you back together.

You are clumsy and you feel yourself let out gasps of pain but Wanda helps and before you know it, you feel yourself opening your eyes.

Everything is blurry and your throat feels dry. You are not sure if you are just thirsty or maybe you ate some dirt when you fell down. You do not want to think too much about it. You might just throw up.

The voices in your head seem far off now and you focus your attention to those closest to you.

“Is she going to be okay?” You hear Captain America ask and you do not need to read his mind to know that he is very tired.

“She will be,” Wanda says and you feel like you could sleep for a hundred years. Maybe when you wake up, you could be the next Captain America.

“You did good, kid,” Captain America says when you push yourself off the ground, keeping your cries muffled. “You can stand down now.”

“I think I’ll do that,” you say with much effort and you try to relax against whatever it is that is behind you when you hear Vision let out a cry out pain. Wanda is immediately by his side and you feel a sense of dread wash over you, numbing you to your wounds.

“Are you okay?” Wanda asks and Vision lets out another sound of pain. “What…What is it?”

“He’s here,” Vision replies, eyes wide and scanning the area.

You do not need to ask who it is. The wind patterns change and you look around the forest, trying to find out where Thanos is going to pop out from. Your eyes land on the space behind Dr. Banner and you watch as a blue portal appears behind him. Wanda is prepared to fight, red energy forming at her fingertips, and you force yourself to your feet, looking for things to use to attack.

Now is not the time to stand down.

Not while this monster is still around.

“Eyes up,” Captain America says as he begins to make his way towards Thanos, “Stay sharp.”

You watch from your place as Thanos easily defeats the Avengers, trapping Dr. Banner in stone, tossing Captain America aside, knocking out the Black Panther, and destroying the Falcon’s wings. You immediately lose concentration and are scared. These are Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and Thanos is going through them like they are nothing. You look to Wanda and Vision and see that although you are near them, you are not close enough to protect or be protected.

You see that the other Avengers are coming closer and you try to buy them some time by using all that is left in you to create a force field to keep Thanos from coming any closer. He nearly stops in his tracks, sensing the invisible barrier, and you almost feel victories when looks eyes with you. You try to push him back, you really do, but it is a futile attempt. He moves his hand in a motion that causes you to fly the opposite direction and land painfully on the ground. You try to get up but you feel the roots of the trees wrap around your arms, legs, and neck, and you know that you are defeated.

All you can do is listen to the grunts of pain from the Avengers as well as the cries from Wanda and Vision.

You close your eyes, waiting for the end to come.


	22. Powerless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally get to hear Peter's thoughts but at what cost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader - 13 years old

The forest is quiet and yet you hear nothing but screaming in your head. You always knew that you slipped in and out of people’s minds unwillingly but you did not know the number of people you have created a link with until you felt the link break one by one. You stare up at the sky, unable to move even if the roots of the trees have released you the moment Thanos disappeared. You hear the numerous questions going through the Avengers minds. They ask themselves where Thanos has gone and what is going to happen next. Did they really lose? Did the snap really work?

In the distance, you feel the thoughts of Wakanda’s people fade from your mind. You no longer hear their battle cries or feel their determination. You hear confusion, voices of _Where did he go?_ and _She was just there!_ pass through your mind, and you feel tears well up in your eyes. The sky is so clear and, for the first time since you had that blasted power suppressing collar on you, you feel your mind clearing, too.

It is not comforting in the least.

You hear Bucky’s thoughts. He is tired but he wants to make his way to Captain America, his best friend. He wants to know what they are going to do next. He wants to be with someone familiar. You listen to his thoughts, you feel the fear that he is so good at hiding, and you cling onto his mind until you feel it fade away. His thoughts stop in the middle of a sentence and you let out a whimper from how painful it is to lose your connection with him.

The same happens with the king. He is thinking of finding Okoye, he needs to make sure she is safe before he can get back to his people. He needs to find his sister and his mother, too. He is thinking of what he is going to say to everyone, what they are going to do, but then his thoughts disappear as well and all you can hear is Okoye’s disbelief and panic. She cannot believe that her king has just turned into nothing but dust before her eyes and she is powerless and cannot save him.

You feel the heartache of a father losing his child, you are not sure whose mind you are in right now but you feel his pain. It is almost as bad as Wanda’s as she holds Vision’s body in her arms and succumbs to her death. The voices that remain in your head seem to get louder with each link that breaks and you cannot tell if the anguish you feel is yours anymore.

_I…Mr. Stark_

You stare at the sky and your lips quiver. The voice in your head is all too familiar and it breaks your heart.

_Don’t…go…I don’t…_

Peter. You cannot believe that you are finally able to connect to him but the link is weak and you feel him fading away. You try to hold on, you are desperate to stay with him, but he is simply too far away and you are too weak.

You still try because goddammit if you are going to leave this world next, you want to know that Peter is okay. You close your eyes and the next thing you see is Mr. Stark’s face and you can tell that you are in Peter’s mind.

He is in an unfamiliar place filled with nothing but destruction and you are afraid.

In Peter’s mind, you are one with him.

Everything he thinks and feels, you think and feel and right now, you do not feel so good. You sense that that something bad is happening and your body is trying to keep up with this bad feeling, almost as if it is trying to heal itself, but it is not working. You collapse into Mr. Stark’s arms, you hold him tighter than you have ever held anyone before, you beg him.

The connection is getting weaker and your vision is slipping away from you. In the distance, you hear someone calling your name.

_Peter,_ you try to reach out to him, to let him know that you are here, but there are too many things going on through Peter’s mind that he cannot hear you. He thinks that your voice is only a passing memory.

You fall to the ground. Mr. Stark’s arm is still around you, taking in most of the impact, and you look at him, you see the fear and sadness in his eyes. You can see that he cannot believe what is happening, that he does not want what is happening to be real. He assures you that you are okay, that Peter is okay, but you already feel Peter’s mind leaving you and when you open your eyes, you are back on Earth and Captain America is looking down at you, brows knitted.

“Thank God you are still here,” he says, holding out his hand, ready to help you up.

But you do not feel like you are here. You do not feel like you are real. You could have sworn you were definitely dying like all the rest, you thought you were next as you felt their voices fade away. What was once a steady buzz in your head is now gone. The voices of the remaining are louder and afraid and confused and overwhelming.

You thought you were dying. You felt like you had.

You were in Peter’s head and you were so sure that...

“He’s gone,” you tell Captain America, your voice hoarse as if you had been screaming in pain.

Captain America purses his lips and his thoughts slip into your mind. He wants to ask who you are talking about but feels like it would be stupid. He had just seen his best friend turn into dust in front of him. He does not know how many more have gone the same way. You could be talking about anyone.

“Let’s get you up,” he says and you let him lift you to your feet. The wound in your stomach is throbbing in pain and you focus on it because you do not want to listen to the voices in your head. “We should…we should gather everyone who’s…”

“Who’s left,” you say, looking up to see that Rhodey, Okoye, Dr. Banner, Black Widow, Thor, and a raccoon you had never seen before had survived the snap. “Not that many.” Vision is lying on the ground, a large gaping hole in the middle of his forehead. You want to look away but you cannot bring yourself to.

“What is this?” Rhodey asks, taking in everyone who is still alive. “What the hell is happening?”

You feel Captain America’s hold on you weaken and you are sure that if he were not supporting you, he would have fallen to his knees from sheer exhaustion and defeat.

“Oh God…”

…

You are not sure if everything that happened next was quick or not. You do not exactly register your surroundings once you and the remaining Avengers are settled somewhere safe. They talk, probably do a headcount, and they plan.

You do not listen.

Instead, you look down at your hands. They are cleaner now since you washed up after you got your wound checked but for some reason you can still see dirt and blood on them.

You close your fist. You feel the cloth of Mr. Stark’s jacket against our flesh. Peter was holding onto him for his dear life.

Peter.

Your phone miraculously still has battery. Five percent to be exact.

When you unlocked the device, you were greeted with a large number of notifications. You had more unread messages and miscalls than you thought was possible in your lifetime. Most of them were from Aunt May and Megan but you see some from your other friends and teachers.

At least you know that they survived the snap.

You should probably let them know that you, too, are still here. Still whole.

But you do not feel like you are.

“We’ll bring you back home,” Black Widow, no, Natasha, says to you in a gentle voice. You look up and see that she is now crouching in front of you, looking at you with kind eyes and you are sure she is forcing herself for our sake.

Home. Where was that again?

“You are staying at the X-Mansion, right?” She says even though you are sure she already knows. “I’ll personally escort you there. Explain the situation and everything.”

“No…,” you say to her even though you want nothing more than to curl up in your bed. You didn’t reply to any of Megan’s messages but you had looked through them. Professor X is no longer there and you do not see the point of going back now without him. “I…I wanna go back to Queens.”

…

You fiddle with the hem of your hoodie for longer than you should as you stand in front of the Parkers’ door, unable to talk yourself into knocking or ringing the bell. Natasha had offered to wait with you, she even said that she would talk to Aunt May but you told her that it was something that you had to do yourself.

If you could only get yourself to let her know that you are outside.

You hear her thoughts from the opposite side of the door. She is watching the news and hear her praying that you and Peter are okay. The Battle of Wakanda is being discussed but there is no footage. There is also no news of the whereabouts of Tony Stark. The last Iron Man was seen was flying towards the spaceship that Spider-Man was also seen clinging onto.

You take this as your cue and you knock on the door. You do not use much force, in fact you doubt she even heard you, but then the door swings open not even two seconds later and you are face to face with the woman you have missed so much.

“Oh thank God you are okay!” Aunt May says the moment she sees you standing outside her door. She brings you into a bone crushing hug, the kind that makes you feel like you can no longer breathe, and you welcome it whole heartedly.

The flight and ride back had been exhausting, your body finally catching up to yesterday’s events. Natasha’s presence was calming, you even spoke to her about how the voices in your head are louder now that half the population is no longer there, and she teaches you techniques on how to calm your mind. You bond a little and you hope that this is not the last you see of her. You are not an Avenger but you can tell that you will be with them a lot more from now on.

You do not fight alongside them against a Mad Titan and face the consequences of your defeat and not have a special sort of relationship after. It is simply not possible.

“Look at you,” Aunt May says, pushing your hair away from your face and taking in your appearance—your bruised cheeks, dark circles, and cracked lips. You had seen better days.

“It’s been a long day,” you say to her and although you want to crack a smile, to brush off the whole ordeal, you feel your eyes water for the nth time and you bury your face into her shoulder. “It was so scary, May! I thought…I thought…”

“Shh,” Aunt May cooes. “It’s okay…it’s okay…”

You are both in the kitchen now, hot chocolate on the table in front of you, unspoken words hanging in the air. You know she wants to ask, you can hear her thoughts loud and clear, but she is being patient. You hate yourself for making her feel like she has to be. You wring your hands together and you look at Aunt May in the eye. You see that she has been crying and you feel yourself break under her gaze.

You are already crying before you can get the words out.

“I’m so sorry,” you sob, the words coming out broken. “I really tried. We really tried to stop him but he was too strong!”

Aunt May says your name softly but you can hear her thoughts and she is already piecing together your confession.

“He was so far away, May! I wanted to keep the link with him, I really did! But I just couldn’t! I wasn’t strong enough.”

You aren’t sure if the words that are coming out of your mouth make sense anymore. You hear yourself crying more than talking and Aunt May brings you into an embrace. You wrap your arms around her waist and everything that you have been keeping in comes tumbling out your mouth in short, wavering gasps.

…

When you open your eyes, you see the familiar sight of the Parkers’ television clouded in darkness. You do not hear the familiar noises of traffic outside and you reach out, looking for comfort. You expect to find Aunt May. Why wouldn’t you? You both had fallen asleep on the sofa after you had calmed down.

You told her everything from how you felt something bad was going to happen and how you had just gotten into contact with Peter before he was whisked away in the spaceship. You talked about Wakanda and how Wanda had entrusted Vision’s safety to you and you failed. You even told her about how Thanos had easily subdued you and how you had somehow managed to create a link with Peter before it was cut off.

You had to tell her about Peter. You could not keep it to yourself. It was unfair to her. She stayed strong though. Did not shed a single tear while you were in her presence. Instead, she brought you to the sofa, covered the both of you in her favorite blanket and combed her fingers through your hair, lulling you to sleep.

You think that maybe the two of you should have talked about it. About him. But honestly, what is there to say?

You hope that you are wrong about him.

There is no guarantee that he is no longer up in space.

Mr. Stark is only declared missing after all.

There is still a chance that he is still alive.

You hear sobbing in your mind. It is a sound you have grown accustomed to.

It’s Aunt May. That, you are not used to.

You push yourself off of the sofa and turn to look towards the direction of her bedroom.

She is thinking of Peter. Of Ben. Of Peter’s parents.

She should probably not feel like she is alone right now but you cannot get yourself to move.

You stare at the dark, empty hallway and, in this moment, you feel the most powerless you have ever felt in your whole life.


	23. Learning to Manage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life after the Decimation is not easy but you have to learn to manage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader - 13/14 years old

_23 Days After the Decimation_

You fall to your knees and, at least for a short moment, your mind is quiet. You do not hear Aunt May’s sobs nor Mr. Stark’s apologies. You do not hear the thoughts of your neighbors, how they had lost their daughter to the snap, or the thoughts of those living in the building beside yours, or the one beside that, or the thoughts of those in the next city.

In this agonizingly short moment, all you can hear is Mr. Stark’s voice ringing in your head.

_“I…the kid…Peter…I couldn’t save Peter. I’m so sorry.”_

You knew this. God, did you know this.

You were there, you were _in_ Peter’s head when it happened and yet some part of you still hoped that you were wrong, that the distance between Wakanda and whatever planet he was on was so great that although you were able to reach him, _finally_ reach him, you had misunderstood what you had seen, what you had felt.

Mr. Stark had miraculously returned to Earth two days ago and there was no news about Spider-Man being with him on the ship. No Peter Parker.

The ugly vase Aunt May is so very fond of shatters and you come to your senses. Mr. Stark is in front of you, he probably should not be exerting the effort to get to your level, look you in the eye, but here he is, all skin and bones and haunted eyes. Aunt May has her hand over her chest, shocked by your powers destroying her vase, but she does not say anything.

“Hey,” Mr. Stark says, mouth slightly quirking upward out of habit.

“…hey,” you say and although you really did not want to, you peaked into his mind.

You never thought that you would witness someone having a moon thrown at them.

Mr. Stark brings you out of his thoughts as quickly as you entered them.

“Saw what you wanted?”

“You fought hard.”

“Not hard enough.”

You shake your head. “It’s not your fault.”

And you truly believe this. Although you really want to blame someone (and of course you can blame Thanos but he is not around to shout at) you cannot bring yourself to hate Mr. Stark.

Mr. Stark nods his head and you do not need to read his mind to know that he carries Peter’s death on his shoulders. You know that he wants you to blame him, probably why he let you in his head with no complaints.

You place your hand on top of his and you push the thought of him being too skinny to the back of your mind. You focus on making sure your smile reaches your eyes and you try to calm Mr. Stark’s mind to the best of your abilities.

“Thanks for being there for him.”

…

_1 Month After the Decimation_

Aunt May never thought going to the grocery would be a surreal experience. She had gotten used to waiting in long lines and conversing with the cashiers at the checkout line but ever since…well, _that_ , life has been different. It was hard finding out her favorite cashier had disappeared along with many others but Aunt May managed. When half the population—when your _family_ disappears in the blink of an eye and you do not even have the chance to be with them when that happens, you do not have any choice but to manage

Aunt May barely manages to adjust the grocery bags in her arm to free up her hand when you slam the door open, staring up at her, breathing heavily as if you had just run a marathon. Aunt May looks down at you, surprised, and everything clicks in her mind and she figures out why tears are welling up in your eyes.

“I just needed to get some ingredients,” she tells you, using her free hand to smooth your hair. “I left you a message.”

You look down at your feet, digging your phone out of your back pocket. You press a button, but your screen does not light up.

“I…forgot to charge my phone,” you say, voice small. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, sweetie. I should have left a note somewhere, too. I’ll be careful.”

Aunt May gives you a smile that _does_ reach her tired eyes and you feel guilt settle heavily in your stomach. You hate that you made Aunt May feel bad about leaving her own apartment but you could not help but panic when you woke up from your trance and could not find her anywhere.

It has been a weak since Tony Stark has come back down to Earth and ever since he has confirmed that Peter had indeed been a victim to Thano’s snap, you could not help but go into some kind of shock. You tried to stay strong that day, tried not to breakdown in front of Mr. Stark, but once his too thin form walked out the door, you felt your world crumble.

Mr. Stark, an actual _hero,_ lost.

You knew that happened. You were there with the rest of the Avengers when they lost, when _you_ lost, but for some reason Mr. Stark’s loss hit you harder. Took the wind out of your lungs and practically stopped your heart.

You have spent most of your days staring at the ceiling, sometimes just lying down on the sofa or floating in the middle of the living room, listening to the thoughts of everyone in your telepathic radius.

You have felt nothing but anger and anguish since the snap, your mind filled with the thoughts of everyone around you, mourning the loss of people you did not even know.

You wish that there was a way to turn off your thoughts, to find peace and quiet, but you are afraid of what is going to happen if you stop hearing everyone else.

You already know what it feels like to have your link with people severed, you do not think you can handle it happening again.

You do not want to be left alone again.

…

_6 Months After the Decimation_

It took you longer than you thought it would but you congratulate yourself for making it this far. The X-Mansion looks exactly the same way it did when you ran away that night and yet, at the same time, it looks entirely different. You try not to dwell on the fact that it probably is because a lot of the people you knew are no longer there. That Professor X is not there to welcome and reprimand you.

You do not bother to knock on the door. Instead, you unlock it with your powers and you step in as quietly as you can. You feel like an outsider, which is honestly a feat in the X-Mansion, and you wonder if you should just turn back and act like you were never there. You almost completely convince yourself to abandon ship when Megan steps into view, looking at you as if you were a ghost.

She probably thought you were. You regret not answering any of her messages.

Megan brings you into the tightest hug you have ever had, tighter than the one Aunt May gave you—something you did not think was possible. She has tears in her eyes but you know that it would be a cold day in hell before she ever let them fall. Instead, she tilts her head back and tries to blink her tears back into their ducts. You are not quite sure how she manages to do that.

She holds onto your arm as if you need guidance, bringing around the X-Mansion. She does not tell you about who are still in the building but you figure it out yourself soon enough. It is not that hard, seeing as Megan has a mental list of who had mysteriously disappeared that day. You are glad that your good friends are still around but you feel your heart sink when you realize that, along with Professor X, majority of the professors did not make it.

Alumni had volunteered to watch over the students who did not or could not return to their homes.

Megan seems to have naturally taken the role as the mansion’s older sister, making sure that everything and everyone is okay, even those who have left to be with their families.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” you tell Megan when you both settle in the kitchen, preparing lunch. “It must have been tough.”

“I didn’t expect you to come back,” Megan says with a shrug of her shoulder. She gives you a smile when she sees you make a conflicted face. “I knew why you had to leave.”

“Still.”

“I’m just glad you’re still here.”

You watch as Megan brings out a stack of plates and you help her by floating the food out the door along with the utensils. You follow Megan’s orders, placing the plates where they need to be and you watch as she calls for people to come to the table. You stand in the corner, watching your fellow mutants trickle in and you try not to linger in their heads for too long.

You find nothing new in their minds, they think the same things people back at Queens do, but you feel something different from them.

A different feeling of loss.

You smile at familiar and unfamiliar faces and you hope you look at least half as put together as Megan does.

…

You should not have wandered off on your own but Megan had to discuss some things with the alumni and you could not bear to be alone in the living room with everyone else. You walked up to yours and Megan’s room, you _hope_ that it is still your room, and find that Megan has left all your things untouched.

You see a thick layer of dust on your desk and you cannot help but think that Megan left it alone out of spite because you ghosted her.

You cannot exactly blame her.

You walked towards the window, looking out of it to appreciate the view when the memory of Peter swinging to you in the dead of night just to check up on you hits you hard.

You nearly tear the curtains off the rod when you fall to the floor.

You see him in front of your for just a second, see him dressed in his Spider-Man costume, mask held tightly in his hand. He is smiling down at you, just like he did that night. Without thinking, you reach your hand out to him, just to touch him, and he disappears from your sight. Just like that. As fast as you can snap your fingers.

Megan comes into the room seconds after that and she runs to your side, asking you what happened. You look at her, your eyes wide and your mind fuzzy, and you realize that you had accidentally used your powers to flip your entire bed over and smash your desk against the wall.

“I…I saw…,” you begin, not sure if what you saw was really there despite all the things you know. “I’m sorry, Meg. I’ll…I’ll fix it.”

…

_1 Year and a Half After the Decimation_

You definitely owe Mr. Stark an explanation but he does not ask for one. Instead, he has you sit in his dining room while he brings out fresh orange juice from his refrigerator. One of Pepper’s newest and most successful projects was her orange tree. She is also growing lemons and herbs. You think she’ll try grapes next month.

Mr. Stark offers you a glass and you take it without comment. He has his own glass and he drinks it eagerly.

“That hits the spot,” Mr. Stark says with a sigh, leaning back. He gestures for you to drink yours and you take slow sips, staring holes into his table.

You should have probably told someone about the dark thoughts. You know that you could have told literally anyone that all the negative thoughts you and other people were having were causing you to spiral, make your powers go off. Somedays, you had little to no control over them. You had destroyed things, hurt people.

You were— _are_ afraid.

But you do not know who to turn to.

Megan is busy handling things at the X-Mansion and you do not want to worry Aunt May. She worries about your almost catatonic episodes enough. You do not want her to think about your dwindling control over your powers. You cannot bother anymore. She is slowly getting better, learning to become happy again despite everything. You tell yourself you will not destroy her progress.

You do destroy about five fire hydrants, the fire escape and water tank of your building, the road heading towards the X-Mansion, and a jungle gym. You also end up controlling people, having walk into posts and, on one occasion, make some guy on the street believe that he is actually a dog.

It took a while to reverse the damage but you do in time for Mr. Stark to pick you and bring you to his new house by the lake.

“Y’know what I really wish I could do right now?” Mr. Stark starts, startling you out of your thoughts. You look up at him and see him pointing at you, eyes full of wonder and interest. You keep silent, hoping he would continue without you saying anything. He does. “I wish I had your powers right now.”

You feel your brows shoot up. After everything that has happened? He wants your powers?

“Y’see, Morgan, sweetest baby angel in the world, does not let me sleep,” Mr. Stark says, voice barely above a whisper. You look at him questioningly and before you can even ask why he is suddenly being so quiet; you hear a baby’s wail from another room.

“All baby’s cry, Mr. Stark,” you tell him.

“I know that. I just want to know what’s making her cry,” Mr. Stark runs a hand through his hair. “I know if she’s hungry or if she wants to sleep but what about the other times? What if there is actually something really bothering her? I want to be able to fix it.”

You are not quite sure what to say. Unfortunately, you baby crying knowledge is close to zilch. Everything your saying is purely based on what you have seen in TV and in movies.

“Don’t…don’t they cry for no reason sometimes?”

“Well, that’s why I said your powers would really come in handy. I want to know if that’s the reason, too,” Mr. Stark shrugs. “I bet that mind calming thing you do would really come in handy at night.”

You feel your cheeks warm. “You noticed that?”

“Not a lot gets past me, kid.” Mr. Stark gets up from his seat and pats you on your shoulder. You are not sure why but somehow the heavy weight of his hand comforts you. “I’m going to head over to the Squirt’s room to help out. Wanna meet her?”


	24. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life goes on after the Decimation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader - 15-18 years old

_2 Years After the Decimation_

At first, you would spend time in Morgan’s room to help her calm down during her crying episodes but over time, it turns out that Morgan’s mind puts you at ease. Morgan, sweet baby angel, is full of wonder and mischief. She does not know anything about the Avengers, Thanos, or the snap. To her, the only heroes in her life are her father and her mother. You find peace in her thoughts, in how she thinks about when her mother is going to come in with a snack or what sort of toy her father is tinkering with on the table.

There are days when the world would overwhelm her, where she encounters thoughts and feelings that she does not quite understand and she gets frustrated. You help her in these moments, help her come into terms with them, help her understand. Most of the time, Pepper and Tony are there to soothe her and you allow yourself to slip into their minds and bask in their family’s love.

You miss May in these moments, you often send her a text when you find a moment alone just to let her know you are okay and that you hope she is doing well, too, but you miss Peter more.

Sometimes you see him in the corner of Morgan’s room, standing by her mountain of toys or looking at her collection of books. He does not say anything, he never does, and you do not say anything either.

Your floating Morgan’s solar system replica around the toddler, smiling at her joyous laughter, when you hear sobbing at the back of your mind. Stark’s new residence is far enough from the city that you do not often hear the thoughts of those outside the family but sometimes, someway, you slip into someone’s mind. Today, it is a mother who had lost both her husband and children to the Decimation. It’s her youngest’s birthday today. She would have been thirteen years old, a teenager at last.

You do not realize the tears dripping down your face until Morgan makes a noise, gesturing her arms to you. She is holding her arms out and you scoop her into your arms and hold her close. The solar system slowly goes back to the ground with you know focused on Morgan and you bury your nose in her hair.

You see Peter sitting in Pepper’s rocking chair, feet up on the ottoman, and you wonder how he would be with Morgan. You imagine he would be like an older brother, read her stories and sneak her into Tony’s garage while he is helping Pepper with dinner. You think he would be good at putting her to sleep, his presence was always calming to you.

The mother’s crying is still ringing in your mind and you see a flash of her memories. Her family was celebrating her husband’s promotion when Thanos snapped. You see her husband and kids turn into dust in front of her eyes.

Morgan reaches up to clumsily wipe your tears and you can’t help but let out a small laugh.

“I’m fine,” you tell her and you hope that toddlers are not yet able to tell if someone is lying to them. “I’m alright.”

…

_3 Years After the Decimation_

“Don’t tell me that’s what I think it is.”

You look up from your laptop to see Megan staring at you, an almost enraged look on her face. For a second, you think she is talking about the patterned leggings you were seconds away from purchasing for Morgan’s birthday, but you realize that rather than your screen, Megan is looking at your neck. You reach your hand up to feel the lightweight metal you wear like a piece of jewelry.

“Oh,” you say, trying to find the right words to say. “I, uhm, had Tony make it for me.”

Megan scowls. “I can’t believe Stark agreed to make an inhibitor collar.” She says his name like it is acid and you feel yourself wince, hoping that you have not tarnished Tony’s name for Megan.

“Believe me, he didn’t want to,” you start, slowly closing your laptop. You guess that you have to buy Megan’s gift another time. “I had to beg him for months.”

“You asked for that monstrosity?” Megan looks almost betrayed.

“Cute, right?” You say in a poor attempt to lighten the mood. In your opinion, it looked so much better than the one your parents forced onto you when you were barely thirteen. Tony had designed it to look like an ordinary choker necklace and made sure that the material he used was light and did not irritate your skin in any way.

“That’s not funny,” Megan says.

You wipe the smile off your face and nod your head. You do not want to say it but you really don’t want her to think bad of Tony. Really. Tony did not want to make it, he remembered that night as well as you did, but you could not take it anymore. You could not find peace in your own mind.

“Neither is having everyone’s thoughts in your head.”

Megan says your name, her tone softer, kinder, and you find yourself sort of hating her for it.

“It’s fine, that’s why I asked for this. It’s been quiet up here,” you poke your temple, “ever since. I can sleep better at night.”

There’s a beat of silence, you can see Megan struggling with what she is going to say next. You think that if you were not wearing the collar right now, you would have already peaked into her mind and answered her unsaid questions. It is strange, actually waiting to hear what someone is thinking. It is something you need to get used to.

“I…I thought you said you don’t like the quiet?”

“I don’t,” you say with a shrug. “But it’s a whole lot better than having everyone in my head right now.” You turn your eyes away from Megan and you see Peter standing by the door, looking at the two of you. “Three years is still not enough time, huh?”

“What?”

“It’s been three years but no one really forgets losing their friends and loved ones in an instant,” you say, turning your attention back to your friend. “Dealing with your own grief is one thing, but everyone else’s?”

“I didn’t know…” Megan says.

You refrain from saying that you did, you did know. You knew everything and it damn well nearly destroyed you.

“It’s fine,” you smile.

“So…right now…you can’t use your powers…at all?”

You lift your hand and with a flick of your finger, your laptop opens, revealing your wallpaper. It is of you and Morgan. You had taken her out to play by the lake so that Tony and Pepper could have some time together.

“Tony didn’t want me to lose my power completely. I just can’t do as much as I did before. I don’t hear people’s thoughts as easily and I can’t exactly live heavy weighted objects but it’s okay.” You nod your head, agreeing with your own statement. “I’ll be okay.”

…

_4 Years After the Decimation_

May had insisted that you come back to Queens and have dinner with her, even stay the night. She did not have to put so much effort trying to convince you, her asking was enough. You missed her, you did not even know how much you missed her until you were standing right in front of her, taking in her long, dark hair, and sparkling eyes.

“You’ve gotten so big now,” May says and you realize that you are now too tall for her to bury her face into your hair.

“Oh. It must be the shoes,” you say, tilting your foot in a way that allows May to see your heel.

May sniffs and wipes away a nonexistent tear. “I’m going to miss your sneakers and combat boots.” She looks up from your shoes and sees the small black bag you have slung over your shoulder. “And your backpack!”

“Ah, yeah,” you say, gripping onto your bag’s strap. It was a struggle figuring out what to bring with such a small bag. “I thought it was time for a change.”

“It’s good. You look good,” May assures you. “You don’t look like you’re going to run away at a moment’s notice.”

You think back to how you used to dress, comfortable shoes and a heavy backpack and you think that May is right. You did dress up like you would run away as soon as you had a chance to. You think that no one can blame you. The situation you were in at that time left you feeling like you had to get away as fast as you could the moment things went downhill.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you say and it is true. Your parents are gone (were they a victim of Thanos’ snap or were they still behind bars? You find that you could not care less) and you have found a home in several places. You tell yourself that you can now wear shoes that pinch your toes but make your legs look nice. You deserve it. “Well, no, that’s not true. I thought we were going out for dinner?”

“You read my mind,” May grins and takes her bag and her coat from the hook by her door. “What are you craving?”

…

You and May did not expect to stay out as late as you did but then here you both were giggling to yourselves as you both made your way back to her apartment. You have your arms hooked together, the back of your feet feels raw from your new shoes, and May talks about her adventures as a teenager, how she used to sneak out with her friends. She tells you that even though she understands the thrill and the excitement of breaking the rules, you should not do the same.

“I-I’ll try,” you say because the alumni back at the mansion are not exactly as strict as your teachers were. They understood what it was like wanting to have fun behind the adults’ backs, especially with their powers.

“It’s not ‘try,’ it’s ‘promise!’” May says in a playful tone.

“But my youth…”

If you were not wearing the inhibitor choker, you would have probably heard his thoughts before you heard the sound of his gun being drawn. You and May whirl around and see a hooded figure and the barrel of a gun staring right at you. You wait to hear the words you have only heard on TV or read in books but the man does not say anything. He does not ask you or May for your bags or your phones. He does not even ask for May nice, shiny earrings. You do not need to be able to read his mind to know that he is going to get what he wants without saying anything.

You are not fast enough to completely keep May out of harm’s way. The bullet grazes her shoulder and its her cry that snaps you out of your trance.

What in the world are you doing? You are a mutant. Why aren’t you doing anything?

Tony has designed the collar to be taken off just like any ordinary necklace (you did not want any of his high-tech features where it would wrap around your neck the same way his helmet forms around his head) but he also put in a feature that would deactivate the collar if you were ever in danger.

Which so happens to be right now.

You hold May in your arms as you stare down at the man, watching as the gun in his hand begins to shake. With only the powers of your mind, you rip the gun out of his hands and throw it as far away from him as possible. Next, you float the man in the air and you find yourself smiling when he lets out scared and pained whispers. You think about going into his mind, to mess with him in there, but you remember a scene from Star Wars and you think of going for his neck instead.

You always knew you had the power to hurt people, but you never thought that you would willingly kill someone until this moment.

You glare at the man, watch him struggle against your invisible force, and you think to yourself that you are not the bad guy because he so clearly is the one who is in the wrong.

You tell yourself you will be forgiven.

You see Peter standing just under the man’s body and you feel May’s grip on your arm. She says your name firmly and you feel like your losing your grip on the hooded man.

“Stop it,” May tells you, her grip hard. “You aren’t like this. This isn’t you.”

“But May—”

“He wouldn’t want you to do this?”

You stare at her, eyes wide, and you release your hold on the man. He falls to the ground, hard, and you hear him choke on his own breath. Peter is no longer there and all you can see is that man you were so close to killing.

“You’re a monster! A freak!” The man screams at you, his voice raw and you are sure it takes everything in him to get the words out of his mouth.

You go into his mind and knock him out. May helps you to your feet and you hover your hand over her wound, healing her in the same way Wanda taught you all those years ago.

“C’mon,” May says, voice barely above a whisper. “Let’s get out of here.”

You let May drag you behind her, your collar turning back on so that you can no longer hear her panicked thoughts or the thoughts of those in the buildings next to you, wondering if what they really heard was a gunshot.

The heels of your feet sting with every step you take, you are sure they are bleeding at this point, but you cannot find it in you to care. All you can think about is how you are now in a situation where you should be running but you are not dressed for it.

…

_5 Years After the Decimation_

You are braiding Morgan’s hair, watching as Tony tinkers with your choker on the living room table. Pepper is running errands in the city which meant Tony could play with his toys outside his garage all he wanted until she got back home. Morgan has a toy screw driver in her hand and mimics Tony’s mumbling and headshakes as she tinkers with one of her toy cars.

You restart her braid when Morgan shakes her head again, mumbling a swear word under her breath.

Your eyes widen. Tony does not seem to have noticed.

“Where did you learn that word?”  

“Daddy,” Morgan says, almost proudly. “And you.”

“Me?” Your brows shoot up and you can already imagine the look on Pepper’s face if she were to find this out. You and Tony would probably go to bed outside without dinner.

“You say it when you take of your shoes,” Morgan says and pokes your heel with her screwdriver. “Your feet look like mommy’s.”

You imagine Pepper’s high heels and you wince. You think the wounds on your heels would be so much worse if you wore her shoes.

“What happened?” Morgan asks.

“I had to run away and I was wearing the wrong shoes,” you say as you come your fingers through her hair. You think that it’s pointless to braid her hair with her looking over her shoulder just to talk to you.

“Like in the movies?”

You imagine a handkerchief with all your belongings tied to a stick. “Something like that.”

“Where did you go?”

You tilt you head in thought and in the corner of your eye, you see Peter standing by the window. You think about the night you and May ran away from the hooded man. You had gone back to the X-Mansion in the dead of night and you have not visited her since. You have texted her a few times, even called her, but you could not bring yourself to face her after what you have almost done.

You think that Tony knows about what happened that night. How could he not have? You had run straight for his house the moment you got out of the building. He probably has some sort of AI installed in your choker that you do not know about.

Morgan says your name again; the back of her head is now against your chest from having fallen back from trying to look at you.

“I went home,” you said, smiling.


End file.
